How long is your DP taking off when baby is born? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: How long is your DP taking off when baby is born?
Not taking off at all 1 1.85%
day of the birth only (1 day) 2 3.70%
2-4 days 9 16.67%
4-6 days 4 7.41%
one week 8 14.81%
a week and a half 3 5.56%
two weeks 10 18.52%
three weeks 3 5.56%
four weeks 6 11.11%
five weeks 0 0%
six weeks 2 3.70%
> 6 weeks 2 3.70%
OTHER 4 7.41%
Voters: 54. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-21-2007, 12:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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DH wanted to take a week and I am begging him to take two, but he's saying he'll compromise and take a week and a half. It was the same with our first. I am really blown away and just wondering what everyone else's Dh is planning on doing, and also if you're disagreeing about it like we are :
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Old 06-21-2007, 12:27 AM
 
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My DH is taking two weeks off from his FT job. I am not sure about his PT job/paid internship type thingy. He would take more time if he could, but that time of year is busy for him (works on the computer network at a college). I would be okay if he took the whole first year off to help take care of DS1 who will be 2.5 ish when this baby comes. YIKES YIKES YIKES!
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Old 06-21-2007, 12:32 AM
 
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Last time DH took off two weeks and then worked part time for two weeks. It was also around Xmas so he had Xmas Eve, Xmas, New Years Eve and New Years Day off, too. It was great having him home.

This time I think he's just going to take two weeks. We just can't afford any more.

ETA: Oops! I didn't realize this was a DDC! I hope I didn't mess up your poll!
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Old 06-21-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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DH is planning on taking a few days (around 4 or so) off...but we will be living with my IL's at that point, so I will have plenty of support. My FIL is retired and my MIL only works 3 days a week. I was totally alone when DD was born, so this should be a piece of cake! LOL!

Seena, Attached Mommy to Jenna (4.5) and Skye (2), mourning my twin angels (M/C 12/09), hoping for a miracle and counting down the days until DH deploys to Afghanistan.
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Old 06-21-2007, 01:57 AM
 
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Dh is taking 2w -- and he's told the company he's interviewing with that he will need 2w even if he's a new employee with them.

Last time he took a week, and it didn't seem like enough time. I'd love for him to take 3 or even 4, but that's just not realistic.

My mom is coming for 2w after that, and I sincerely *hope* that having her there will be helpful. We can get on each other's nerves after a few days.

I'm hoping I go a little late, and then in November is Tgiving, and then Cmas, and then NYE...

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Old 06-21-2007, 02:12 AM
 
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we are a bit lucky in that he can take off quiet a bit of time. a while back his boss noticed that he tends to work more than everyone else and wanted to compensate him somehow so he asked for extra time off after the baby is born. plus he has 6 weeks of vacation time he needs to use up most of before the end of the year plus paternity leave. once he goes back to work he plans to work from home 2 days a week right now he always works from home 1 day a week but sometimes more often (and occasionally he can't work from some). we aren't sure how much time he can really take off because they do need him at work but he will take 2 months off if they can get by without him and he might work from home 5 days a week for a little while after that. this is our first and we are both nervous and overwhelmed and excited. anyhow he will have a lot of paid time off and we can afford for him to have some unpaid time. we miht be going overboard though i guess if we are he can go back sooner if he wants.

mama to two amazing children son 10/27/07 and daughter 07/07/11

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Old 06-21-2007, 02:15 AM
 
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DC was due the end of the month. DH took off the week before my EDD. Baby was then a week LATE (Born on Friday). DH was suppose to go back to work on that following Tuesday, but his GREAT boss gave him another week off!

Thanks Goodness!
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:23 AM
 
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DH typically takes off a few days altogether, then starts working again at least part-time. The thing for us is he works from home, so it's both easier for him to work and harder for him to take off! Someone suggested once that I have him take off a couple of weeks AFTER a few weeks - when baby's not sleeping well, things may get tougher, etc. Didn't really do that last time, and not sure how we'd manage it this time, either. But sometimes I do feel like I wish I could ask him for a full couple of weeks. It's great having him at least semi-available more of the time, though!

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Old 06-21-2007, 03:19 AM
 
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The Marine Corp is supposed to give 10 days of paternity leave and by then he will have 30 days of vacation saved up. We will probably use 3/4 of that and save the rest in case of emergency.

**Jessica:Mommy to Laynie Claire 10/22/2007 and Ryan Wesson 8/14/2009: Loving my Marine Colt**
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Old 06-21-2007, 05:55 AM
 
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I have asked DH to take off 3 weeks which he is going to do.

When I had DS he had 2 weeks off. I was in hospital for the first 8 days so we only had 1 week at home together.

If I end up going the week in hospital again I want my 2 weeks worth of DH especially because I'm going to need help with a newborn and a 2 year old

We're lucky here in Australia because we get 20 working days off as holidays. DH says that when he was in the US the standard was 10 days off.
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:29 AM
 
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I voted two weeks, though it's negotiable. My DH gets a lot of vacation time, so we've said two weeks IF everything goes as planned. But we have a lot of friend/family support for when he goes back to work.
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:40 AM
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I voted 4 weeks, but if baby, brother and I are all doing ok before then - he may go back early. We'll see.

He took 1 week when our son was born. We had just moved to a new city 4 weeks before the birth and he was new to his position (tho he had sick/annual leave with the company). I treasure that week-long BabyMoon we had as a new family. :

-zak- Mama to three fantastic sons - 2005, 2007 & 2010 and expecting a daughter February 2012!

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Old 06-21-2007, 09:58 AM
 
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I didn't vote, because we're not sure. Until this new job thing came up, he was looking at taking 9 months -- there is 37 weeks of parental leave in Canada, and I'm a sahm so dh can take all of it. He didn't take any time off after our first and second were born, as he was a student. Shortly before our third was born, we realized that he was working & had been doing so for long enough to qualify for paid leave (you get employment insurance payments when you take parental/maternity leave). He took 6 months off after our third was born. But he's starting a new job, and it's a 1-year contract with a good chance of it being renewed... but he's worried that if he takes a few months off, three months after starting, it will not help his chances of the contract being renewed. So, we're not sure what we'll do. The leave can be taken any time within the first year of the baby's birth, so we do have some flexibility that way.

As happy as I was about moving back close to family, that was the one drawback to the timing.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

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Old 06-21-2007, 10:35 AM
 
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My DH runs his own business, so it will depend. He may take time off or may not. However, his office is a five-minute walk from our house, so....
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Old 06-21-2007, 10:55 AM
 
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When we found out 1/6 to our surprize that I was pg w/ #2, I asked DH to save his vaca days for when I birth. Our DS would be 22 mos and I was petrified of how I could care for DS and a newborn. DH replied that he didn't want to "burn his vaca days like that." I was devastated.

Since then we've discussed it and he's reserving at least 1/2 his vaca days (5) for the birth. We've decided to stretch those days by him taking every other day off... like he'd work M, W, F and take T, TH off - that way 5 vacation days would be spread out over 2 1/2 weeks. I figure that way when he's at work, I can remind myself that tomorrow he'll be home and I'll have help. It's the, "I can do anything for a day if I realize I don't have to do it forever" thought to get me through the day.

When DS was born, DH had just started a new job. I had a sched C/S on Wed, he took Wed & Thurs, worked Fri (I was still in hosp) and then we had the weekend. I was discharged Sun and the plan was for him to go back to work on Mon, but Sun night was so bad that he stayed home - DS was up ALL NIGHT!! Fortunately I wasn't completely on my own though... we had a young girl who would come over at 6:30 am (when DH leaves for work) and just hang out in case I needed anything for the first week. She was great - wouldn't accept any type of payment, and it made me feel a lot less scared. Then my Mom would show up around 12 or so and stay till 3. Then DH would get home about 4:15. After that first week, I was on my own - the good news was that DS was born 10/26 - so we had an election day "holiday", Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years.

Daughter of the King, wife to a loving husband, mommy to DS 10/26/05, DD 9/16/07, and my precious gone to be with Jesus 12/09.
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Old 06-21-2007, 10:59 AM
 
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unfortunately DH's company doesn't count vacation/sick days until you've been there 1 calendar year. Any time he takes will be without pay and as the sole income that hits extra hard.

I'm bummed and wish he could take 2 weeks but it is what it is.....

wife to DH, Mama to DS "Bug" (09/07), and DD "Sprout" (01/11). 
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Old 06-21-2007, 11:00 AM
 
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The one good thing about DH's job is that he can often VPN (private network) from home. He has worked with the college for like 12ish years and actually has almost a year of vacation saved (he gets a ridiculous amount and doesn't use them ever). He usually uses comp time instead b/c he often gets called at home (nights or weekends). He also has 100+ sick days. He could probably take more time, but they would be calling here a lot anyway. I might see if he can do his two weeks, and then do half days (or work from home a couple days a week). I never thought of that, and I saw some of you mention that! Thanks for the great idea!!! I know I will need his help with my 2 year old boy.
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Old 06-21-2007, 11:05 AM
 
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Dh is taking 4 weeks and then going back for three and then taking 1 week. My Mil will also come out to help when we need her.

I love having company the first few weeks, it is nice to have someone to talk to. PLus, with 2 at home, dh will need to help take care of the kids.

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Old 06-21-2007, 12:32 PM
 
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Last time dh took off 2 weeks, whcih really was more of a nuisance that help. Cuz he loves his computer time KWIM?
I just like trying to get back to a routine soon after babe is born and can't have hubby hanging around teh house. One thing that's going to help this time is that he'll be on 2nd shift when our little one comes so I might be able to sleep in a bit more often. He'll stay home for a week this time. Mainly because he's only got 2 wks vacation left and his mom is planning to visit early Dec. No friggin' way I'm going to be alone with that woman. He needs to be home when his mother is here, or else I'm taking a vacation at my sisters
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Old 06-21-2007, 12:42 PM
 
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We were planning on DH taking a week off when the babe is born. That should be a great amount of time for bonding and settling in before setting back into routine. But we just found out that DH's work has paid paternity leave through his job for 2 weeks. So I am sure we will be doing that instead. I have a feeling that DH will be ready to go back to work when the time comes- he gets a little stir crazy being at home all the time.

We live next door to my parents though and DD will be 8 when Pandora gets here, so she is a great help around the house and with younger children. I also am very use to having several infants to take care of at once ( I use to work daycare with a 4 babes to one adult ratio ) one babe will feel like a breeze.

Unschooling Mommy of 3: Lilith (14), Panda (6), and Fox (4)
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Old 06-21-2007, 01:33 PM
 
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DH will take a week and a half or two weeks, most to all of his vacation for the year. We definitely won't be travelling for the holidays, so that helps. Last birth he didn't have enough vacation available so he took a week unpaid.
We'll have more help, though. MIL will stay around for a week or so, my aunt is going to come visit the first week of November, and my mom will probably find some time to spend with us. I want him home for bonding more than anything. And to give DD the attention she won't be getting from me.
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Old 06-21-2007, 01:56 PM
 
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My dh get's 2 weeks paid leave a year and 1 week sick, so he will take 1 week sick and 1 week paid. It's nice that 2.5 weeks later is Thanksgiving and 4 weeks after that he will get a week and a half off. They have a plant shut down between Christmas and New Years This is one thing we like about this company.
I'm actually thinking of asking my dad if he could come help with the boys after dh goes back to work. he has so much time and never uses it I might as well use him
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:02 PM
 
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Probably about 4 weeks. He's been saving vacation days for a while.

Depending on how things go when the new baby is born, he might start working from home during that time so that he won't have to use up all his vacation. When DS was born, he was planning to take 4 weeks but ended up taking about 2 1/2 weeks and then working from home for a few weeks. But we feel that it's good to have that 4 week cushion in case the new baby is higher needs than DS was, or in case the transition is difficult for DS or us.
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Old 06-21-2007, 02:03 PM
 
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My DP is an artist and his studio is behind the house, so he doesnt have to take time off; he IS off when he needs to be! yay!

This is a full-on partnership with the baby-raising and I expect him to do a lot work. And he will be the primary caregiver once I graduate in the Spring and start working full-time. It works out great for us!
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Old 06-21-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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My EDD is Oct. 17th and we're hoping DH can take 1-2 weeks off but he's currently in grad school for his teaching credential, working as a substitute teacher, then retail during the weekend (about 8-12 hrs) and thinking of assistant coaching freshman football during the Fall (Mon- Thurs). He'll take off work but will have to go to grad class and football practice. Since it's close to the Holidays too, I'm hoping he can take off an extra day or two for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.
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Old 06-21-2007, 03:48 PM
 
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I picked "other" because we are just going to play it by ear. Hopefully, everything will go straightforward this time, and he won't have to take off so much - maybe a week.
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Old 06-21-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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DH will be taking 4wks off. I am glad. DD will be exactly 2, and I will be having a scheduled c-section so having him there for recovery will be a huge relief.
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Old 06-21-2007, 05:35 PM
 
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Just a couple days...so much of his vacation time is already used up towards the Jewish holy days. Hopefully I'll give birth on a day he already has off so we can squeeze in an extra day or two.

Alicia + James = Gabriel (9), Uriah (7), Ayla (5), Noah (3), Azriel (1), and due Oct. 2011

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Old 06-21-2007, 07:18 PM
 
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DH managed to get 5 days off for DD. Unfortunately that was consumed by 2 days of labor and 3 days in the hospital post c-section. He went back to work on Monday, 2 days after I got back from the hospital with what can only be described as a classically high need baby. And me with abdominal stitches. I figure it will be the same this time. MIL came in every day for 2 weeks and did the dishes and threw the laundry in the wash. Which was great.

DH is self-employed and we are unfortunately having this baby during the busy season.

Now that my friends have had kids I think that I can count on them to come and take DD for a couple hours here and there to help out for the first few weeks at least. And I am stocking the freezer!
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Old 06-21-2007, 08:21 PM
 
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his work gives him 6 weeks paid baby bonding time.
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