Is 13 too young to get a nose piercing? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Should I let my 13yr.old pierce her nose?
Yes, why not? 86 36.91%
No. Please explain why not. 130 55.79%
Other. Please explain. 17 7.30%
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#1 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 01:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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ayi ayi

I don't have any moral objection. I'm not even sure what my objection would be. She asked months ago and I said something about getting 2 As and the rest Bs (trying to give incentive to work harder at school). I'm now regretting that sort of for a couple of reasons. One of them is that she actually got 3s (which in elementary school means at grade level so it could be Cs to As??). She thinks that qualifies. It is certainly better grades than she's ever had. But I don't think she'd really argue with me if I said no based on the grades.....

?? I don't know. 13?? I should have NEVER said anything about grades and I won't do that again. I did much better with the multiple ear piercings by just saying to wait until you're twelve and see if you still want it. Then sticking to the 12. My bad. I think I was trying to hold her over until like 15....that seemed more reasonable. But reasonable based on what? I have no moral objection....if how she is looked at by members of society who do have a moral objection bothers her, she can take it out.

Help.
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#2 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 02:07 PM
 
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As long as my dd was old enough to take care of the piercing properly (like not mess with it) and it was something she had been wanting for a while (not just an impulsive idea) I would be OK with it. I have my nose pierced (but don't wear it at work) so take that into account.
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#3 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 02:26 PM
 
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By all means let her. Cultural chauvinism is the only thing that makes it differ from pierced ears, in my view. People may tell you "Oooooh, as she grows it might heal weird! The piercing might MOVE!" which is the big scare. Honestly, that very rarely happens, isn't a big deal when it does, and can just as easily happen to the ears.

That said USE A REPUTABLE PIERCER. No guns, no nonsense like that.
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#4 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 02:50 PM
 
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In our home, we have always made it clear that anything other than one hole in each ear is something they can decide at the age of 18 when they don't need parental permission to do it. That way there is nothing to negotiate. You may also want to look at her school dress code. Schools here do not allow peircings that are visible other than the ears.

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#5 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 02:54 PM
 
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No. A reputable piercer will not pierce a minor with or without consent. I will not go to a shop that pierces minors. She rips that thing out somehow, snagged on a towel whatever (done it), and suddenly its your fault. Why not wait until she's old enough to sign for herself.. she can go to an excellent shop, research the piercing and how to care for it properly, and everybody rests easy.
I wanted my nose pierced when I was 15.. waited until I hit 18, signed for myself.. what a right of passage. I still have it.
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#6 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 03:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Organicavocado View Post
No. A reputable piercer will not pierce a minor with or without consent. I will not go to a shop that pierces minors. She rips that thing out somehow, snagged on a towel whatever (done it), and suddenly its your fault. Why not wait until she's old enough to sign for herself.. she can go to an excellent shop, research the piercing and how to care for it properly, and everybody rests easy.
I wanted my nose pierced when I was 15.. waited until I hit 18, signed for myself.. what a right of passage. I still have it.
I agree. I was 18 when I got mine. I tend to be pretty open but I'd make my own daughters wait till at least 16...little more responsible, I think.

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#7 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 03:09 PM
 
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I got my first tattoo at twelve or thirteen and I love it to death even now. At least a nose piercing could be removed if she (or you!) wanted it out.

But if you really don't want her to, she's your kid and you don't have to offer any reasons at all.

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#8 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 03:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Organicavocado View Post
No. A reputable piercer will not pierce a minor with or without consent.
This is untrue, but you may need to bring her ID and birth certificate, and you might want to find someplace patronized by South Asians. If you are in a lily-white area where piercings other than in the ears are Teh Rebellion, then the PP is probably right.
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#9 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 03:49 PM
 
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my 2 cents; it depends on the individual child, her maturity level, amount of responsibility she can handle. Age isn't the only important factor. I know 25 yr olds who are way more immature than some 13 yr olds..

If I felt she was responsible enough to care for it on her own, and it wasn't an impulsive thing or something she wanted "cause everyone else has one!!!" I would let her get it done. And provided it wasn't against the dress code at her school. Though you could get it done over the summer and she could just wear a spacer at school.
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#10 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 04:14 PM
 
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In many states it's against the law to pierce anything other than ears on anyone under 18. I'd check the law for your state before going any further.
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#11 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 04:36 PM
 
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Check the laws and locate a resputable piercer, but in the end, if you think she is old enough to deal with keeping it clean and being responsible about it, then I would let her. A nose piercing, IMO, is small potatoes compared to all ther other body mods that are out there. AFAIK, most piercers would require you to be present at the piercing because of her age.

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#12 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 04:38 PM
 
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I live in CA and its against the law to pierce anything if theyre under 18 and without a parent. For my ears I had to have an adult with me and they had to sign a consent form.


anyways. . In my opinion I think you should wait. At least until High School.

I can't imagine seeing a 13 year old with a nose piercing.


Thats still real young to me.
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#13 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 04:38 PM
 
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I think 13 is pretty young for a nose piercing, but that's just me. I asked dd to wait until she was 16. Now that she is, she still needs my consent legally, but it won't look as weird to me now that she looks more like a grownup-if that makes any sense...
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#14 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 05:11 PM
 
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I would make sure that she understands the consequences of that type of piercing before you do anything.

There are consequences... as screwed up as it seems, there are people who think poorly of things like nose piercings, and it might affect her ability to get certain kinds of jobs later on down the road.

You might also want to check the dress code at her school. Some dress codes are pretty specific about no extreme hair, make up or jewelry.
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#15 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 05:20 PM
 
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I wouldn't have a problem with it except for what will happen at school? How will she keep it covered as I know most schools ban piercings like that? I didn't read the whole thread so maybe this all ready got brought up?
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#16 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 05:27 PM
 
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I voted yes.
As others have said, only you know her level of responsibly. she needs to be able to properly care for it, and care about it. kwim?

It can always be removed. It is not permanent for life like a tattoo.
but again, you should have a good conversation with her first IF you decide to let her. If not, you don't need a reason. you are her mom

AND most important!!!!!!!! Find a reputable, good piercer to do it. Make sure they only use high quality surgical steel jewelry. It wont be cheap, and shouldn't be. If the jewelry is 10 bucks, walk away. And make sure she is ready and acts like she cares to be attentive to the instructions for care. Many piercers out there have good websites as well that will give instructions, healing times, why NOT to use any cheap jewelry you can by at the mall, etc. (this doesn't mean its a good shop of course, i wouldn't make a decision based on that, just a good place for you both to look at info together before hand.)


and I know around here the age is 16 unless a parent is present, I do not understand judging a piercer by whether or not they will pierce a minor? everyone has the right to decide for themselves and their own children. Doesn't make them any less qualified to do the job just because you don't agree with the ethics--hmm

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#17 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 05:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PregnantMomma20 View Post
I wouldn't have a problem with it except for what will happen at school? How will she keep it covered as I know most schools ban piercings like that? I didn't read the whole thread so maybe this all ready got brought up?
I personally wouldnt have my child attend a school that banned piercings

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#18 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 05:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by WC_hapamama View Post
I would make sure that she understands the consequences of that type of piercing before you do anything.

There are consequences... as screwed up as it seems, there are people who think poorly of things like nose piercings, and it might affect her ability to get certain kinds of jobs later on down the road.
I live in NYC (where many residents, of not most, have moved in order to work specific jobs), and I've never run across this sort of attitude to the small nose piercing that so many middle-aged women have. Never. Could you give me an example of a job that might not hire a qualified woman because she's chosen to wear unobtrusive, traditional jewelry?
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#19 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mamato3cherubs View Post
I personally wouldnt have my child attend a school that banned piercings
I would. If they banned all piercing. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, every time the piercing-an-infants-ears issue comes up, someone gets bent out of shape about how since for certain groups it's "cultural," it can't be argued with. Nose piercings on women are an important part of several cultures. How is this any different (aside from not being perpetrated on a helpless, screaming newborn)?

There is not one thing to differentiate ear piercing from nose piercing save bigotry. Sorry.
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#20 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 06:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Individuation View Post
I live in NYC (where many residents, of not most, have moved in order to work specific jobs), and I've never run across this sort of attitude to the small nose piercing that so many middle-aged women have. Never. Could you give me an example of a job that might not hire a qualified woman because she's chosen to wear unobtrusive, traditional jewelry?
Many/most retail establishments (apart from Hot Topic, etc) don't allow more than two piercings per ear when at work.
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#21 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 06:30 PM
 
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as others i'm sure have said take her to a real piercer NOT anywhere where they use a gun! very very important

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#22 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 06:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Individuation View Post
I live in NYC (where many residents, of not most, have moved in order to work specific jobs), and I've never run across this sort of attitude to the small nose piercing that so many middle-aged women have. Never. Could you give me an example of a job that might not hire a qualified woman because she's chosen to wear unobtrusive, traditional jewelry?
Disney for one. Their theme parks have some pretty strict dress codes for employees. Disney is notorious for their ticky-tacky rules about piercings, hair and facial hair.

I've never seen a school dress code that bans piercings outright, but have seen quite a few that have quite specific rules that require students to remove jewelry from certain piercings while they are at school. Part of that is a safety issue though.
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#23 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 08:10 PM
 
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Six Flags, too.
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#24 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 08:17 PM
 
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I had my first piercing at 16 (with parental consent) and it was my naval. Laws are different state by state. Piercings can always be removed and a nose ring when cared for properly will only leave a tiny hole. Make sure she knows how to clean it and also make sure it is done by a reputable source.

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#25 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 09:34 PM
 
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I was 14 or 15 when I got my nose pierced, 15 I think, and I went to one of the best places in my area, just needed my mom with me and my birth certificate. It can be a pain to take care of, so I would make sure you think she can do that before you consider it, but overall I'd say yes. Plus it is such a tiny hole if she decides she doesn't want it, when I took mine out you couldn't tell I even had it pierced ever.

Oh, and for my job which it wasn't allowed at, I just took it out for the hours I was working and it was fine.
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#26 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 09:45 PM
 
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I would be concerned it might be an impulsive thing she would regret later (and piercings do not always heal well when taken out, either). However, she's your child and you can judge that better.
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#27 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 10:09 PM
 
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Certainly check local laws- but assuming it's legal, I'd still tread cautiously. I'd learn a lot about proper care of the piercing, and make sure she's aware of possible complications, the amount of pain/discomfort that's common even without complications, etc.

I'd also make sure she REALLY wants it done, and it's not just a passing fad. I'd wait at least 6 months from the first time she asked about it until allowing it.

If it's legal in your state, and she's been asking for a long time and hasn't changed her mind, then I'd probably allow it. I'm not 100% sure how I'd react though, as none of my kids have requested "unconventional" piercings.

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#28 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 10:14 PM
 
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I would have used the "if you still really want one in one year, then we will do it and make a nice day of it, do it the right way, etc. etc.

I personally dont think grades should ever be an incentive for anything, except because it is their job, college options, etc.
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#29 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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If she is responsible enough to care for it, it's her body.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#30 of 110 Old 07-10-2008, 11:23 PM
 
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I know in the four states I've lived in it's really difficult to find a certified piercer who will pierce somebody under 18. If they are willing to break that law, you don't know what other "short cuts" they will take. I was over 18 when I got all my piercings and tattoos.
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