not sure what to do......... - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 38 Old 04-18-2008, 09:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
hvl25's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 1,982
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mels View Post
I am most curious if you found these girls or not. Also I think I would tell my son that if these girls are so wiiling to promote their bodies for free, it stands to reason they have been there before with other guys. Just a thought to communicate to our boys.
I did find the parents. The mother of the girl that sent the pic thanked me over and over again for letting her know about this. I guess her dd is the head of the church youth group, etc and her mom was very concerned she was sending photos like this.

The second mom couldn't believe her daughter would do it and said she didn't think her daughter even knew what that stuff was. So I left it at that. She thanked me for calling but I don't think much came of it.
hvl25 is offline  
#32 of 38 Old 04-19-2008, 01:55 AM
 
emelsea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 598
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Holy Cow! My DSS turns 14 this week, and I was considering getting him a new phone for his birthday. He currently has the bare-bones model: no texting, no camera, no internet, doesn't receive pictures, etc.

He's been so responsible with the minutes he's alloted, and with taking care of the phone that I thought we'd upgrade him.

After reading this, I think we'll just let him keep his old phone. I'll upgrade his sneakers or something.
emelsea is offline  
#33 of 38 Old 04-19-2008, 09:57 AM
 
mtiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
I would have talked to my son first and then tried to find out who the girls were and their parents. I don't think I would have taken the approach that you took. That could be a good way to get your son to really dislike you and go do something behind your back just out of spite. Unless you want to be a grandma in the next year or two I'd have more communication with him, or better yet, take his phone away. Does a 14 yr old really need a phone?

That would be like talking to a brick wall in most instances! Don't you remember being a teenager? They could care less at that age who has done what sexually. The hormones are working in them too much to care.
You'd be surprised. A lot of teens DO care and DO NOT want to be involved with teens who're promiscuous.

Pooh-pooh all you want that they're just shining everyone on, but consider that your viewpoint is as much of a stereotype as any other that says "all" of a certain group are doing/thinking something. That's pretty disrespectful, IMO.
mtiger is offline  
#34 of 38 Old 04-19-2008, 02:46 PM
 
Freud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Crazytown
Posts: 1,221
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Breeder View Post
To me the natural consequence is if you can't use electronics responsibly you will not have them.

I'd take away the cell phone and consider moving his pc into a family area or if that is not possible lock out myspace and other sites that promote this kind of exchange. Heck, if my employer can do it, I'm sure a parent can.
I think taking away the cell phone is a logical consequence, but not a natural one. The natural consequence is that someone finds the phone and sees the pictures (which did happen).

I agree with previous posters that the best thing to do is to talk to him about it, not to punish him.
Freud is offline  
#35 of 38 Old 04-19-2008, 06:41 PM
Ok
 
Ok's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,670
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I like the compromise to let him keep the phone w/o the text-picture-camera option.

Parenting is work, and some adults are better at it than others. Some parents need help. I want to know if you have knowledge about activities my child is up to that I'm unaware of. A parent who *doesn't* want to know is neglecting their child, and unfortunately making the job of teachers, ministers and other parents so much more difficult b/c of their benign neglect.

I would definitely talk to my own child, and I might even talk with the other child. My talk would be along the lines of "acceptable behavior in my house-- w/ my son's cell phone being an extension of my house." Just b/c a child is 14 (instead of 4) doesn't mean my house doesn't have rules. Too many parents have stopped parenting young teens strongly enough.
Ok is offline  
#36 of 38 Old 04-19-2008, 10:59 PM
 
onelilguysmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,606
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommy68 View Post
...

That would be like talking to a brick wall in most instances! Don't you remember being a teenager? They could care less at that age who has done what sexually. The hormones are working in them too much to care.


the first part was really rude but this part is incredibly insulting. just because some teens are like that doesnt mean all or even most are. i just turned 21 and well..eew. no way did i ever not care except when my childrens father cheated but thats different as it has been a very long term thing and a lot of women stay during and after to work through it.

wow.
onelilguysmommy is offline  
#37 of 38 Old 04-20-2008, 01:23 AM
Banned
 
MillingNome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: hunting in Gilead
Posts: 6,414
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by my2kidz View Post
Well if it was me personally, I would let him keep the cell phone but cancel the text and picture services. If anything it should save you 10 bucks and give you piece of mind that it won't happen again. And he'll still have the phone for communication/emergency needs.
:

it strikes a middle ground.
MillingNome is offline  
#38 of 38 Old 04-20-2008, 10:08 AM
 
Stinkerbell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: South of Boston
Posts: 1,773
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hvl25 View Post
i don't think i have ever posted here before, but i have no idea what to do. i had a feeling tonight to check my sons cell phone. he has a "girlfriend", he is almost 14. well i started reading his texts and i found a pic of one of his female friends breasts on it and she was asking him to send her pics of his "package" as she called it. then another girl was texting him asking him what he wanted her to do and he answered back to suck his ****. i about flipped. i texted the two girls back and told them that i would be letting their parents know what types of things they were doing at midnight. one girl appologized and said my son wasn't the victim they were both at fault, which i said was true. the other one taunted me telling me i didn't know her parents or her phone number and to have fun trying to find it out. so what would you do?
That is flagrant abuse of a cell phone you have provided and paid for. So, that cell phone would be removed immediately.

AND I would def have a conversation with him about appropriateness, sexuality, and respect.
Stinkerbell is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off