My friend has an 11 year old step daughter and two preschool aged sons. This regards her step daughter, "Sara."
Sara does VERY poorly in school. She tests well below the 10%ile in the standardized tests that they take every year. She has had to take summer school for the past two years. I tried to tutor her in math two years ago, and we both ended up frustrated (I'm not a pro tutor, but I really wanted to do something,). I believe that Sara has some kind of a learning disability (NO ONE is THAT dumb), and have suggested testing (which would be paid for by the school) to her father and my friend. They haven't done it. For some reason, her father puts her child support money into a college fund for her, when it is quite clear that she won't be going to college. The money would be better spent, IMHO, on getting her the right tutor and dealing with this NOW.
My friend has only negative things to say about Sara (not only about school), and it really pisses me off. I don't want to spend time with her because of this (actually, and another reason relating to her older son, which is a completely different subject), though she calls me her best friend. She only fights with her and won't do anything to help her. They are in a pattern of fighting and they don't know how to get out of it.
Is this REALLY none of my d*** business (I would really hate it if someone told me that I wasn't raising my child properly.) or should I mention again about the LD testing and suggest that they use the "college" money on tutoring Sara now? Also, it would be fantastic if my friend and her husband took parenting classes to learn better coping strategies than yelling and spanking. Jeez, how would you feel if someone you knew suggested you take parenting classes?
I was talking with my mother (who is a pro tutor, but she lives too far away) about Sara's tests scores and things, and she said that Sara is the kind of girl that ends up pregnant. The scary thing is that my friend and I have had that same conversation, and she STILL won't do anything beneficial for this child.
And, yes, before you ask, there are many issues with Sara's natural mother (and natural father, but that's a whole other story, too) that are probably factors in this, like that whole getting pregnant thing. And, yes, some of this is Sara's fault, like she lies constantly about stupid things, and doesn't take care of responsiblities around the house. But, there is no way she is poor in school on purpose. I really think she doesn't understand the stuff they are learning (and her reading scores demonstrate that).
Argh! Should I just butt out or should I say something? Thanks.