When your dd is say 16-17, she got pregnant, boyfriend left her, what would you do? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums
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#91 of 96 Old 12-09-2008, 01:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Lisa85 View Post
Those fathers should then really consider going to court for visitation
I agree but these are teens. They don't necessarily have the resources to take the mothers to court. They have to rely on their parents to help them navigate the system and come up with the money needed. Their parents aren't always very helpful.

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#92 of 96 Old 12-09-2008, 01:22 PM
 
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I agree but these are teens. They don't necessarily have the resources to take the mothers to court. They have to rely on their parents to help them navigate the system and come up with the money needed. Their parents aren't always very helpful.
this is so true.
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#93 of 96 Old 12-09-2008, 03:46 PM
 
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The mothers kept their babies but don't allow the fathers to have much of anything to do with their children. I could be kept completely out of the loop if something like that happened. I may never even know. That is very disturbing to me.
that is so sad. my grandson's dad moved to a town a couple of hours away and has not seen his son since July. I just cant imagine how he can go that long. while I don't think its good for him to live here with my dd - I also think my grandson needs to maintain a regular relationship with his dad.

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#94 of 96 Old 12-09-2008, 09:14 PM
 
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I have thought alot about this idea too, since my dd was 16 when she gave birth and was really not ready for all of this. We do co-parent, dd is in charge so it does not get confusing for dgs but she really needs A LOT of support. I would love, love, love to be his parent if she did not think she could do it but I do think it could be very damaging to her emotionally. For many reasons but for one to see me raising her child, and also .. to have "failed". I have tried to avoid anything like that by being as supportive as I possibly can and still maintain that she is in the drivers seat. (that is sooo not easy sometimes)
I went through this same type of situation when I had my oldest at 20. I was not ready to be a mother. My mother supported me tremendously unlike my father who basically told me I had made my bed and now had to lie in it. I had a lot of conflicts with my mother about how to raise my ds at that time. Now that I'm older, more mature, and have more children, I wish I had appreciated her more back then. Turned out she was right.

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#95 of 96 Old 12-11-2008, 02:33 AM
 
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What would you do if this situation presented itself in the future? What would you expect/want your dd to do, how would you help her, etc?
Well my dd is 19 so past that age. My answer wouldn't change though. I'd tell her congratulations, tell her we love her, will supporter her and the baby and discuss if she has told the bio dad.
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#96 of 96 Old 12-27-2008, 05:46 PM
 
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I would support her, offer to help her in all things except abortion. If she felt strongly about having one, I wouldn't hate her for it, But i couldn't morally help her terminate a pregnancy, I live my life to help people have children, I would definitely help her with adoption if that is what she wanted. I know many many people that would love to adopt, including me.
I would also help her raise her baby.


I found out I was pregnant when I was 16, 4 months after I got married, So I was already living in an adult world so I was prepared to take care of my child. I don't regret it for one second. I had no support from family other then my husband at the time (he was 23). Now 12 years later, My mother has said to me that "i wish you would have waited, I could have supported you better if you had waited, don't you see what you missed?"

honestly I didn't miss anything. I still did everything I wanted to do. The only people that missed anything were the people that didn't support me in my decision. They missed seeing a little boy being born and loving him for the first few years of his life, the birth of his brother when I was 19 and seeing him through toddlerhood.

My children had enough love from me and my husband. If I could have hit the pause button and lived like a normal 16 year old did, i wouldn't have done it.

Loving Dh, Mama x 4, Surrogate mother to 5. A born 2003, M and R girl/girl twins 2006, S and C boy/girl twins born 2010. Processing/healing.
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