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#1 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 01:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was at work last night and admitted an 11 yar old with an eating disorder (which is not uncommon). I was helping her get settled and put her things away and found things I did not expect to encounter in an 11 year olds suitcase. There were cosmo girl magazines, Teen magazines, ect. more makeup than I own, and very "scanky" clothes. She had her hair highlighted and her nails done perfectly. She looked like 16- not 11.

I was shocked, how did this happen.. When did this happen.. Why did mom allow her to dress like this and read this stuff? Is it the parents fault or the fault of the nation. Why did anyone ever think of marketing a sex magazine to girls...

I'm sorry but I look at my sweet 10 year old and think this is what some of her peers will be like next year... This is to much to handle at such a young age..
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#2 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 03:27 PM
 
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Other than the "skanky" clothes(which may or may not be depending on an individual's perception of "skanky") everything out sounds normal to me. When I was 11 I read teen magazines, wore makeup, my hair wasn't highlighted but it'd been permed by then. I don't remember everything I wore but I do know I wore crop top shirts that my mom made for me, they were the "in" thing at the time.

honestly some of your dd's peers are most likely reading & doing this stuff now. My 9yo had her hair highlighted when she was 6, she's now saving up to have her hair dyed. IMO it's no different than the perm my mom let me have when I was 9. There are girls in my dd's class, younger & older who have highlights of varying colours. 1 boy in Grade 1 has a pink mowhawk & earings. There are a couple of girls who have gel nails. My 9yo is in Grade 4, there are kids who are 11 in that class either because their parents purposely held them back or they failed grade 1 or 2. There is at least 1 girl(who is 11) who has her period, quite a few girls are wearing bras, some are like my dd & don't actually need them.
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#3 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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It makes me sad that kids are cheated out of precious time being kids. The media and popular culture push kids into growing up so fast.

My almost 12 y.o. DD still plays with her American Girl dolls and so do a lot of her friends. I support this whole heartedly. They have lots of time to be grown-up, but once the kid stuff is over its over.

I can't help but wonder if the pressure to act so grown up is a major contributer to an eating disorder. The images girls see in mags like Cosmo girl are unrealistic portrayals of what female bodies really look like and represent only about 1% of the population. There is so much pressure on girls to look like super models.

Good to know that little girl is getting some help. My heart goes out to her.
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#4 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 04:04 PM
 
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At first I thought this will be one of those sweet nostalgic posts "I can't believe how fast my child is growing up"; after all, they do change A LOT in a very short time in their teenage years.

But your topic is much more disturbing. I don't think it's ok for an 11 y.o. to have highlights, bright nail polish, or to wear sexy clothes. I do think it's partially parents' fault, and partially the culture that the kids are exposed to. All you can do is to try your best with your own child what you have and try to guide your own child along a more meaningful path.

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#5 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 05:58 PM
 
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I see some of what you're saying, but I think you have to understand that different people have different views on what's okay and what isn't as well as what is "age appropriate" and what isn't... and if "age appropriate" even matters, really.

We don't do or not do things just based on age in my family. There are no hard rules about "you can do that when you're 12" or "That's not okay until you are 16". My mother did though. She refused to let my dye my hair until I was 13. She had no reason why other than it was "not appropriate" or "for teenagers". So even though I'd looked into the dye process, read up on different brands, understood the risks, and saved my own money for it when I was almost 12 I still wasn't allowed. I felt disrespected and treated like I was stupid or didn't matter. I dyed my hair at midnight on my 13th birthday. As I was doing it I asked my mom "So how are me and my hair any different now than they were 6 months ago? 10 minutes ago?" She just shrugged. Riiight.

We prefer to base what we do or don't do on interest, what we value, personal readiness rather than some arbitrary social/cultural age standard, safety, etc.

Assuming (for the purposes of this conversation) you think that hair highlighting and dyeing, or nail polish and make-up are not in conflict with your basic overall personal values, why is it alright for a 15 or 16 year old to do these things but not an interested 10 or 12 year old? If they have the interest and you can look into the process and information together what's the problem? Is it because we've decided that if a girl cares or wants to experiment with her look or with fashion that she's "skanky" or shallow? It just doesn't work for me. I have no problem sharing what I think with my daughter on any given thing, but she knows that it's coming from a place of respect and in the interest of sharing information not a place of alarm about nail polish or hair. She dyed her hair purple at 10 I think. We've done it countless times and colors since then. I do it too, so I guess it's a family affair. lol

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#6 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 06:43 PM
 
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Intersting topic. My DD has put blue streaks in her hair (for fun), wears make-up for fun (like dress-up) and like to wear shortish clothes.

As per the make-up, hair, nails - we are OK with it as long as it is kept in the realm of fun - and is not part of her daily grooming. I am not sure i would forbid it if it happenned - but I would take it as a sign she was growing up too fast (and perhaps too overly focused on her appearance).

She likes short-y clothes - and I totally allow it. I think to insist she change clothes would actually sexualise something she is doing which is not at all sexual. I also think people have the right to wear what they want.

So, with regards to the OP - if the adult stuff is meant to be part of daily ritual or if she is reliant on it(particularly given her food issues)- it is a little upsetting, if it is meant to pass the time, and be fun - no worries.

As per cosmo - I was reading Harlequins at 13 and 14. There was nothing else to read that was not baby-ish. Even now - finding reading material for the 11-14 yr old set that isn't depressing coming of age stufff or babyish can be tricky.

I also find, developmentally, kids that age can and do act grown up one moment, and play on the swing set the next. It is the age

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#7 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 08:09 PM
 
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Hmmm, I have an 11 y/o dd and neither her nor her friends wear skanky clothing, wear make up, or have their nails done. I will say that dd has had a manicure a few times in her life, but it isn't something done more than once per year. She's also colored her hair out of experimentation; but again, not something constant like an adult would do. She hasn't even begun to show interest in make up or any sort of grown up maintenance things. Because I also do not see this type of behavior in her friends, I do view this girl to be out of the realm of normal and a bit too grown up for her age.

I do wonder if she is in middle school, though. There is a huge change in girls between elementary and middle. With one 11 year old in elementary and the other in middle, they may be worlds apart in normalcy.
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#8 of 46 Old 05-10-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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An 11 year old with an eating disorder?
Sad.

I don't have a preteen DD, but when i was 11 i was still playing with dolls and acting pretty much as a kid.
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#9 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I guess I was troubled by all of this because it was all part of her daily grooming and she was so focused on this. She is only in 5th grade not in middle school.

If it is okay for an 11 to read magazines that talk about sex and that sort of thing, then is it okay for her to have sex. If not then why is this different. I know that we want our daughters to well educated about their options and consequences but is this really approapriate. By exposing them to it in this manner at such a young age are we inadvertently telling them that it is okay for them to do these things and act this way? I'm not saying they should not know about these things, but maybe parents should step up to the plate and teach them in a respectable way. Sex sure is a great and wonderful thing, but it is not a game or a mere pasttime event as it is portrayed in Cosmo..
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#10 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 01:47 AM
 
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My dd just turned 11 2 days a go and has had her period for half a year and has been dying her hair for much much longer than that. She wears nail polish and since she is tall she and reasonably developed she wears womens versus girls clothes. She does not have an eating disorder and we have full communication. Although she does not often read teen she does read all of my magazines and understands that half of it is crap but the pictures are fun. I really don't think that nail polish and "skanky" (very open to interpretation) clothes are the problem with our youth. So much more complicated than that.
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#11 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 01:49 AM
 
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BTW- I have just as much of a problem with a lot of those little girl toys. I'm thankful that my dd never played with american girl and mostly chopped up her barbies. She likes music and creating pages on youtube all totally fine activities to me.
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#12 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 04:57 AM
 
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If it is okay for an 11 to read magazines that talk about sex and that sort of thing, then is it okay for her to have sex.
There's a pretty big gap between reading and doing. I can admit that I might be concerned about what might be read in Cosmo or the like, but I'd just try to share my concerns about that. At 11 I think knowing about sex isn't just acceptable, it's important. Obviously, we want to make sure that we are loading kids with info they aren't ready for, but I don't think it's mindful to censor info about sex either. In other words it's possible for her check out a Cosmo AND get positive, accurate, healthy info about sex.

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#13 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 05:20 AM
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What a sad time we live in where even 11 years old are feeling so much pressure to look a certain way they are developing eating disorders.

That being said. Reading Cosmo isn't the same as having sex. I read a lot of stuff when I was that age that people probably thought was age-innapropriate including Cosmo and other stuff like Anais Nin.

I had a friend who was shielded from things about sex etc. and wasn't allowed to read Cosmo.

One day this friend asked me what a clitoris was and I was able to answer her because of my reading.

Its also sad to live in a time when women are so uneducated about their own bodies they don't even know the names of all their parts.
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#14 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 10:11 AM
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Other than the "skanky" clothes(which may or may not be depending on an individual's perception of "skanky") everything out sounds normal to me. When I was 11 I read teen magazines, wore makeup, my hair wasn't highlighted but it'd been permed by then. I don't remember everything I wore but I do know I wore crop top shirts that my mom made for me, they were the "in" thing at the time.

honestly some of your dd's peers are most likely reading & doing this stuff now. My 9yo had her hair highlighted when she was 6, she's now saving up to have her hair dyed. IMO it's no different than the perm my mom let me have when I was 9. There are girls in my dd's class, younger & older who have highlights of varying colours.
And I think stuff like this...the sexualization of children...is the exact reason that the US has such a high incidence of eating disorders in little girls.

Just because it's common does not make it ok.
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#15 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 10:23 AM
 
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As per Cosmo- yes, it is trashy and inappropriate. But is it worth saying "no" to?

I think many girls, if left on their own, or if they speak to their moms about the content of Cosmo, may very well choose (after their curiousity is sated)that it is a crappy magazine and will let it go on their own.

My DS, 12, is into watching this really crappy cartoon violence thing. I do not like it. I have told him why -and now I am trying to bite my tongue. I am pretty sure he will let it go on its own after a while - it is that stupid of a show.

Last thought- this child was admitted for an eating disorder. Eating disorders are largely about control. I would be very careful in imposing my control if I had a child with an eating disorder. I think it is important to model not being over controlling.

PS. I read Harlequins starting around age 13. DTD the first time? 18. Reading and doing things are very different and do not necessaqrily co-relate.

Kathy
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#16 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 10:48 AM
 
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And I think stuff like this...the sexualization of children...is the exact reason that the US has such a high incidence of eating disorders in little girls.

Just because it's common does not make it ok.
I was 16 when I came to the US, and I didn't even know what Eating Disorder was.

Now I teach 6th grade math. Girls who come in with eye-shadows, bright lipstick, bright nail polish (it's always peeling off), and highlights in their hair look trashy and stand out. Most of the girls at 11 (at least in our area) still look like kids, and 3-4 girls that try to dress/look older appear like they've been forced to do it; they look silly as if they are playing "dress up like an adult" game. It looks silly and disturbing at the same time. They do stand out, and none of the kids I can think of that dress like that have healthy self-esteem.

On a more personal note, it might work for someone else's kid, but not for our family. I have to admit, I have met a girl who was allowed to do all of these things from a very young age, and she seems confident and healthy, but by far she is an exception and not the rule. I would never send my kid to school in high heels, too-short of a mini-skirt, or a questionable, revealing top. Aside from esthetic reasons, I wouldn't dye their hair as it is adding chemicals to the body of a developing 11 y.o. I'm ok with "playing" with nail polish at a party or a sleep over, but I'm not ok with it being the norm in our house at that age.

My :



P.S. Great topic.

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#17 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 11:05 AM
 
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There's a pretty big gap between reading and doing. I can admit that I might be concerned about what might be read in Cosmo or the like, but I'd just try to share my concerns about that. At 11 I think knowing about sex isn't just acceptable, it's important. Obviously, we want to make sure that we are loading kids with info they aren't ready for, but I don't think it's mindful to censor info about sex either. In other words it's possible for her check out a Cosmo AND get positive, accurate, healthy info about sex.
Certainly there are healthier ways to discuss sexuality than by reading Cosmo at 11. Cosmo is not written for 11 y.o. girls. I as well believe that knowing about sex at this age is important and more than acceptable, but by no means do I want my kid learning about it from a magazine like that. I have no problems with girls reading teenage magazines when they are teenagers. I do have a problem with elementary school kids reading teenage or even adult magazines with sexual topics. What's the rush?

I am all for open communication, and listening to what you child has to say, but interesting question to answer is, WHY do our kids feel like they need to grow up before their body and mind does? WHY does an 11 y.o. wants to appear sexual? And WHY as a parent would I go along with it instead of discussing and encouraging the alternative with my kid?

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#18 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 11:07 AM
 
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What a sad time we live in where even 11 years old are feeling so much pressure to look a certain way they are developing eating disorders.
But what is the incidence of eating disorders among adolescent girls? I hear so much about anorexia and bullimia but honestly, when I look around (at least here in Ohio), I see far more adolescents who are overweight or obese than look anorexic.

Just because there may not be many girls with eating disorders doesn't mean that this is not a serious problem for them but from what I see, not very many girls are feeling enough pressure to be thin to develop an eating disorder.
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#19 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 11:38 AM
 
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Certainly there are healthier ways to discuss sexuality than by reading Cosmo at 11.
I think we're talking about Cosmo Girl, which isn't the same as the Cosmo for women. I've never read it but I see it on newstands. I read Seventeen at that age. I didn't know what the hell most of it was, but I read it

I don't mind bright nail polish on short nails (like orange, pink, glitter) or colored high lights for fun (pink, blue, green), and I don't mind different or "weird" clothes or funky clothes that aren't childish. I DO get a little queasy when I see french manicures, bleach blonds, spray tan, and skimpy clothes on younger girls. It just doesn't sit well with me.
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#20 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 12:48 PM
 
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I don't care one way or the other about hair/nails/makeup. I think they aren't a big deal. My big pet peeve is around clothing. I am an extremely conservative dresser and I freely admit that most of that comes from childhood sexual assault and control issues around my body.

I think that we live in a society that encourages young girls to be sexualized and viewed as sexual. I think that the clothing you wear influences how people see you. I think that encouraging males to look at a girl in a sexual way is dangerous. I don't need for girls to dress as conservatively as I do (I know that I am pretty extreme) but I'm not ok with girls going out in clothing that looks like a prostitute would wear it. I don't think that means that all non-covering clothing looks skanky. I think that a little girl wearing a crop top under overalls probably doesn't look adult/sexual. I think that wearing a crop top and a mini-skirt is crossing a line. (I have my own personal bias against mini-skirts in general and I pray my daughters don't want them. It's going to be a struggle for me to let them wear them.)

On the other hand I can't make my kids the victim of my own baggage. I'm going to explain to my daughters why wearing that sort of clothing freaks me out, but I'm going to ask them to please respect me and my opinions and not wear it. I'm not going to forbid it.

*cross fingers that this works out*

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#21 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 01:21 PM
 
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If it is okay for an 11 to read magazines that talk about sex and that sort of thing, then is it okay for her to have sex. If not then why is this different. .
???

I read mysteries...and I've never put arsenic in anyone's tea or fired a shot off a mysterious cliff. Gracious.

The more we make sex, sexuality, and relationships a taboo, the more kids will resort to private, secretive, furtive investigation of those things.

Information is ALWAYS power.

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#22 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 05:00 PM
 
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I hear this whole "standing out" thing from the teachers and admin at my kids school and it gets on my last nerve. There is nothing wrong with standing out. Would I want to see bright pink nails, spray tan, blond highlights, and skimpy preppy clothes on my dd. No way! I don't like to look at that crap on adult women but if that was her style I guess I would have to weep in my pillow nightly. I'm quite lucky that my daughters nails are usually black or red or blue or green...you get the idea and her "adult" clothing is a funky sorta punk cute style that I actually admire. I think she looks adorable but I don't encourage or discourage the way she dresses beyond giving her clothes that don't fit me anymore and picking up the occasional cute piece which she always puts together in a way I wouldn't have come up with. I did discourage dying her hair jet black (said I wouldn't do it for her) and offered her a dark brown instead because the black would have permanently changed her haircolor. Eating disorders are about control and I try to only take control in places that I need to.
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#23 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 06:16 PM
 
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I hear this whole "standing out" thing from the teachers and admin at my kids school and it gets on my last nerve. There is nothing wrong with standing out.

I don't think there is something wrong with standing out. I love my DP because he is unlike any man I've ever met, he is the most generous and kind person I have seen.. truly! THAT's a good way to stand out. Dressing uncoventionally is fine by me, but "different" doesn't have to mean trashy, or sexy at the age of 11. I want my kid to stand out with her actions, with her mature thinking, I don't want her to be looking for superficial way to stand out (i.e. hair, nails, clothes, etc.). Granted, as parents we can only hope on what our kids' will turn out to be, but that would be the path that I would try to guide my child along.

As far as school comments go, you might choose not to believe what I say, but I work with many kids, and I usually see the clothes / hair / nail polish extremes at that age come from self-esteem issues. This is not meant as a slam, this is just my personal observation that you can dismiss as irrelevant or incorrect. The most extreme cases I have seen came from "unhappy" place. I have never brought the clothes up to parents or to the kids, it is not my job to enforce moral dress code. At the same time, it is disheartening to see an 11 y.o. trying to find their true self in highlights and sexy clothes at the age when they barely understand the meaning of the word "sex", and while their bodies still look like little girls' bodies.

Overall, I don't have an issue with punk hairdo, dsd is 15 and has a very choppy look at the moment. I do have an issue with sexually driven image of little girls (and 11 is still very little).

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#24 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 06:48 PM
 
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In other words it's possible for her check out a Cosmo AND get positive, accurate, healthy info about sex.
I agree.

While I did alot of what this girl the OP mentioned has in her stuff, I never once wanted to look like the girls on the magazines, I knew they were airbrushed to look perfect & that real people didn't look like that. My mother never talked to me about sex, but it wasn't something I was searching for. I was 17 when I first had sex & the magazines I read, clothes I wore, toys I played with(barbie) certainly didn't cross my mind when doing it or played a role in it. Gosh, when I was 13 my mom bought me a bikini, it was more a sports one than the string bikini other/older teens were wearing. It was during the phase of zippers on swimsuits,lol. I had started developing breasts at 11. At 13 the swimsuit was okay, at 14 it wasn't & I was not comfortable wearing it so I wore a tank top over it. A friend of mine told me if I took the tank top off I"d have a boyfriend no problem. I thought she was crazy, why would I want a boyfriend who only wanted me for my breasts(which were D's at the time).

Sexualization of girls has a small part of eating disorders, chances are this girl the OP mentioned was abused either physically or emotionally by any number of possible types of people. There is a rising rate of eating disorders amongst teen boys which is just as concerning as ed's in girls, yet boys are not sexualized(or at least in the way people talk about girls being sexualized).
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#25 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 08:19 PM
 
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Ah, tough issue.

I have to say that I don't know.

I think some girls glom on to mags and TV for their worth and the image of perfection, and some don't.

I've always tried to keep the mags and TV at bay (not forbidding, but offerring something else, having open discussions etc) .

It's not the easy issue I think some posters are saying it is. I think it depends on the child, the environment of self-respect in which they live, and a host of other issues we can't even articulate.

I do think media of all kinds, left unchecked, can contribute to the kind of suffering you're (the OP) witnessing.
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#26 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 08:33 PM
 
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I was not allowed to wear make up at 11, read teen magazines, get my nails done, or dye my hair. I was also bulimic. I don't think "growing up too fast" has as much to do with this kind of stuff as some people think.

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#27 of 46 Old 05-11-2008, 09:47 PM
 
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It really depends on certain situations and environments. For example: I had a friend through school named Stace. Stace thought she was pregnant in the seventh grade. Why? Because her parents were oblivious idiots. That's why. She had sex in the backseat of their CAR while they were DRIVING. And they didn't notice. But they were hardcore strict at the same time they were innocent. It was very weird. But I had a friend who's parents were not strict at all - the rule was that if she had B's and above and didn't get into any trouble she could do pretty much whatever she liked. She did good. I also know girls who read teen magazines, and died their hair when they were nine but they turned out fine. My best friend has been coloring her hair and doing make-up forever and she's a great person with little self-esteem issues (of course all teen girls have some self-esteem issues. I envy the girl who's all confidence while she's a teen...). It really depends. I hate the fact that girls are growing up so fast though. My sister is nine and she's had a boyfriend for a few months now. It's pretty innocent (calling each other up and talking about a online game and stuff) but still. SHE'S NINE!
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#28 of 46 Old 05-12-2008, 01:33 AM
 
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Certainly there are healthier ways to discuss sexuality than by reading Cosmo at 11. Cosmo is not written for 11 y.o. girls. I as well believe that knowing about sex at this age is important and more than acceptable, but by no means do I want my kid learning about it from a magazine like that. I have no problems with girls reading teenage magazines when they are teenagers. I do have a problem with elementary school kids reading teenage or even adult magazines with sexual topics. What's the rush?
It's probably not the first thing I'd recommend to an 11 year old, but if they happened upon it, picked it up in a waiting room or at a friend or relative's home, or etc then it wouldn't be something I'd forbid or really discourage either. I'd maybe casually ask what they were reading about, and I'd probably share what I was reading too. If it seemed appropriate I'd mention that those kinds of magazines often have many articles about sex/sexuality/romance as well as fashion.

"There might be some subject matter that you aren't familiar with in this kind of magazine...sex, romance, etc. If you ever come across something you aren't sure about or need more on it's totally okay to ask me about it. I'd be glad to help if I can. I don't always agree with the information in those kinds of magazines, or with the way they present it...."

Maybe I would ask her if she's ever seen a news story on TV or something in a book that seemed off somehow? Has she noticed attitudes about "thin enough-ness" in any of her friends at school? Pressure to look any certain way?

I don't see it as a rush I guess. I see it as life. Like I said it's not a magazine I'd immediately think of for a young girl or boy, but it's not something I'd ever forbid either. I'd just go with it and share my thoughts as usual.


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I am all for open communication, and listening to what you child has to say, but interesting question to answer is, WHY do our kids feel like they need to grow up before their body and mind does? WHY does an 11 y.o. wants to appear sexual? And WHY as a parent would I go along with it instead of discussing and encouraging the alternative with my kid?
Well I don't automatically see nail polish or hair dye as sexual. When my Dd first wore nail polish years ago as a little girl it was just good fun. Heck, Ds wore it too. Over the years she also wore her hair in a variety of ways , went through several different styles of dressing including dresses, jeans she wrote on, bright colors for awhile and then lots of black. She's a young woman now (14) and so she is a sexual being, but I don't think it's been negativey influenced by wanting fun purple streaks at 9 or highlights at 11.

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#29 of 46 Old 05-12-2008, 12:40 PM
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But what is the incidence of eating disorders among adolescent girls? I hear so much about anorexia and bullimia but honestly, when I look around (at least here in Ohio), I see far more adolescents who are overweight or obese than look anorexic.
Clinical eating disorders - as in, meeting the DSM criteria? Here are some stats:
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· Between 0.3-1 percent of young women have anorexia nervosa, which makes anorexia as common as autism
· Around 1-3 percent of young women have bulimia nervosa
· Around 3 percent of the population has binge eating disorder
· Many more suffer from some, but not all, of the symptoms of anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Between 4 percent and 20 percent of young women practice unhealthy patterns of dieting, purging, and binge-eating.
So, that's up to one in five, which is a pretty scary number. Not all girls with eating disorders are extremely thin - in fact, most aren't. The core issue is the same, though - an unhealthy way of relating to food and unhealthy beliefs about body size and weight.

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Just because there may not be many girls with eating disorders doesn't mean that this is not a serious problem for them but from what I see, not very many girls are feeling enough pressure to be thin to develop an eating disorder.
Again, the "pressure to be thin" doesn't always result in a anorexia nervosa... there's no way of looking at girls' bodies and knowing whether they have eating disorders. The answer to the problem of adolescent obesity certainly is not to pressure girls more about being then - I think it's the opposite. We need to celebrate girls of all sizes, and focus of healthiness rather than size.

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#30 of 46 Old 05-12-2008, 12:53 PM
 
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I am all for open communication, and listening to what you child has to say, but interesting question to answer is, WHY do our kids feel like they need to grow up before their body and mind does? WHY does an 11 y.o. wants to appear sexual? And WHY as a parent would I go along with it instead of discussing and encouraging the alternative with my kid?
I have an 11 yr old. She doesn't get dressed with the intention of appearing sexual, she is just interested in clothes and fashion. I firmly believe that "appearing sexual" is in the eye of the beholder and has very little to do with hair styles or nail polish.
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