daughter refuses to wear deodorant - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-16-2008, 07:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by holothuroidea View Post

As far as the bra goes, I am SO SURPRISED! to see how many mom's are OK with their daughters not wearing bras! I would never allow for my daughter's nips to be all obvious for whatever boy/creepy old man felt like looking at them! NO WAY JOSE! Wear the bra, pleeeeeeeease wear the bra! Bras are not a "tool of the man" meant to "keep women's parts down," these days. (This is coming from a rampant NO UNDERPANTS advocate). Bras are necessary for maintaining modesty, and they prevent unwanted looks/ sexual attention.

I second the tight fitting under-shirt. I didn't need a bra until I was 15 years old (I was a "late bloomer"), I wore an undershirt to hide the nips until then.
I don't consider nipples immodest. Actually, I don't consider any body part immodest. I went braless until my 30, in fact until I got pregnant the first time. I didn't give a rat's @ss if someone felt like looking at them - looking does not harm me.
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Old 04-16-2008, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by choli View Post
I don't consider nipples immodest. Actually, I don't consider any body part immodest. I went braless until my 30, in fact until I got pregnant the first time. I didn't give a rat's @ss if someone felt like looking at them - looking does not harm me.
:

This is right up there on my rant list with nipple stickers and those stupid bras with the "modesty petals". If a nipple is the part that determines modesty, I guess all those strippers with pasties are dressed suitably for meeting the Pope.


Now, back to the thread topic - I *DO* smell myself, even over the antiperspirant/deodorant that I wear, and I shower daily to keep on top of the odor and my oil production. Twice a day in the summer months. I never had a problem with wearing deodorant (I wanted it!) but my (2 years behind me) sister resisted for many reasons, but the main one was because she was lazy. She still doesn't shower daily.
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Old 04-16-2008, 08:44 PM
 
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This is right up there on my rant list with nipple stickers and those stupid bras with the "modesty petals". If a nipple is the part that determines modesty, I guess all those strippers with pasties are dressed suitably for meeting the Pope.
You should see the super-low-cut dress I once wore as a tourist in Vatican City. You can practically show your nipples to the Pope as long as your shoulders and knees are covered.

ETA: I wouldn't switch out her soap for deodorant soap. That stuff irritates some people's skin so much that she might stop bathing to avoid the rash.
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Old 04-17-2008, 12:17 PM
 
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I had a similar issue with both my DDs, who are now 11 and 13. I think we've finally reached the point where they are both using deodorant regularly, but it took time. I was surprised at their initial refusal to use it, because, when I was that age, I couldn't wait! (I guess I associated it with being grown-up.) Anyway, with my girls, I finally had to resort to some very frank conversations, i.e., "You stink. When you stink, no one wants to be around you. Kids will make fun of you. etc." I know it sounds harsh, but its the truth. In addition to the whole hygiene issue, I was trying to help them understand that if they decide to go against the norm, there will be some negative consequences. I'm not sure if I influenced them, or maybe they just reached that point of readiness on their own. Both girls have mentioned that some teachers at their school have given the "B.O. lecture" to the whole class more than once -- not sure how influential that was. It may have seemed more "real" to them coming from a teacher.
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Old 04-17-2008, 07:44 PM
 
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Something I wanted to mention about the bra is that from what I have noticed the training bra's dont even cover the nipple all it does is make a triangle "frame" with the nipple in the middle : and the girl is constantly having to pull it back down because there is nothing there to keep it from ridding up.

Back before there was anything called a bra I am sure people were not walking around gasping at all the nipples they were seeing or the natural breast. It is only in modern times that breasts have turned into things to hide and be so ashamed of we "have" to keep them covered.

Rant over back to your regularly schedualed thread.

 
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Old 04-17-2008, 08:07 PM
 
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I got to pick out my own deodorant and I loved it, I sat there in the aisle smelling all of them until I found one I liked. I was 12 or 13 then.

I wouldn't fight the bra too much, if you have an idea of what size she is just slip a few in her drawer that are really pretty and let that be. I only wear bras a lot now after nursing two kids, things just aren't the same.
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Old 04-17-2008, 08:15 PM
 
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This is just a thought, but it's been my experience that the onset of poor pubescent hygiene can be a sign of the onset of pubescent depression. Is your daughter OK otherwise?
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