inappropriate TV? WWYD? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 127 Old 09-05-2007, 12:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
: I'm not sure about the "well into their teens" part, but I recall watching 3 things specifically that *really* upset me for years and years.

Not to get OT, but my friend's young teen watched a Beheading on Youtube (I forget who it was, I think the contractor guy in Iraq....I personally wouldn't watch). Anyway, it has FREAKED HIM OUT, poor kid.

And seriously, not to hijack the thread (I should do a spinoff post), but how do you handle it when a child has seen something - whether on TV or the internet - that haunts and horrifies them?
You talk about it. Talk makes everything better. You do not want keep your child from expereincing those things which matter to her. Putting your fear agenda on your child is going to have negative consequences-- your child will think you do not trust them to know what they need. Just because watching a fake rape or real beheading on TV is upsetting to you does not mean it's going to be upsetting to your child. Parental concern s one thing.. share that concern, but it's not up to you to tell your child what is right for her...only she knows what that is.

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#122 of 127 Old 09-05-2007, 05:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Meg Murry. View Post
and there's no question that it interferes with homework and studying.
Actually I would question that. My kids did attend school for a time (Ds the longest) and TV was never a problem when it came to homework. It's not for my friend's kids either who are ages 10 and almost 12.

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Bottom line, there is not much reason to watch television, IMHO, especially not when it's inappropriate or violent. It separates people from each other; it prevents families from talking to teach other in a sustained way...I could go on and on.
I think there are plenty of reasons to watch TV not the least of which is that people enjoy it. So much to learn, new things to hear about and see, and many conversations to be had. Rather than separating us from each other I think in many situations it has connected us.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#123 of 127 Old 09-05-2007, 07:49 AM
 
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Bottom line, there is not much reason to watch television, IMHO, especially not when it's inappropriate or violent. It separates people from each other; it prevents families from talking to teach other in a sustained way...I could go on and on.
You say that you can't see the appeal; are you tv free? We have been tv free for months at a time at various stages of our family life, sometimes because we had not tv but others because we decided to have a tv free week just for a change. We havve the radio on more often than the tv and our kitchen radio is permanently tuned to BBC Radio 4.

We share a lot of what we watch on tv and have had many, many fun times watching programmes together, in fact, we specifically seek out comedy and humour on tv because real-life news is pretty depressing at the best of times. We do watch news and informative programming too though and it often stimulates debate which can only be good. The radio is also a source of new ideas and perspectives and waht you hear can also sometimes be disturbing.

UUMom is right when she says that talking is the key; none of us is advocating shutting a teen in their room and forcing them to watch back to back CSI cut with war movies 24/7 and never talk to their family or eat or get outdoors every now and then. The tv is a window on the world and talking about what we see in the world is what humans do.

If you don't like what you see in the world then I can see that tv would be disturbing but I would suggest that it is perhaps over-cautious to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
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#124 of 127 Old 09-05-2007, 09:29 AM
 
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Just because watching a fake rape or real beheading on TV is upsetting to you does not mean it's going to be upsetting to your child. Parental concern s one thing.. share that concern, but it's not up to you to tell your child what is right for her...only she knows what that is.




I couldn't disagree with you more. I think watching a REAL beheading would be upsetting to almost anyone, and I know that it would be right for me to try to protect my child from this.
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#125 of 127 Old 09-05-2007, 10:17 AM
 
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I think watching a REAL beheading would be upsetting to almost anyone, and I know that it would be right for me to try to protect my child from this.

I agree with you.
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#126 of 127 Old 09-05-2007, 10:37 AM
 
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I agree with you.


Huh? I thought you said that they might not be upset by that and should therefore decide for themselves....???? (I'm summarizing, and realize those weren't your exact words).
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#127 of 127 Old 09-05-2007, 11:12 AM
 
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Huh? I thought you said that they might not be upset by that and should therefore decide for themselves....???? (I'm summarizing, and realize those weren't your exact words).
I was being a little snarky about this last night. I put that little after my post.

I am a parent who does not punish and I am very open with my kids about everything. We make decisions together...but sometimes I have said "Not healthy for you, cutie pie" to my small children. I call that excersing my right to be my authentic parental self. I would never negotiate over whether a 5 or 6 yr old could watch a beheading on YouTube. Once the images are there, they can never be un-there.

No amount of talking to a child about murder is going to make the image of blood spurting all over the place go away. They will be a part of her childhood-- and for some children this won't offer benefits. For some people what children witness in media doesn't matter...it's part of life. For me, it matters whether my small child grows up feeling somewhat safe in the world we live in. I don't see the point of panic and worry before you can tie your own shoes. I thank the heavens I don't live in a tent in Darfur and don't have to witness my children being gassed by Nazis.

So, ok, I am not good at snark and sarcasm sometimes. I don't feel comfortable with some things, and I won't say I am just because it's currently fashionable to not 'shelter' children from media. When I think of all the ridiculous parenting advice given in the past-- from Watson to SKinner etc etc., I have to roll my eyes. We won't know whether this current trend to raise children as though they had the judgement of fully grown adults is going to create emotionally healthy adults.

I have to continue to rely on *my* best judgement as a thoughtful parent. That means sometimes I am simply honest and say "No cutie pie, that's not something I think is healthy and will help you grow".

My kids will be able to identify their baggage "My mother said no sometimes", which will cut down the number of hours of therapy they will have to pay for.
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