Things you never thought you'd say to your children - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 47 Old 10-25-2007, 10:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, I'll start:

1. Put that fire out!

2. Stop choking your sister.

3. Where did that highway sign come from?

4. No, you can't show off your penis right now.

Anybody else have any good ones?
Lissa
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#2 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 02:13 AM
 
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"Well, it depends on how much damage you do to the canoe and how many people you run over." (This was part of my response to my 15yo son after he asked me how much trouble he'd get into if he rode a canoe down the escalator at Dick's Sporting Goods.) I then reminded him that he'd also have to tell his Dad. my DS replied "Yeah, I think about that often."
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#3 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 02:18 AM
 
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"I'm not going to hold you until you put your pants on."

Trish: Mama to Buckaroo , Sweet P :, and Obo Difficult wife of Rick :
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#4 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 02:19 AM
 
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Please dont stick your finger there (when both kids noticed the cat had a butt)

 
SAHMlady.gifread.giflovin' trekkie.giffan intactivist.gifwinner.jpg to loveeyes.gifenergy.gifDD 10/00 & superhero.gifmoon.gifDS 10/04 ribbonpb.gifIf your ds is intact, keep him safe, visit the Case Against Circ forumnocirc.gifCirc, a personal choice, Your sonsyes.gifbrokenheart.gif11/98brokenheart.gif6/99ribbonbrown.gifanti-tobaccoribbonyellow.gifThyroid cancer survivor. With cat.gif& goldfish.gif & (Boxer)dog2.gif wishing 4 whale.gif&ribbonwhite.gifsigncirc1.gifselectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gif

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#5 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 08:32 AM
 
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My son was acting up about three years ago and I'd had just about enough of it. I finally got to the point where I told him I needed him to go to his room and I was going to mine and I wasn't gonna deal with anything else until his Daddy came home.

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#6 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 09:16 AM
 
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To my teen: "Well you know what they say about men with big feet?"....ds has huge feet and he's a jokester..so he craked up when he heard the punch to that one. i never thought i would say that to him..however here lately we talk alot about diferent things.

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#7 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 01:25 PM
 
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"Who pooped in your closet?"
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#8 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 01:46 PM
 
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"because I'm the mom"

I was at the end of my rope :0

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#9 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 01:49 PM
 
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"stop duct taping your brother to the wall"

"please stop playing with my pads" (to my then 13 yr old ds)
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#10 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 02:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
"Who pooped in your closet?"
laughup

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#11 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 03:42 PM
 
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"In your world, I am god".

"Why is there maple syrup on the cat?"

"Who put the frog in the laundry?"

"DON'T lick the floor in McDonalds!!"

"I don't care what you are doing with the hammer and nails. Just don't wake us up before dawn"
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#12 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 04:03 PM
 
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"Should I show you how to put on eyeliner, son?"
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#13 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 04:36 PM
 
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"We don't eat walls."
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#14 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 04:41 PM
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OMG- I love this thread
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#15 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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Okay, I'm a flake and just realized this thread is in the preteen/teen section. I said, "We don't eat walls to my 2yo." Hopefully I won't have to say it again in 10 years.
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#16 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 06:17 PM
 
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No, you may NOT ride your bike off Esteban's roof into the pool!!!!!
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#17 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 06:59 PM
 
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This thread has me cracking up

"Because I said so"

I'm sure there are lots more b/c my 14 year old is always saying "mom" gasp "I can't believe you just said that" I will try to remember them.

Keep 'em coming!
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#18 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 07:25 PM
 
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baby nap-snacking
pain -- not being able to laugh out loud
:
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#19 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stinkerbell View Post
"In your world, I am god".

"Why is there maple syrup on the cat?"

"Who put the frog in the laundry?"

"DON'T lick the floor in McDonalds!!"

"I don't care what you are doing with the hammer and nails. Just don't wake us up before dawn"
OMG, I'm dying with laughter! Those are great!
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#20 of 47 Old 10-26-2007, 11:50 PM
 
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"From now on can we please start all fires away from the cat!"

We giggle a bit because the kids' stories often start with things like:

"So I was throwing pizza at...." or "So we were swordfighting with rakes..."

Or recently I asked Ds "Can you see my boobs through this shirt?"

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#21 of 47 Old 10-27-2007, 09:18 AM
 
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"Because I said so." I know, I know. That's a terrible thing to say but sometimes you just get tired. :

"Those are mommy diapers, just like your diapers
." I was referring to my Kotex when my oldest son was 4 and found them.

__________________________________
46-year-old single (divorced), self-employed working, home schooling, part-time college student mommy to:

19 yr old
12 yr old
4 yr old
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#22 of 47 Old 10-27-2007, 01:34 PM
 
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No, you can't say that your teacher is hot...that's like saying your best friend's sister is hot. Gross!

Pre-pubescent boys...:
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#23 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 08:21 AM
 
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Love this thread!
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#24 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 09:38 AM
 
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"Can you please show me how to use the backspace key when I am texting"

"please stop stealing my Victoria's Secret bras, if you want one, tell me and I'll get it for you"

"Can I borrow your MAC lip gloss"
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#25 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 02:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roche View Post
"If you want to set your alarm for 5am, fine, but YOU are responsible for turning it off."
AH! We have this conversation with dd all the time!

Trish: Mama to Buckaroo , Sweet P :, and Obo Difficult wife of Rick :
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#26 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 02:49 PM
 
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Things my mom said:

Why are you drinking the hummingbird food I just made?

Why is there a beer bottle in your closet?

The condoms are mine and daddy's. Put them back!

Married to a wonderful man and we have 1 adorable baby girl (8/30/2010) and 2 furbabies.
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#27 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 02:52 PM
 
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Just yesterday
NO you can not use the ceiling fan to make an amusement park swing ride.:
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#28 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 04:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maya44 View Post
"Can you please show me how to use the backspace key when I am texting"

"Can I borrow your MAC lip gloss"
I have said very similar things! LOL

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
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#29 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 06:49 PM
 
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No, you may not put peanut butter an jelly sandwiches in the VCR.

You may not use my kitchen aide mixer to make mud pies.

Do not pee in the sandbox.

You are a girl, you have to sit to pee.

Stay out of my lingerie. You may not borrow it to wear to the club's fetish night. It is mine.

Goodbye... at my daughter's grave....

:
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#30 of 47 Old 10-28-2007, 08:40 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DragonflyBlue View Post
Goodbye... at my daughter's grave....
If your post hit me like a ton of bricks, I can't imagine how it hit you. That is truely something you never thought you would say.. .

Married to a wonderful man and we have 1 adorable baby girl (8/30/2010) and 2 furbabies.
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