I'm sorry this has turned into something so long, but I'm desperate .
Hi everyone, I'm looking for an outsider perspective with regards to our situation. I think I've reached the limit when it comes to my 16-year-old daughter, I'm completely stumped, tired and out of ideas. We are almost certain that there is something "wrong" with her, mentally. We have not taken any medical action as of yet, but she does have an appointment with our family doctor May 7th. The thing is, I don't know if we'll make it by then. It's gotten really scary for all of us dealing with it, I can't imagine how she
Some background (I'll try to keep it brief): I have four kids (as you can see from my signature) and I think my second-born has been the most "difficult", I guess you could say. Raising her was a challenge because she wasn't a typical kid; she was mostly withdrawn and very much dependent on herself throughout most of her childhood. A typical tomboy, she never got along with girls her age (nor boys, for that matter... but girls were always more distant). She was a very fussy eater (still is) and difficult to please with regards to everything, not just food. At around 13, we started noticing her bouts of anger getting worse. She'd have tantrums; crying, shaking, screaming, the whole bit. These still happen, maybe once weekly. Naively, we attributed these to puberty. However, as the years passed nothing really changed. As a matter of fact, things have gotten worse.
I talk to her on a daily basis about her "problems" and feel like I know a lot about my own child, but I'm not about to presume I know everything. I'm almost certain she's not telling me everything. She's told me on a number of occasions that she believes there's something madly wrong with her. She thinks she's depressed or has major anger issues. She tells me how, out of nowhere, she gets extremely angry for no apparent reason. She could be sitting in her room, doing homework, and she'll start to feel violent and trapped. She cries herself to sleep every night - I know this for a fact.
She has only one close friend (the rest are more acquaintances, but she can't stand them most of the time) whom she tells everything
. Now, I'm not fond of this girl whatsoever (we have a long history with her... pathological liar, attention-seeker, overall bad influence), but at this point, there's nothing I can do to keep her away from my daughter and nothing I want
to do frankly, since it's none of my business who she hangs out with. Their relationship is awkward, really. Both girls are quite needy and spend pretty much 24/7 together - no exaggeration. I feel like this girl has a lot of influence on my daughter as well because, at a point in their friendship, she went on a rampant lying spree, basically claiming to have a number of disorders (bipolarity was one of them) for attention. My daughter trusts her 100%, which I think is bull, but again, I stay out of it. She trusts her, and takes her psychological advice like she's a doctor, it's pretty sad. So, a lot of what this girl says is taken to heart by my daughter. I'm presuming that most of the advice is skewed and wrong.
My daughter's disinterested, withdrawn, violent (like I mentioned before) - she's taken it out on all of us, physically on her little brother (who is almost nine) and even her friend (she has admitted to punching her during one of her "anger attacks").
I'm not familiar with any of this. We don't have a history of depression, anger, etc. in our family so this is brand new to me. I hate to admit it, but throughout most of this I lived in denial thinking there was nothing wrong with my daughter, but honestly, I'm tired of that. I know that she needs help, and we all need help because we can't live like this anymore, on edge, wondering if today will be a "good" day for her, or a "bad" day. I'm convinced this is deep-seeded. I think she has hidden feelings, I know for a fact that her weight is a contributing factor (she's been dieting since she was 13, and she's never happy about herself physically), I've started to presume that she's not straight, which, I can imagine, would have huge effect on someone.
Anyway, I'm terribly sorry for the ramble, but I really just need some input and your thoughts/support. I really hope I get something back because I literally have no one to turn to at this point except my husband and oldest daughter, who are both as confused as I am.If you've read through all of this, thank you so much!