My dsxh's last ex wife was a very ill person. She used to lie and tell me that my dd was lying about stuff like that. Things were bad between dexh and I, so she had it set up that her and I would talk about dd issues and would refuse to allow me to talk to him. If I left messages at work for him, he would accuse me of being disruptive and of causing trouble. So I was forced to deal with the step monster.
She would call me and tell that dd was telling her that I was taking baths with men and asking her to bring us beer while we were in the tub.
. and so on...So many awful lies you can't even believe it. I could not believe my dd would say such things!!! My dd told me she witnessed her dad trying to stuff food into his wife's mouth and pulling her by the hair to get her out of the bathroom because she was puking on purpose.
I was so so worried about my girl. Finally, Finally the truth came out. The step mother was lying!!!!
She was bulemic and very ill. My dexh did try to force feed her on more than one occation!!! He did try to keep her from throwing up, yes even to the point of trying to drag her from the bathroom by her hair.
She even told dd, when she was 8, that I had breast cancer and did not want to tell her, because I didn't want to worry dd. That she, stepmother, only thought it fair that someone tell dd. But not to mention it to me, as then they both would get into trouble. Poor dd thought I had cancer for a long time before she asked.
So, first I would make sure that it is you dd that is lying.
And no it does not sound ok. I mean I think kids who live in two homes all do a bit of this, but she does not sound like she is doing well. I would loving suggest help for all of you. If your dexh would agree to doing some family therapy, I think that is what saved my dd. She had counselling, I had counselling, her dad divorced, and we all have been to therapy together.
She has wanted the exstepmother to come to counselling with her two, but she will not. She admitted the truth, and that is the most she can do.
I will hold you all in my heart.
P.s. My dd is not the most motivated person in the world. I get frustrated by this frequently. She really would rather lay around and read all day.