How is your partner preparing? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 04-03-2007, 08:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Are your partners doing anything specific to prepare for the upcoming birth of your baby?

Mine is reading (yes, at this very moment) "The Birth Partner", and we've done a lot of talking already about our hopes and fears for this birth (we've had trauma in the past). We've also decided that really, this time DP's role will be to be the partner and father--much labour support will be from a doula.

4 kids under 10
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#2 of 19 Old 04-03-2007, 09:02 PM
 
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We've been reading a lot of books, he just finished natural childbirth the Bradley way. We also have centering appointments with the mw, so he's able to ask questions and learn a lot about supporting a pregnant woman as well as a laboring woman. He's also able to hear from other pregnant women in the group and their husbands. Talking about our hopes and fears has put a lot into perspective for us, we've really learned to lean on each other. He's a very hands-on person and wanted to be involved from the start, so I feel good about entrusting him as my main support person.

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#3 of 19 Old 04-03-2007, 09:35 PM
 
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He's gaining weight right along with me.
He blames it on all the carbs in the house right now.
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#4 of 19 Old 04-03-2007, 09:44 PM
 
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He's gaining weight right along with me.
He blames it on all the carbs in the house right now.


We just started our Bradley Method classes and "we" have reading assignments! He did "our" excersies with me tonight too!

SAHM and loving it with DH, DS (8/4/2007) and DS (10/10/2010)
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#5 of 19 Old 04-03-2007, 11:16 PM
 
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We just started our Bradley Method classes and "we" have reading assignments! He did "our" excersies with me tonight too!
Have fun! That brings back happy memories...
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#6 of 19 Old 04-04-2007, 02:47 AM
 
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He's gaining weight right along with me.
He blames it on all the carbs in the house right now.
Yeah, that's one of my DH's favorite support roles too. Last time, he really got into the childbirth prep classes we attended. This time, to be honest, neither of us are doing much. He'll read stuff if I ask him to, but since I'm not reading anything baby-related at the moment, neither is he.

Oh wait. He was a nearly equal participant (equal to me, not DS, who played the starring role) in the recent potty training of our toddler. I'd call that preparation!
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#7 of 19 Old 04-04-2007, 09:16 AM
 
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My dh is reading right along with me. We also talk a lot of about my hopes, plans, and concerns. However, he keeps a lot more inside than I do so I am not completely sure that he is as excited about having another baby as I am. I think that when the baby comes that he will completely love him/her, but I think that he needs to see and hold the baby to feel as connected as I already feel.

We took all of our classes with baby number one, so this time around we do not have anything like that to get excited about.

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#8 of 19 Old 04-04-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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How is my partner preparing? Um... not at all. I think the only way to get him to spend any time thinking/learning about birth will be to enroll us in some childbirth classes.

Kate, mom to 7 year old Djuna and 4 yr old Alden. Missing our good friend Hal the cat who died June 2, 2010

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#9 of 19 Old 04-04-2007, 02:27 PM
 
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he's mainly just talking to the belly and running out to get my snack attacks.

but he is reading "so you're going to be a dad" and listening to every little bit of information i gab on about this baby business. he loves it.

went to a la leche league meeting last night, and he said, "is this something i go to?" i said, "no, honey, this is for me and my boobies to learn."

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#10 of 19 Old 04-04-2007, 04:18 PM
 
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How is my partner preparing? Um... not at all. I think the only way to get him to spend any time thinking/learning about birth will be to enroll us in some childbirth classes.
I HIGHLY recommend this tactic. I was completely convinced DH wasn't planning to prepare/ didn't care at all at times during my first pregnancy (hormones could have played a teeny role in my reaction ). Turns out he's just really scared of the unknown, and his reaction was to bury his head in the sand. We attended a GREAT 6 or 8 week class, and getting tons of information and hanging out with other parents to be was wonderful for him, and led to him doing a lot more reading and discussing things with me.
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#11 of 19 Old 04-04-2007, 05:09 PM
 
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How is my partner preparing? Um... not at all. I think the only way to get him to spend any time thinking/learning about birth will be to enroll us in some childbirth classes.
Same here! I think the only things he's doing at the moment are worrying and trying not to worry! This was a suprise pregnancy so its been an adjustment for both of us and I'm trying not to push him. I know that I'm more excited and feel more connected than he does. But I think for lots of partners, it probably doesn't really 'set in' until that kid is in their arms.

Childbirth classes will probably be good...for both of us!

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#12 of 19 Old 04-05-2007, 02:44 PM
 
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Well my dh has been at all of my other three births (1bc, 2 at home) and so I don't think he feels like he needs to do a lot of preparing. The main way he is preparing is to grow as big a belly as he can, figure out a million home projects he HAS to take care of before the baby comes and just being as nice to me as possible. I have gotten him to read his second parenting book of our 15 year parenting career so he is currently reading Unconditional Parenting. Our last son has changed him so much. He is much more easy going, fun and in touch. I am just so thrilled for all the changes that I don't care how he prepares. His main role will be to take care of the birth pool and he already knows how to do that. He is such a great husband and dad I feel grateful every day for him.
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#13 of 19 Old 04-05-2007, 05:04 PM
 
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He's preparing to hire a doula

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#14 of 19 Old 04-05-2007, 11:54 PM
 
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We took a Bradley class last time. I suppose we should pull out our stuff soon.

My dh is doing what I think is probably the most helpful thing in the world for me right now to prepare for this baby...spending LOTS of time with our little ones. He is even going in our guest room with my nursling every night for several hours so that I can sleep comfortably (for some reason he sleeps for dh, for me it is nurse all night). Since this pregnancy was a complete surprise, I am finding it hard to be super-excited like I was the past two times. This extra "me-time" is really helping me make it though and I find myself more and more excited as time goes on.

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#15 of 19 Old 04-05-2007, 11:57 PM
 
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I have gotten him to read his second parenting book of our 15 year parenting career so he is currently reading Unconditional Parenting.
Just wanted to say that this is a great book but mamas might want to read it while still pregnant. It's tough to get through on no sleep with little ones around. I wish I had read it long ago...even though it was still helpful when ds was 3.

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#16 of 19 Old 04-06-2007, 10:03 AM
 
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With my last pregnancy we did a wonderful "Birthing from Within" course. I'd love to do it again with DH as this really got him involved but we'll be moving to the Boston area in a month or two and I can't seem to find any classes out there. I've seen a lot of people discussing the Bradley method classes so I think we'll sign up for those. I am speaking to a potential home birth m/w today and will ask her to recommend someone. Other than that, DH really hasn't been doing any prep work. He's been trying to find a new job across th country and look at houses to buy so he's just really absorbed in all that.
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#17 of 19 Old 04-08-2007, 06:01 PM
 
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Along with growing a matching belly (actually I can't say that anymore, baby sure has grown this past week and a half so we don't match anymore)and for a little while matching boobs (luckily his have gone down and mine have had a growth spurt) DH has been reading up a storm. His books list so far is:

- What To Expect When You're Expecting
- The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
- Creating Your Birth Plan
- months 1-5 of The Sear's Pregnancy Book
- and one of his mom's old books A Doctor Discusses Pregnancy (this he read purely for laughs, thank goodness)

His reading habits are totally putting me to shame!!

He also searched the internet for birth videos. No, he corrects me, homebirth videos (he likes reading this page over my shoulder, not to be a nosey jerk but because he finds it amusing and we like discussing the stuff we read here). He says the best one was banned by YouTube which is stupid because there's "sex things" on there that you just need to click that you are 18 or older and it's weird that they would make them take it off. (Luckily they have a link to it elsewhere.)

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#18 of 19 Old 04-08-2007, 08:36 PM
 
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Arelyn- your dh is amazing! The way to get my dh NOT to read anything is to suggest something to read!! So I don't do that anymore. But he didn't prepare last time until the very end, and honestly I don't really know how much he did then, but listen to what I had to say, (if he was even really listening). Also, since we did a UC last time I think that he thinks that he is God's gift to birth. So he prob. doesn't feel the need to prepare this time around, (either!)
He did do good last time though. So I'm not really complaining

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#19 of 19 Old 04-08-2007, 09:03 PM
 
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He oversees bedtime and tucks in our 4 yo. That leaves me with our nursling and mdc.

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