08-07-2007, 12:08 PM
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My DD is 8 - little young for me to be posting here, but childhood and GD seem for the under 6 set, so here goes.....
DD whines and explodes. She is very sensitive and takes many things very personally. It is hard on her, hard to watch, and frankly, hard to listen to. Her friends are starting to pick up on it...the complaioning and overly sensitive behaviour is pushing away her friends
I have been working with her on deep breathing and putting things in perspective, and in many ways it is working! Yeah! I think the only negative (and it is a big one) is she does not feel "heard". She felt "heard" when I tolerated and pandered to her explosions, but now that I will not listen to whining/exploding she does not feel heard. Truthfully, I DO listen to her, when she calms down and talks -but I think she is confusing "listenning" with agreeing
I listen to her all right, I just do not always agree with her. And, really, I do not want to give too much life-energy to petty stuff - I don't want to send the message to her that a tiny incident is worth getting all riled up for. I don't want or need the drama...and I do not think it is good for her, either.
At any rate....DH and I are not on the same page. He listens to her no matter how she expresses her message, and takes her side in any dispute (often with her brother) She does not whine in front of me, but the moment daddy gets home the exploding starts. I called her on it yesterday, and she said she explodes in front of daddy because he listens to her...and that there is no point exploding in front of me, because I do not listen!
I have tried talking to DH, but he genuinely feels she is the maligned one, and wants to support her/hear her...so I do not think he is going to change his behaviour.
: what to do?