When does puberty start? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 09:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What's the "official definition" of the start of puberty? Body changes? Menses?
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#2 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 09:37 AM
 
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I would think when body changes start happening, since menses kinda happens in the middle of puberty for girls. For example, most girls start developing breasts have body hair and body odor changes well before Aunt Flo shows up.

If I remember right, I had all the nice hormone mood swings before menses. My parents loved it
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#3 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 10:16 AM
 
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Yeah, but ages. Numbers.

I want precise dates and times. Now.











FWIW, DH is on the ball with DS#1/10yo getting him ready for this stuff. Am totally not knowing if DD#1/8yo is supposed to be getting ready, too. I mean, girls start earlier, right? But is 8 too early?









Details. Someone, please, post details.

:
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#4 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 10:38 AM
 
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Originally Posted by merpk View Post
Yeah, but ages. Numbers.
That's going to depend a lot upon the individual child. My dd#1, for instance, will be 10 this August. She has no body odor, no underarm or pubic hair, she's still built straight up and down -- no widening hips that I can tell in her bathing suit, and she has no breast buds. However, she has a number of friends in 4th grade (10-10.5 y/o) who have had the beginings of breasts and have been wearing "training bras" since 8.5-9 y/o. Most of these kids do not yet have hair and are not menstrating. Only one that I know of has her period.
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#5 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 10:52 AM
 
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I remember having breast "buds" at 10 - grade 5, and I started menstruating at age 11 - grade 6. I was the 2nd person I knew to start menses so I would say that's earlier than average, which is strange because I was a skinny skinny bean pole (being overweight is a factor for early menses).

I also remember asking my mom if she could buy me deodorant because I noticed my odour changing - that was definitely prior to age 10.

It varies quite a bit.

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#6 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 10:57 AM
 
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My dd started (hips, breastbuds, stinky) a bit before she turned 9 and by 10 she had breasts, hair, and lots more stink. She got her first period at 10.5 and she is thin to normal.
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#7 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 08:54 PM
 
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I had breast buds at age 8, needed a bra by age 9 and had my first period at age 10. I wasn't a bean pole, but I was not chubby. My body changed a lot by jr. high.

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#8 of 29 Old 05-27-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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I kinda had it all at once the year I was ten. Hair, breasts, odor, then I got my period about 3 months before I turned 11. I went from a beanpole the beginning, to Jessica Rabbit voluptuous in 6 months!

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#9 of 29 Old 05-28-2008, 07:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by merpk View Post
Yeah, but ages. Numbers.

I want precise dates and times. Now.
:
DD 1 about 8 1/2 started being "rounder" in shape (going on 9). Also small buds. She will be 10 in Sept. She has BO (strong) and needs deodorant every day, small amount of acne. No hair, no menses. HUGE APPETITE. I'm hoping (praying) that she will wait until summer of 2009 to start b/c they do 6th grade middle school here. I think it would be easier to deal with in middle school. Maybe.

She's carrying weight a bit heavy--came to me with a question today about losing weight because she's concerned she's too heavy. She is, but . We talked about food choices.
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#10 of 29 Old 05-29-2008, 01:47 PM
 
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I started seeing slight changes in my body - hair, a tiny bit of breast budding, body odor - around 12, but I didn't get my period until 14 1/2, and didn't really have hips until I was 16 (still don't have any boobs, and am skinnier than most 12-year-olds I know).

However I was the ONLY one of my friends who was this late. Most of my girl friends were started with boobs by 10 or 11 and their period by 11 or 12. So no, 8 isn't too early to talk about it, if she isn't experiencing it her friends will be.
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#11 of 29 Old 05-29-2008, 01:57 PM
 
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Ok, Merpk. Your DD will start to grow breasts exactly on her 9th birthday and will get AF the morning of her Bat Mitzvah, but only if she's wearing a white dress. If she's wearing a dark dress or skirt, then it won't show up for another 5 days.

Seriously, it varies so much from one girl to another. DDs have friends who got AF at age 11 and looked like 16yos by the time they turned 12, and other friends who didn't need a bra until age 11. In general, breast growth starts a while before AF shows up, and body hair shows up shortly before. Hormonal changes and smellier armpits arrive around the same time as breasts.

My own 13.5yo got her first bra at age 10.5 (but didn't QUITE need it yet) and is still waiting for AF, though most of her friends already have it. It looks like it will happen soon, based on hair growth. My 12yo is about a year behind her- breasts and hips are growing, armpits are getting sweatier, but no obvious new hair growth yet. I'm not sure how quick the develoment of puberty was for the friends who developed younger, as we simply weren't as close to those families at the time.

I do know I've seen 3rd and 4th graders who looked like they could be wearing bras. IMO, 8 isn't too young to talk about puberty and body changes and explain that everybody grows at different rates. I'm not so sure you need to introduce sex ed at this point though.

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#12 of 29 Old 05-29-2008, 02:57 PM
 
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I read somewhere that menses starts around when you hit 90-100 lbs. Anyone found that to be true?
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#13 of 29 Old 05-29-2008, 06:02 PM
 
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I don't think that's a hard rule, no..

When I got mine I weighed 88.

My friend was overweight her whole life, and got hers at 13, weighing in at 180 lbs.
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#14 of 29 Old 05-29-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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Thanks, Ruthla. That's exactly what I was askin'. Will remember to bring mamacloth to her bat mitzva.






Sigh.





I wish I remembered when all this happened to me. I just plain don't. I mean, I remember the feeling of my first period, but have no recollection of how old I was (something tells me 13 ... but then a voice keeps popping up in my head saying 11 ...) and I don't remember actual breasts till I was 18. I mean, they must've been there before, but ... ya' know?

My long term memory went with the short term one ...
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#15 of 29 Old 05-29-2008, 08:09 PM
 
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I wish I knew the answer to this. My dd is almost 14 and has not yet started her period. However, I expect it is coming soon. Her breasts have begun developing this past year and she is getting hairier although not too smelly yet. She recently gained weight and I am thinking this may also be a sign. She doesn't look much heavier but is up about 8-9 pounds in the last 6-9 months.
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#16 of 29 Old 05-30-2008, 03:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rose angel View Post
I read somewhere that menses starts around when you hit 90-100 lbs. Anyone found that to be true?
Nope, I was 14 and maybe 70 lbs.

I was a late bloomer, though.

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#17 of 29 Old 06-03-2008, 09:56 AM
 
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I read somewhere that menses starts around when you hit 90-100 lbs. Anyone found that to be true?
It's not about the body weight in a number, but is more to do with the percentage of body fat. There are petite women who will menstrate but may only weigh 90 pounds which isn't a horribly thin weight for someone who might only be 5'0".

However, many women who diet to the point of not having much body fat will stop menstrating no matter what their height might be.

I wish that peuberty was predictable, but it's just not. If you can remember when body changes started happening for you, your daughter might start about the same time. Talk to the other women in your family (on both sides) to get an idea - for example, if all the women on her father's side of the family were early starters (got their menses at 9) your daughter may be an early starter too. I'd just look for the subtle clues (b.o, wideing hips, thicker hair on the legs/extremeties) and when those start happening, have the talk.
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#18 of 29 Old 06-03-2008, 06:42 PM
 
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you just never know. I was 13 and very heavy when I started. my 9 year old is on the heavy side, no hair, has armpit odor, just starting to wear a training bra (she really needs it)
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#19 of 29 Old 06-04-2008, 01:57 AM
 
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There are several components to "puberty" - breast developmental, other secondary sexual characteristics (pubic hair, armpit hair, body odor, etc.) and then onset of menses (menarche.) Some quick research says the usual order is first the start of breast development, then the other secondary sexual characteristics, then the start of menses. Average age for the start of breast development is about 10.5, and the average age for start of menses is 12.75 in the US.
Of course, not everybody follows textbook pathways, and the range of normal is pretty wide.
As to when to get girls "ready", I think it's a good idea to be talking all along about body changes starting whenever they have questions or whenever it can be worked into conversation (like when my 5 year old asks me what my cloth pads are for!)
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#20 of 29 Old 06-04-2008, 11:20 AM
 
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My daughter is 11.5 and started with breast buds about 10.5. I wish we would have known about lopsided breast development LOL because one swelled a lot earlier than the other!! BO kicked in and she now has real pubic hair that shows, I can see her hips widening and a little more belly, she is not heavy at all, just beginning to look womanly. There was a great website, based in Canada www.cyh.com that I liked because it was child friendly with less sex and more developmental info. I am wondering when she will bleed, seems like soon to me but she is not wanting to deal with that. Her breasts still seem to swell one at a time until the other one catches up...Its pretty beautiful to see her grow up in this way.
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#21 of 29 Old 06-06-2008, 10:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I Talk to the other women in your family (on both sides) to get an idea
I have 5 sisters. DH is an only child. My sisters started as follows: 13, 14, 15, 12, 9, and 14. I have absolutely NO idea when my girls will start. I'm hoping we'll get to 11.5.

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#22 of 29 Old 06-08-2008, 01:16 PM
 
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Stephanie started changing around 11 years old and she was 13 when she got her first period and I was about the same myself.
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#23 of 29 Old 06-08-2008, 09:48 PM
 
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I was a late bloomer-looked like a little girl until about 13, finally started menses at 14. In high school. My mom, OTOH, started her cycle at 10.

My 12yo's body odor changed at about 8. At 10, she started to get breast buds and hair and started shaving (her choice-I rarely shave). She has yet to start her period, but I don't think it will be much longer. She's more hippy and has actual, if small, breasts now.

My 9yo has just now asked for deoderant b/c her scent is changing. She also asked for a bra and is probably a year or more from really needing one (cheap sports bra-it makes her feel better). She's skinny and has absolutely no curves yet, so expect a wait.
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#24 of 29 Old 06-10-2008, 11:28 AM
 
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Boy did this thread throw me for a loop. DD1 is going to turn 9 in a couple months. I know she's getting older, but it just didn't hit me that she's going to have boobs and a period in the next couple years. I'm too young to share my feminine hygiene products. She's definitely getting more round in the hip area. I need more time!!!!

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#25 of 29 Old 06-10-2008, 11:49 AM
 
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I wish I remembered when all this happened to me. I just plain don't. I mean, I remember the feeling of my first period, but have no recollection of how old I was (something tells me 13 ... but then a voice keeps popping up in my head saying 11 ...) and I don't remember actual breasts till I was 18. I mean, they must've been there before, but ... ya' know?

My long term memory went with the short term one ...



So my dad told me the other day, I got my period at 11. Nice to have confirmation of this stuff.

Had "the talk" with DD#1. She was a little too excited about it all, wants me to buy mamacloth now. She's used to seeing it hanging on the laundry line, so it's not news to her, but she didn't know she could get her own with her own choice of fabrics, etc.



Am hoping it doesn't all start before I'm ready for her to start ... :
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#26 of 29 Old 07-21-2008, 11:35 PM
 
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I went through puberty really young. In fact, my pedi suggested my parents put me on hormone therapy to stop it, but they refused. I was also never a chubby child, just tall. I started wearing a bra in the first grade. I had my period and started shaving at 8. I started wearing deoderant and had hips at 9 and reached my full height of 5'3" at 10. I was a large B-cup by the end of 5th grade.
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#27 of 29 Old 07-22-2008, 04:25 PM
 
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My dd will 9 in November. She is not exhibiting any breast or hip development or any body hair growth. I did recently buy her her own deodorant crystal because she says her underarms smell. I have yet to witness it.

She is also very tiny, 46 lbs. and 46" tall at her check-up two months ago. I wonder if itty-bitties develop on the later side?
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#28 of 29 Old 03-05-2014, 11:34 AM
 
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Ok so this is my first post and I was wondering if someone could help me out. My only child is growing up fast, she will be 11 in April. For almost a year now she has had a bad odor. When I ask her to go and shower at night she rolls her eyes, drops her shoulders and huffs. As she is walking off she is saying something under her breath to me but I can never understand it. We went and had her measured and got her a couple of sports training bra things. She was able to wear them for like 2 weeks, the problem is that it doesn't look like they are doing anything. 2 weeks later she is poking through her shirt again. FWIW she has no boobs yet. She has little nubs. (Her words not mine). Last night I went in the bathroom while she was in the tub. She has some armpit hair and some pubes. I mean it's not like she is jane from Tarzan with the body hair but it is there. Coming in thin thus far but it is getting curly. I cannot ask my mom or dad because heck they didn't have any of "The Talks" with me. Everything I learned was from trial and error. And oh boy did I pay for it, mistake after mistake after mistake. I guess what I'm asking is if there is a way to let her know that she can ask/talk to me about anything and to maybe get rid of there-pubescent attitude? I can't handle the attitude. Also maybe a time frame on when she could be expecting her first period? Like I said she will be 11 next month. Any ideas on how to approach this conversation with her? I have told her about a period and she tells me no thanks mom, I won't be getting that! Lol. I wish! I just don't want my baby to get teased for getting AF first before others like I did. She gets bullied/made fun of as it is already. Kids are so cruel now a days. I remember I was in 6-7 grade I think when I got mine and I was the only one. Teased throughout middle school. Boys are so cruel!!! I just don't want her to be embarrassed or ashamed for becoming "A Woman" because it is natural. I just don't know what to expect. Also at what age should I think about teaching her how to shave her legs and pits?

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#29 of 29 Old 03-05-2014, 11:47 AM
 
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If she has breast buds and pubic hair, you should make sure she is prepared for menarche.  Talk about pads and tampons and cups -- let her pick out what she wants to have on hand.

 

Very lightly padded bras can help keep breast buds from showing through or rubbing against clothing.


Carseat-checking (CPST) and WAH mama to a twelve-year-old girl.
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