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#61 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 07:26 PM
 
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I unconnected the cable from our house for two weeks.
LOL that is funny! I actually rigged the TV so she only got BABY channel, Food TV and TBN! She turned it off and read a book
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#62 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 07:31 PM
 
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If none of this works - remind your son that some animals eat their young. :
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#63 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 07:51 PM
 
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I don't believe in parental controls. I have never turned them on and I do not intend to. To me turning those on says to your kids, "I don't trust you to make the right choice." Then again, I am also against censorship.

My 8 year old knows she is only to watch the "kid channels" unless she has asked to watch something else. She generally only watches shows she has already Tivoed.

Since we don't have movie channels there are no R rated movies for my 14 year old to watch on TV. And as I have said before, she regularly watches all three CSI's, Prison Break, Shark and other such shows. I am not really worried about what she watches. And she still goes through at least one book a week.
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#64 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 08:02 PM
 
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No parental controls here either. Just eeks me out.

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#65 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 08:38 PM
 
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I don't believe in parental controls ... Then again, I am also against censorship.

My 8 year old knows she is only to watch the "kid channels" unless she has asked to watch something else.
Whether you do it by activating a function on your television or by expressing limits, it is still parental control and censorship - neither of which is a *bad* thing.

While we never activated parental controls, we did set standards and I think most families do when what's available on their TV exceeds the maturity and understanding level of their children.
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#66 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 08:43 PM
 
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Whether you do it by activating a function on your television or by expressing limits, it is still parental control and censorship - neither of which is a *bad* thing.

While we never activated parental controls, but we did set standards and I think most families do when what's available on their TV exceeds the maturity and understanding level of their children.
I disagree. Setting the controls on the TV tells your child you do not trust them not to watch inappropriate things on TV. Telling them to stick to the Disney's/noggin/nick/sprout channels without setting the controls tells them you trust them to stay within the limits.

Really I am not even sure if I have ever told DD to stick to those channels. I think she just sticks to them because that is what she wants to watch. And as I have said, she Tivo's her favorite shows and watches them later.

I tivo. You can watch what you want to watch when you want to watch it and don't have to worry about what time something is on.
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#67 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 09:24 PM
 
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Whether you do it by activating a function on your television or by expressing limits, it is still parental control and censorship - neither of which is a *bad* thing.
I disagree that it's not a bad thing. I think you are right that most families do it though.

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#68 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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and adn really, wher eis the limit...if yourkid want to watch bestiality videos on internet would you le thim?
IF you are no guding your child, what is the point of having parent? You can jsut give me $$$ and let him live on his own.
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#69 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 09:41 PM
 
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and adn really, wher eis the limit...if yourkid want to watch bestiality videos on internet would you le thim?
IF you are no guding your child, what is the point of having parent? You can jsut give me $$$ and let him live on his own.
No one is arguing against guidance . . . but restricting doesn't equal guiding your kids any more than allowing them to choose what they read/watch/hear equals leaving them to their own devices. My daughter (the only child I have old enough to watch tv and express a preference about it) watches whatever she wants. However, she watches most things with us, and we talk about issues and offer our opinions as we go (or after, if we saw something in a movie theater). *That* is guidance.

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#70 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 09:54 PM
 
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No one is arguing against guidance . . . but restricting doesn't equal guiding your kids any more than allowing them to choose what they read/watch/hear equals leaving them to their own devices. My daughter (the only child I have old enough to watch tv and express a preference about it) watches whatever she wants. However, she watches most things with us, and we talk about issues and offer our opinions as we go (or after, if we saw something in a movie theater). *That* is guidance.
Right. Not having prohibitions or bans on TV doesn't equal having no guidance or parental involvement. Very common misconception though...

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#71 of 127 Old 08-29-2007, 10:08 PM
 
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If you don't want him to watch those shows, then don't let him watch. If he keeps badgering you, I'd limit his TV time or choices even furthur to teach him that badgering me is NOT the way to go about getting what he wants.
ITA. We dont have any movie channels and we have parental controls so i can block tv shows AND movies with certain ratings. I have to put in a code to unlock anything above PG-13, and above TV14. He's testing your firmness and boundaries. If you feel that he should not watch XYZ, then you will have to make it so he does not have access to it.
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#72 of 127 Old 08-31-2007, 05:30 PM
 
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Op here....


2. I wish preteens came with a handbook about what they should be allowed to do and when! I know he si supposed to gain more freedom and make more decisions for himself over time, but when do we bend and how much? I do not know what is age appopriate and what isn't. I feel very confused.





Kathy

We are there right now with our 10 year old. DH and I are debating over whether we should let him watch "otherwise OK" media that has the F-bomb ( I say that since he knows that word, we should not let it's presence alone preclude something, but DH says it should) and what level of suggestiveness we'll allow (we let him watch some Firefly, but not where Inara's profession is specified). It isn't easy.
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#73 of 127 Old 08-31-2007, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Little update:

We told DS that every 2 or 3 months we would devote a week or so to screening shows he wants to watch. We will explain why the show is or is not OK with us, but that he is not to badger in the meantime.

We wil see how it works outs. I am happy with this plan, and so is he (he is pleased we will screen shows before refusing them, something I have rarely done in the past due to being so tired of the constant, daily nagging )

Kathy
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#74 of 127 Old 08-31-2007, 05:43 PM
 
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Sounds like a good compromise. It wasn't fair for him to constantly nag you, but I am sure he feels it wasn't fair for you to forbid things you hadn't seen. I hope it works out for you and I completely agree with screening things based on age/maturity-appropriateness. It is tough to find the right balance between overprotective and too lenient!

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#75 of 127 Old 08-31-2007, 05:47 PM
 
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Talk about a kid testing his limits! Do not give in. If you have to, remove the TV from the house. Get serious about it. If he complains, shove a book in his hand. I went for three years growing up at that age without a TV. I suffered no ill consequences, except that I acquired an expensive book habit! Pull the plug on what you deem to be inappropriate. It's called parenting, and far too few people are doing it now-a-days.
YES! I agree 100%. There are a tonne of movies and television shows we don't let our 12 year old son watch. Why? they're simply inappropriate...mostly the graphic sexual content and other inappropriate topics at hand.

We just say NO and that's the end of it. We keep reminding him that when he turns 17 he'll be able to watch whatever he wants and he'll have lots to catch up on However if he wants to continue to push, we'll simply not have anything and that'll be the end of it.
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#76 of 127 Old 08-31-2007, 05:48 PM
 
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Another suggestion, somewhat NVC (www.cnvc.org). You could tell him that you aren't comfortable with him watching those shows just as you wouldn't be comfortable with the TV characters/situations being real and in your livingroom.
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#77 of 127 Old 08-31-2007, 11:59 PM
 
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You could tell him that you aren't comfortable with him watching those shows just as you wouldn't be comfortable with the TV characters/situations being real and in your livingroom.
Not picking on you but I have heard that before somewhere, and I am not sure I understand. I have enjoyed a variety of movies and TV shows that feature situations I'd never want to be involved in. CSI is, in my opinion, a really well acted show (well, the original anyway...lol) with lots of drama, dialogue, and twists and turns. I would be pretty irritated if the whole show was happening at my house though. Doing an autopsy in my living room would be pretty wrong to say the least... so does that mean we shouldn't enjoy the acting or the story?

Perhaps I am missing the point of the suggestion.

What about old Hitchcock stuff? Or Anne of Green Gables? Discovery channel even features stuff about disease and the History channel features some not so bright spots from the past. (WW II ?) It's informative and factual (one would hope anyway...) but not always something you'd want happening around you or in your home. Does that mean you shouldn't view it?

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#78 of 127 Old 09-01-2007, 02:20 AM
 
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Not picking on you but I have heard that before somewhere, and I am not sure I understand. I have enjoyed a variety of movies and TV shows that feature situations I'd never want to be involved in. CSI is, in my opinion, a really well acted show (well, the original anyway...lol) with lots of drama, dialogue, and twists and turns. I would be pretty irritated if the whole show was happening at my house though. Doing an autopsy in my living room would be pretty wrong to say the least... so does that mean we shouldn't enjoy the acting or the story?

Perhaps I am missing the point of the suggestion.

What about old Hitchcock stuff? Or Anne of Green Gables? Discovery channel even features stuff about disease and the History channel features some not so bright spots from the past. (WW II ?) It's informative and factual (one would hope anyway...) but not always something you'd want happening around you or in your home. Does that mean you shouldn't view it?
I guess that probably would work better with her objections to Family Guy. For CSI and other crime shows, she might tell him she's concerned about him (frequently) watching shows that have a murder in every episode, making it look like there is more crime than there is in real life.
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#79 of 127 Old 09-01-2007, 01:22 PM
 
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From someone who used to restrict TV and now does not....

I agree w/unschoolinma and others who have expressed similar views. I think our kids can be trusted with a lot more than we give them credit for, esp when parents remain involved. That said, my 11 yo is not interested in the shows OP has mentioned, but he has seen some R rated movies and plays some M rated video games. The one thing I do not allow is for him to talk on the xbox live mic until his voice changes. 8 yo ds plays xbox and has seen pg13 movies, yet he prefers more youthful games on Gamecube or his DS. He loves Disney Channel. I think the kids really can be trusted to distinguish reality from fiction, which I did not believe when my oldest was younger. He has turned into a wonderful young man, and not due to my earlier restriction on his media, I believe. He just had to work harder to get listened to by me and dh. Some may interpret this as nagging, but I see it as a child expressing his needs/desires (he also remained respectful of my fears when doing this) and having a parent that would listen. I hated while growing up when my parents would simply "lay down the law" without discussion, as if I had nothing of value to say. Made me more obsessed with "freedom" when I got older and made me want to get out of the house sooner. Not what I want for my kids.

I have found that since I have lightened up, there is very little desire for the younger kids to watch/play things that make *me* uncomfortable with their watching it. Lots more openess and trust all the way around.
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#80 of 127 Old 09-01-2007, 02:45 PM
 
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I have the parental controls on my tv BECAUSE my children have proven to me they cannot be trusted

My older kids are 13 and almost 17 and they will put on House(which I love) or CSI among other things when the little ones who are in the room.

My 4 year old is scared of the Harry Potter ads for goodness sake..she is so sensitive.

They have their own televisions and can watch pretty much whatever they want at the age they are at now as long as it doesn`t become all they do.

I kind of just play it by ear with the kids. They are all different, some more sensitive than others. My oldest LOVES scary movies, my 13 year old won`t watch them.

The little ones watch dvds and treehouse mainly.

BTW...my experience is that when my older kids were pre teen they were very mature and we did discuss tv and what I thought they should or shouldn`t watch and they pretty much made wise decisions. When they hit their teens, that changed, particularly with my oldest.

and I am totally against censorship...but I think I have the right to choose for myself and my family until my family are mature enough to decide for themselves. It`s not like the movie goes away. My 13 year wanted to see 8 Mile when seh was younger and I said no. She recently watched it and was ready for it I believe. I asked her, should you have watched that when you were 8 or 9, do you think it`s ok for `V` (my neice) to watch and she agreed it was too much for her.

anyway..I have to run but I am enjoying this discussion.
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#81 of 127 Old 09-01-2007, 05:16 PM
 
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Dd watched 8 Mile when she was 11 or so I think. She found it really interesting. Much before that though and I think she'd have been both bored with it in places and embarrased in others.

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#82 of 127 Old 09-01-2007, 10:24 PM
 
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I am on the side of restricting TV. I don't like my 3 yo watching Power Rangers, Ying Yang Yo, Billy and Mandy and a whole lot of others. I don't know why, I just don't. He will never watch The Simpsons while he's living in my house no matter how old he is.

Kids pick up things off of tv, that's why my son and another I know say "ah, man" from Dora the Explorer.

Now I do have a teenager in the house and he has his own tv in his room, which I never liked but since he's my DH's child and not mine that was not one battle I didn't wanted to continue to fight. When he watches tv in the living room, anything he watches has to be G rated, okay for the kids to watch. Needless to say he doesn't watch much here, he'd rather go to his room. And BTW a year ago or so he made the transition from watching TV alot to being online alot. He'd rather be playing Rune Scape than watch TV. Your son might do the same. Which, by the way you can also block websites by keywords: sex, boobs, kill, etc.

About restricting TV, we have cable and cable boxes on all the tv's in the house so that I can block any channel I want. I can block by channel, by tv rating, or by time. The TV my 3 yo watches is blocked all the time so if he wants to watch something I have to put in a pin number for him to watch just that show or just that channel or anything for a specific time range. The little booger new how to turn on the tv a long time ago. Your satellite company should have something like that, or maybe your tv does. Every show has a rating so call your satellite company they might have a suggestion for you. And that'll enforce your decision and prevent "sneaking" a unapproved show in.
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#83 of 127 Old 09-01-2007, 11:20 PM
 
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Now I do have a teenager in the house and he has his own tv in his room, which I never liked but since he's my DH's child and not mine that was not one battle I didn't wanted to continue to fight. When he watches tv in the living room, anything he watches has to be G rated, okay for the kids to watch. Needless to say he doesn't watch much here, he'd rather go to his room. And BTW a year ago or so he made the transition from watching TV alot to being online alot. He'd rather be playing Rune Scape than watch TV. Your son might do the same. Which, by the way you can also block websites by keywords: sex, boobs, kill, etc.
I think I would rather a teenager watch TV with the family than in a room by himself. Then at least you would know what he is watching and could talk about it. Also going off to his room all the time by himself probably makes him feel like his not part of the family. Especially with you calling him your "DH's child" as opposed to your stepson.
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#84 of 127 Old 09-01-2007, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have discoverred Runescape. Both Ds and DH play it - it is cool with me.

I know you do not think you have a say in whether stepson has a TV in his room (and maybe you don't) but with regards to the other children, I would not allow Tv or computers* to go into their rooms.

We only have 1 TV and I love it!!! Yes, Ds is a naggy little guy...but there are 5 people in this household, so, at most, Ds is entitled to TV 1/5 of the time. It is a naturally occuring boundary, yk? Much better than the control issue mommy-kind.

Kathy

* I would try to make a case for removing the computer from the bedroom for safety reasons (cyber-bullying, internet predators, gaming, porn, etc). Perhaps you could suggest a compromise with DH - TV in stepsons room, but no Computer? IMHO 14 is too young to have a computer in a non-public space.
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#85 of 127 Old 09-02-2007, 03:54 PM
 
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We've had no problem with TV's and computers in rooms here. My son has both in his room, and Dd has a TV in her room often. It works well for us because we can all watch what we are interested in if different shows come on at the same time, ya know?

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#86 of 127 Old 09-02-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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We've had no problem with TV's and computers in rooms here. My son has both in his room, and Dd has a TV in her room often. It works well for us because we can all watch what we are interested in if different shows come on at the same time, ya know?
Same here. Although DD does not have satellite in her room. She does however watch CSI and other shows over the air with an antenna. She also has her DVD player and picks movies from DH's huge collection of movies. Since we have no "adult" type movies.. she is free to watch any of the movies she wants. (there are plenty of R rated ones.) She also has a laptop that she uses in her room, or where ever the mood strikes her.
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#87 of 127 Old 09-02-2007, 07:15 PM
 
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I don't know why, I just don't.
This is going to be a tricky position to maintain in the future unless you are training your children to never challenge or question you.

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He will never watch The Simpsons while he's living in my house no matter how old he is.
Is the Simpsons the epitome of all that is evil in the world? Have I missed something? All the children in our house leap onto the sofa Simpson-style at 6pm and we all love watching it.

We have only 1 tv in the house and I don't want the boys to be in their room watching tv on their own: I would rather they argue over what to watch here where I can see them! Also having only 1 tv somewhat limits how much they watch because they have to negotiate with each other, their sister and us.
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#88 of 127 Old 09-03-2007, 12:16 AM
 
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LOL I just had to giggle because we are watching Simpsons right now. Bart is such a turkey.

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#89 of 127 Old 09-03-2007, 12:50 PM
 
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Those who say they had unrestricted tv as kids...OK, I did too..BUT TV was a waayy different animal when I was a kid (70's) I mean it got as violent as 6 Million Dollar Man and Starsky and Hutch. The other day I turned on CSI (I think) and there was a mutilated woman corpse wrapped in packing tape who they found out freqented a sex club.
Now WHY would I want my 11 yr old to see that? That it waay different than watching Steve Austin throw someone across the room in slo-mo.
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#90 of 127 Old 09-03-2007, 01:06 PM
 
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...except that I didn't have unrestricted TV. We had one in the living room and one in my folks' bedroom. I didn't have a TV in my room unless I was home sick from school, and then it was the 6" B&W from my folks' room, or, after we finally got a color TV and VCR for the livingroom in 1984, I got that old B&W. When I was a Junior in HS in 1986, they finally let me have it (old livingroom B&W) in my room full-time, but I didn't watch it much, especially after I had to start whacking it on one side to get the tube to work. They still have that TV, and it still works after you whack it a few times.

I didn't really want to watch much that my folks didn't already. The Cosby Show, Murder She Wrote, some cartoons (esp. Bugs Bunny/Road Runner), The Dukes of Hazzard, Charlie's Angels, Love Boat, Fantasy Island, and Knight Rider were all family favorites, and a whole heck of a lot tamer that much of what's on TV today.

...and FTR, my folks *still* don't have cable, and may never get it, unless/until it becomes necessary to get the signal. The area I lived in didn't get cable until I was in 8th grade or so, and then only one of my friends had it. We did watch a few movies on it that our folks might not have let us - Still Smokin', Friday the 13th, and a few others of those types, but we were 13yo and older.
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