12 yr old son broke big screen tv- WWYD? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Our 12 yr old ds broke another family member's 60 in big screen tv at a family gathering. He was playing video games w/ his 6 yr old cousin and he hit the screen w/ a game controller.

He feels horrible about it, and we assured him that we understand it was an accident. However, we (his dad and I) need to replace (or repair, depending upon the extent of the damages) the tv immediately and we'll need to find money from savings to try and do this.

This happened last nite and we said we could talk about it after school today, as it was emotional last night when this happened. I think we should have him do extra jobs around our house to help earn money, and he has about $100 in his savings account that he was saving for a gaming system of the same type! We're also thinking that he should stay away from video games on the computer until he's earned enough to replace or repair this relative's tv.

He can still use the computer for school work and email, just not video games. What experiences/ideas can anyone else share?
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#2 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:00 PM
 
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Do you or the other family have home owner's insurance? That covers accidents like this. Then you and your son would only have to cover the deductable...

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#3 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:03 PM
 
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Wow. I've never had that happen...and I have a tendency to believe that in those situations we self-correct or punish pretty intensely. I would take his savings to help pay and get him to earn money at home and probably not take away the video games but give strict time limit???? We don't do video games but children are so sensitive and tender when they really screw up accidentally. They usually screw up enough on purpose!! Be compassionate, put yourself in his shoes.....GOOD LUCK!
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#4 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:08 PM
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Did he throw the controller at the TV?

Not to long ago my oldest broke my other childs gameboy in anger. She was also stealing money from me to buy extra food at school. I had her use her allowance ($5/week) to cover the cost of it. If it weren't for the stealing, I wouldn't have had her pay back the entire amount.

Kara, single mom of 4 girls (5, 8, 16 and 19) crochetsmilie.gif
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#5 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Did he throw the controller at the TV?

He was playing the Wii (??) system with the game controllers in hand and swung at the tv during a tennis game.

He was standing about 18 in from the tv when it happened because my ds had moved all the family room furntiure to make a fort structure. It was poor judgment to stand less than 2 ft from the tv and swing his arms. He said he understood he was too close but he was having fun and didn't think he would hit the tv if he was careful!
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#6 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:20 PM
 
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We're also thinking that he should stay away from video games on the computer until he's earned enough to replace or repair this relative's tv.


I don't think he should be punished for an accident. He's taking responsibility by helping to pay for the TV.
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#7 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:28 PM
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Reconsider letting him play video games while he earns the money to pay the replacement cost. It was an accident and he's trying to make it right. Why heap it on? Also, ask the homeowners to look into using homeowners insurance if possible.
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#8 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:29 PM
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And to add:





to MDC!
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#9 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:38 PM
 
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I think having to pay for the TV repair/replacement is enough as it was an accident.
I wouldn't take away video games because of it. He already feels bad and is trying to pay for it. Taking away video games is overkill.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#10 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xmenmommy View Post
Did he throw the controller at the TV?

He was playing the Wii (??) system with the game controllers in hand and swung at the tv during a tennis game.

He was standing about 18 in from the tv when it happened because my ds had moved all the family room furntiure to make a fort structure. It was poor judgment to stand less than 2 ft from the tv and swing his arms. He said he understood he was too close but he was having fun and didn't think he would hit the tv if he was careful!
I knew it would be a Wii. LOL, even with the wrist strap on, I have managed to throw the controller at the TV twice, and I whacked the cat a good one on accident once. He was mad at me for a very. long. time.

I wonder about homeowners insurance as well. What a bummer for your DS, and you! Just wanted to offer some sympathy.
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#11 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 07:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the advice everyone. I'll talk w/ my husband first, then when we sit down as a three-some to talk this evening, I think we'll let him know that as long as he'll willing to take on some extra jobs around the house to help w/ the cost, the video games will still be around as well.

Since we have 4 boys (12, 3 yr old twins and 1 yr) I know this is just the beginning. Oh my....
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#12 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 09:11 PM
 
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Him offering to help pay for repairs is a very thoughtful option if you are all comfy with that.

Quote:
We're also thinking that he should stay away from video games on the computer until he's earned enough to replace or repair this relative's tv.

He can still use the computer for school work and email, just not video games.
I don't see any value in that at all. What purpose would it serve?

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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#13 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 09:12 PM
 
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And that's what I get for not reading all the way before posting LOL

Glad to see you found a resolution that works for you all.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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#14 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 09:22 PM
 
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You know that system has caused a decent amount of damage due to it's design, stories like this are pretty common. I personally wouldn't blame him for it. It was an accident. If he had intentionally thrown the controller in a fit of anger that would be different.
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#15 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 09:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arduinna View Post
You know that system has caused a decent amount of damage due to it's design, stories like this are pretty common. I personally wouldn't blame him for it. It was an accident. If he had intentionally thrown the controller in a fit of anger that would be different.
ITA, but I don't really think OP is blaming, but helping her child take responsibility for his actions.

I vote for help pay for the TV, but not take away his video games or whatever since it wasn't a deliberate act.
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#16 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 10:21 PM
 
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Totally an accident brought on by a stupid game design. Maybe have him pay half and don't let him buy a Wii. Him feeling bad is more than punishment enough.
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#17 of 42 Old 11-05-2007, 10:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post
I think having to pay for the TV repair/replacement is enough as it was an accident.
I wouldn't take away video games because of it. He already feels bad and is trying to pay for it. Taking away video games is overkill.
ITA.
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#18 of 42 Old 11-06-2007, 12:56 AM
 
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I would never punish anyone for an accident, and I like your solution. It never seems to end - we just helped buy a new Nintendo DS for my dd's boyfriend. DD is away at college, and accidentally swept it down off a lofted bed when she grabbed her coat. She didn't have a spare $130 around, so we funded her to replace it immediately. I can only imagine how your son must feel breaking a TV! Poor guy.
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#19 of 42 Old 11-06-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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And if you want to make your son feel better (let him know he's not alone in his accidental distruction), check out this site:

http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/


Good luck! Jill
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#20 of 42 Old 11-06-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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[QUOTE=Dana Hoffman;9640954]Do you or the other family have home owner's insurance? That covers accidents like this. Then you and your son would only have to cover the deductable...


Their insurance premiums would go up if they filed a claim. I would feel bad asking.
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#21 of 42 Old 11-06-2007, 01:11 PM
 
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I am hearing about so many tv's broken due to Wii's..and my Mom got DS one for Christmas... Uh oh.
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#22 of 42 Old 11-07-2007, 11:31 PM
 
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[QUOTE=Bellejar;9644727]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dana Hoffman View Post
Do you or the other family have home owner's insurance? That covers accidents like this. Then you and your son would only have to cover the deductable...


Their insurance premiums would go up if they filed a claim. I would feel bad asking.
Yeah that.
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#23 of 42 Old 11-08-2007, 04:04 AM
 
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I would make him pay for it but that is it. I would also help him understand a few adults have made the same mistake. Did these Wii remotes have the strap on them. If not then it is partially their fault.
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#24 of 42 Old 11-08-2007, 01:25 PM
 
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The strap has to be adjusted snugly around the wrist to work at all. Personally I think they should have a velcro wrist strap. OP, I think having him help pay it off but not removing the games is good, as others have mentioned.

Fellow mom of 4 boys and wii owner,
Amy
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#25 of 42 Old 11-08-2007, 02:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamahart View Post
I would take his savings to help pay and get him to earn money at home and probably not take away the video games but give strict time limit????
I agree.

Video games aren't played in our house often at all, maybe 1-2x per year. But when they are they aren't played for long, always a time limit.

Did your son throw the controller at the t.v. on purpose? If not, then how one earth did a small controller damage a t.v. that big without any force being put behind it? That seems odd to me. I have a 12 yr old and at that age they are usually a little more responsible than that. I could see my 5 yr old causing damage like that but not my almost teen son.

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#26 of 42 Old 11-08-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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The wii games are very interactive and require big sweeping player gestures for game play. The controller has gone flying in many cases with players young and old from what I hear.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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#27 of 42 Old 11-08-2007, 05:23 PM
 
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Those Wiis are dangerous I wouldn't punish him at all, just have him help pay, extra chores for a couple weeks to pay you back or something.

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
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#28 of 42 Old 11-09-2007, 02:37 PM
 
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When dd was learning how to walk she got hit in the head with the stupid Wii controller more times than I care to admit. I think you've come up with a fair solution, helping to pay for it.
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#29 of 42 Old 11-09-2007, 03:48 PM
 
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It was obviously an accident. He did not mean to break the tv. I would have him do extra jobs around the house to help pay for it, and I would take his money from savings. That would teach accountability, even if it was an accident. If we run a red light and cause an accident, we have to pay the damages to any other car(s) involved, even if we didn't mean it. However, I would NOT restrict his gaming since it was an accident, and not intentional. If we purposly threw the controller at the tv, that would be a totally different story. We generally do not loose our drivers licenses for first infractions that were not intentional (intentional being a dui or severe speeding) or whatever.
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#30 of 42 Old 11-09-2007, 03:55 PM
 
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I agree with him paying for the repair. And most of whats been said so far.
Its for this exact reason that we hooked our Wii up to our old TV, set up in the play room. Its a system that was designed to get people off the couch.. why would it make sense to put this in a livingroom? Would you put a ping pong table in your livingroom?
It think because it is a video game system, most people don't think much about it, but its a different kind of gaming system, therefore requires a different kind of area to be played in.
Accidents happen all the time, no one is to blame, but lessons are to be learned.
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