Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
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I sucked my thumb until age 5 or so, when I promptly began biting my fingernails- which I continued to do through adulthood. Now I pick at my nails instead of biting them.
Some people just have stronger oral fixations than others. It could be a sign of a sensory issue- but if she's otherwise well adjusted I'd call it a "quirk" no matter what the underlying reason is for the thumb sucking.
I would never say "don't hang out with her because she sucks her thumb". Nor am I a big fan of restricting teenager's friendships in general. If I see my child getting mistreated by a peer, I work with my child to establish boundaries that she can set with her friends in order to protect herself. I will step in and take more direct action if I feel the need- but so far that hasn't come up.
I'd talk to your DD about how this girl interacts with her. If it's a healthy interaction, then there's nothing to worry about. If you see some unhealthy things in their interaction, then talk to your daughter when the friend isnt' around, and help her develop strategies for setting limits with this other girl.
Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults