I need help!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 08-20-2003, 09:35 PM - Thread Starter
LittlebitsMommy's Avatar
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I feel like I am the worst mom ever. Let me start by saying I have 3 kids. Bec 13, Skyler 8 and Dakota 3 (who is still BF) I am married to a wonderful man for 14 years. I am a SAHM.
Okay here is my problem. Skyler my 8 year old son. I am not sure what it going on with him. I have tried everything. He is seeing a doctor about his temper and anger. He is now taking 10 mg of Lexapro. He was on Luvox 200 mg for a few month. They started him out on Zoloft and it cause chest pain. None of this is working. He is still as bad as ever.
We were at the store the other night and he started to hit Bec and my DH grabbed his arm right before he hit her. Skyler then fell on the floor like Steve had thrown him down and started screaming and hollering. I have never been on to spank but then I was so fixing to spank his butt. I knew then I would probably have the cops called on me. I told him to get in the cart and sit til we left. He kept telling me How I didn't love him and it was not fair that Bec was born first. We love her more. I could not beleive he said that to me. He knows I love him just as much. He is fine as long as he has me or DH 1 on 1. But if it is not his way he will throw a fit like a 2 year old. I don't like him hitting on Bec but she can pretty much take up for herself. Well now he is taking out all his anger on Dakota who is 3 and I know he can not completely defend himself. He never actually hits him,but he is always saying Kota you better stop before I hurt you. Then Sky will tell Mom you better tell him to stop before I hit and hurt him bad.

I don't want you to think he is a bad kid. Because he is not. He is such a sweet and loving little boy. I just wish I could get a hold of that sweet little boy that I know he is. And that I see sometimes. But not as often as I use to.

I am just so worried about him and feel like such a failure. I feel like I am the worst mom ever. We can't go anywhere with out him acting out. He has a bad mouth to. And thinks it is funny to get Kota to say words he should not. So Kota will get in trouble.

I really would like some advise. BUt please don't talk bad about him. I just want to know if anyone else has went through this. Am I doing the right thing by taking him to the doctor. Does anyone know anything about this medicine he is taking.

I am just at the end of my ropes with this. I don't feel like I am being a good mother to my other 2 either because I am always having to get onto Sky for something.

Well it is getting time to get ready for bed and I know that is going to be a real fight. Skyler doesn't understand why he has to go to bed earlier than Bec.

What can I do different to make all this better.

I am sorry this got so long and I didn't mean to sound like I am gripping. I love all three of my children equally. They are my whole life. I can't imagine my life without them. I just want what is best for them
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#2 of 2 Old 08-21-2003, 12:12 AM
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Sorry I don't have any advice I just wanted to tell you that I don't think you're a bad mama! You sound like a very loving mama that is in tune to her children and is trying to help them the best she can!

Could Sky be acting out because of Kota? Has something happened in his/the family's life recently, around the time of these outbursts? I do know that in my childhood family, the middle child of 3, my brother, had it hardest of all. At least it seemed that way. He was always in trouble it seemed.

I don't know much about the drugs. Isn't Zoloft for depression? Is his dr. treating him for depression?

Does he get 1 on 1 time with you and dh? Is it possible to make a date with him (and eventually the other children too.) and either you or dh once a week or month? Either of you could take him to a movie or whatever. That way he would have the parent all to himself.

Just throwing some ideas out there for ya. Hope I didn't offend you. You also might want to cross post this in Parenting Issues because it gets a little more traffic and you might get more responses.
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