How long do you stay "in" after baby? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 08:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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October is one of my favorite months, there are so many things to do. I love being outdoors and going to the local pumpkin patch things. So, how long do you stay "in" after the baby? I have seasonal depression (or I should say, my regular depression gets worse in the winter) and getting out a lot in the Fall is really important to me! I am in Illinois so October is chilly, but not cold. Not to mention will have a 2.5 year old that doesn't do well with being cooped up!
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#2 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 08:46 PM
 
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Well, I'm planning to do a laying in period of 2w, so I'm probably not the best one to answer this. However, I have read a lot about women laying in and going for a walk every day to get some fresh air. Personally I'm thrilled to stay in bed and nurse 24/7 while dh watches the 3 older ones. Yow. I'm going to have 4 kids, all under 5yo. : Maybe I'll lay in for 3w!

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#3 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 08:50 PM
 
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to be quite honest.... I only stayed in for about 5 days with dd. I was so in need of a nice walk by that point, so I went out on a walk with her. By about 2 weeks we were all over the place. I worked great for us, lots of baby wearing and resting for nursing though.

With October being such a crazy wonderful month, we will be pretty active after the couple of weeks. I will keep activity to a level that I feel that the baby and I are ready for. Halloween has to be celebrated, so absolutely out and about by that time.

Unschooling Mommy of 3: Lilith (14), Panda (6), and Fox (4)
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#4 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 08:53 PM
 
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We don't stay in at all really. We pretty much go about life as normal, adjusting for energy levels and such. We'll still have groceries to shop for that week, and if it's before Halloween, kids will want to trick our treat, which we do from a friends house (though I'm sure I'll stay at the house with baby and just let dad take the kids if so). With my first, I went out to ice cream the night we brought him home (I was SOOO tired of people coddling me, that was the perfect end out our evening as a new family for us)

I think just plan on taking it slow and do what you are up to. That's my plan at least
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#5 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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Im too social to lay in. I cant get people to come visit me after baby, I have to leave if Im going to see anybody.
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#6 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 10:32 PM
 
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Well for my part last time, I was laid up from the c/s for the first week. I tried to go out the 2nd week, but I got too tired! So this time I will stay low for the first couple weeks also, but october is nice, so I might go outside to sit in the hammock or see the neighbors!

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#7 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 10:36 PM
 
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we had DD out at target when she was 4 days old... as long as you're not letting a bunch of strangers touch the baby, I see no reason to stay in!

Christine, mom to C(7.5) - E(5) - J(3) - B(10 mos)

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#8 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 10:38 PM
 
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YumaDoula, you are doing the right and healthy thing! In the old days women were babymooning in bed for 6 wks, in Europe anyway.
I am planning on staying in for a week. Depends on the weather and how I feel. October in Nh can be anywhere from 30 to 70 degrees...
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#9 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 10:55 PM
 
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YumaDoula, you are doing the right and healthy thing! In the old days women were babymooning in bed for 6 wks, in Europe anyway.
I am planning on staying in for a week. Depends on the weather and how I feel. October in Nh can be anywhere from 30 to 70 degrees...
You are right, I'm sure it's much better for your insides to hang out in bed for those first 2 weeks in the long run, even if it's not so good for your sanity!: Luckily, I'm a home-body.

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

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#10 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 11:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I definitely plan to babymoon the first week home. I do have to participate for the Halloween festivities for DS though. I am hoping to just play it by ear the second week. If I feel like getting outside great, if I feel like staying in bed with my little bundle even better!! I am definitely not as active as many of you! I just love Fall, so even just sitting outside and enjoying the smells, sounds, and sight of it all is enough for me! It is getting really close.
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#11 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 11:23 PM
 
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depends on whats going on and how i feel i guess. this will be our first, and i'll try to make it to church within a week or 2, and we'll have to hit the grocery store- but dh can do that depending on what his schedule looks like then.... we'll see... im looking forward to buying one of those cute newborn halloween costumes though, so we'll have to go somewhere to show it off... baby should be getting close to a month old by then though

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
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#12 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 11:41 PM
 
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Are y'all talking about literally laying in a bed for two weeks, or just staying indoors??? I'm so confused.

Much to the stern disapproval of my mother (and stangers), we began taking Riley out and about at about 4 days old. I just couldn't stand being cooped up indoors and it did me a world of good to get out. And I couln't bear to be apart from her, so off we went.
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#13 of 31 Old 06-22-2007, 11:46 PM
 
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With my first child, I stayed indoors and didn't go anywhere for about 2 months. I was really worn out, especially after being in the hospital for a week. This time I hope to be out after 2 weeks. I would like to be able to go out a couple of times without 3 kids, kind of easy myself into it. :

Mama to 9 year-old girl , and a 7 year-old boy :, and my big little 6 year-old boy, and a 4 year-old boy
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#14 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 02:43 AM
 
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Thanks Mitt. Here's a MDC article about what I'm talking about.

Quote:
I was hanging out in my bedroom with Kate to really get to know her, to ease her into the world. This lying-in time was the first piece of critical business—creating for our daughter a strong foundation of trust and security. When I did feel a bit cooped up, I would go for a walk alone to get my ya-yas out, then return to our lying-in. I remembered that the lying-in time was not designed to torture me or dampen the joy we naturally wanted to share with others, but was helping me transition to a different season of my life, to tune in to my new child and to being her mother.

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#15 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 02:45 AM
 
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I am a baby wearing mommy and we were out and about by 5 days old. When you sling people don't usually ask to see or touch your child as they would if they where just in a stroller.
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#16 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 02:53 AM
 
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I plan to go outside and at least walk around as soon as my body is up to it. Even if it means walking outside for a few minutes (with baby in the Moby). I didn't want to go anyhwere without DS either and I felt like he was pretty secrure and "eased" into things by being in the Moby. He slept right through all of my early and very short expeditions in the first month. My vulva felt so bruised, I didn't go very far.
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#17 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 03:54 AM
 
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I haven't kept "in" completely with either for very long. In fact, we went to the crawfish boil at our church when DS1 was 5 days old! : DH said he was going with or without us, and I figured sitting out there with the baby in arms wouldn't be that much worse than sitting at home. Being 5 days past a c/s meant it wasn't a brilliant idea, but I took my body's cues and took it easy.

I'm with Ashley and will want to be at church at about 2 weeks pp. This does NOT mean passing baby - we won't do that at all. I'll hopefully have him/her snuggled up in a Hug-a-bub and no one will touch.

As for getting out beyond that, it'll be pretty much whatever my body feels up to. I know after my first VBAC I felt GREAT in the first few weeks. My Lyme symptoms returned after about 3 weeks, I think, so it got rockier then. But for those 3 weeks I felt like I could do *anything!*

I do totally love the babymoon idea, though, and the idea of specifically setting aside time to bond with baby... sigh... so I'll have to juggle it all.

ETA: I forgot about the great farm nearby that we went to last fall. We had such a great time! I want that to be a family tradition, so I expect we'll take the baby out in October or November to visit the farm and let the boys have a wonderful time. Thankfully they're open till Thanksgiving, I think, so we can wait a few weeks. But that's not something I'll be skipping!

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#18 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 04:57 AM
 
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well, I have an exam to sit 23 days after my due date, so I suspect I will have to be out by then!! (I know, it's ridiculous)

but other than that, baby-mooning sounds lovely to me. I love being at home!

finally midwife mama to my home-birthed nurslings: Noemi Sakura 16.10.07 & Seder Pádraig 13.7.09 and partner to their lovely daddy
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#19 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 01:57 PM
 
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We'll be back living in the Netherlands by the time this one is born, and I'm really looking forward to the traditional two-week 'kraamweken' bonding and rest time with the baby. NL is really an ideal place to have a baby; homebirth is totally normal, and the midwives will come to your house to do the new-baby tests (heel prick?) and check up on mom. Plus, you can get a baby-care nurse for super cheap. I'm sure some people use them to take care of the baby, but we (and a lot of others) use the nurse to take care of the house/ pets/ guests so that we can focus on the baby.
It's pretty much just a given over there that the new family will stop whatever else they were doing and just be together. I think it's easier to do over there, because people are more accustomed to rests/vacations, and have a different perspective on slowing down. It suits me perfectly, as I am a homebody book-addict, and will just nurse, sleep and read.
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#20 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 05:59 PM
 
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I'm with Ashley and will want to be at church at about 2 weeks pp. This does NOT mean passing baby - we won't do that at all. I'll hopefully have him/her snuggled up in a Hug-a-bub and no one will touch.


i gotta make sure to get a sling before i go back.... our church has a lot of elderly ladies, and i dont know about this one (ive only been going about 2 months or so) but at the church i went to between ages 5 and 20, good luck keeping your baby, lol... i would take the little ones i was baby sitting (my nephews, and friends kids, from tiny infants on up) with me, and sometimes id have to stand up and look around to figure out who had the baby i dont really mind it so much with a slightly older baby, but no pass the baby with a newborn

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
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#21 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 06:10 PM
 
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I don't think there is a certain amount of time to stay in. I'll stay in and snuggle with both DS and hubby until I feel ready to go out. I live on a farm so I'm sure I'll take daily walks. I know with DS #1 I felt so overwhelmed that all I did was nurse/eat/sleep. I do remember getting excited to go to the grocery though I will certainly go pick out a pumpkin with DS and I will keep New Baby in a sling. Since I'm breastfeeding I don't worry too much about sicknesses.
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#22 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 07:19 PM
 
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I went out on day 6 for a short trip because I was feeling a bit of cabin fever and felt *great* and went out a few days after that for a short grocery shop. I tried to stay in but it was hard. I ran to the video store at about 9 days old without the baby (because I didn't want to disturb him) but I got very emotional and raced to get back (about a mile drive). I don't like to be separated from my babies! Now at almost 3 months we are out 1/2 or 1/3 days for a good chunk of time. I do a lot of business lunches and meetings still. The sling is wonderful for cocooning him in these situations. I started going to the gym once a week without him for 90 minutes (Daddy has him at home) and that has gone ok but I really despise the separation - there just isn't another way to get to the gym and I really need it!
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#23 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 07:31 PM
 
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My new babe is due in the first couple days of October, so Halloween will still be an option.

I don't even remember exacly what I did with DS, I was in the hospy for five days (C/S, anemic), then was pretty sick for a long time, complications and antibiotics and rehospitalization and stuff, and we had company at least once a day...I did go out too, I can't recall how much.... also to a lot of dr visits I remember : ...

This time I have a fantasy of not leaving the house for at least two weeks while DH has off work and our family gets readjusted (my LO will be not quite two)--ppl will want to bring meals and gifts and see & touch the baby, but I'm feeling kinda protective this time, so prolly we'll "allow" close family to come w/limits (and meals haha) and maybe no one else for a week or two...just get to know baby and let my body rest and stuff. We'll see what we actually do tho.
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#24 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrflowers View Post
We'll be back living in the Netherlands by the time this one is born, and I'm really looking forward to the traditional two-week 'kraamweken' bonding and rest time with the baby. NL is really an ideal place to have a baby; homebirth is totally normal, and the midwives will come to your house to do the new-baby tests (heel prick?) and check up on mom. Plus, you can get a baby-care nurse for super cheap. I'm sure some people use them to take care of the baby, but we (and a lot of others) use the nurse to take care of the house/ pets/ guests so that we can focus on the baby.
It's pretty much just a given over there that the new family will stop whatever else they were doing and just be together. I think it's easier to do over there, because people are more accustomed to rests/vacations, and have a different perspective on slowing down. It suits me perfectly, as I am a homebody book-addict, and will just nurse, sleep and read.
Gosh, good for you girl! How I miss Europe
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#25 of 31 Old 06-23-2007, 10:51 PM
 
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Annika,
I miss Europe, too! Which is good, because it will give me the motivation to move overseas while rather pregnant. There are so many good things about society there, and raising babies is somewhat easier. The tricky part is that homeschooling is illegal in NL, but there is a way to do it, so we'll still be able to keep hs-ing the kids.
Lukas is our son's middle name!
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#26 of 31 Old 06-24-2007, 05:33 AM
 
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I'll be aiming to stay in for 2 weeks if I can rearrange my mid-term exam schedule. If not, then DH and baby will be going to college with me. Either way I told him that they need to be with me for at least the first month.
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#27 of 31 Old 06-25-2007, 10:26 AM
 
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It will totally depend on how I feel/how the baby is. Last time, I felt like I was tied to a chair for 2 weeks because we had issues bf, and I don't think it did me any good physically (though I really had no choice of course). DH had to encourage me take short walks to get air and get my body moving. I wish I had been able to get out and about earlier and hope I'm feeling up to it this time/that baby and I get off to a great start bf. I am planning to get a sling so I can take baby and have him close but not keep DS #1 cooped up. I hope Oct. is nice and we can enjoy the weather while it lasts.

I remember taking DS for a walk at around 3 weeks last time, and met this guy in the elevator who asked about the baby, and then said he had a 3 MOS old and they hadn't taken him out yet. I felt like there was such judgement in his words, that he couldn't believe I'd take my tiny baby out on a lovely Sept. afternoon.

I do recall having to find a ped at the last minute and rushing to see her a few times to make sure DS was gaining weight, and that was stressful, so this time I'm so glad to have a m/w that will come to us in the first 6 weeks.

I dunno, I don't feel like there should be a right or wrong answer on this one, esp. until the babies are actually here!
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#28 of 31 Old 06-25-2007, 10:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I dunno, I don't feel like there should be a right or wrong answer on this one, esp. until the babies are actually here!
No right or wrong answers! I was mostly just curious. It seems like many people in my area think you should stay in for like the first year or so!
I think just doing what works for you and your baby is the way to go! I am really hoping for a little more relaxing bonding time with this baby. I really felt like people were here all the time with DS. He was my first too, so I was too stressed to relax when I had the chance!! I know better now and I really hope that makes a difference in those trying first few weeks!
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#29 of 31 Old 06-25-2007, 12:52 PM
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I haven't read all the responses yet but I took my first good walk with the baby in the baby bjorn and the dog on a leash at 17 days. I went out before that but not for too long. It depends on if you tear and have stitches etc... Ds was July baby so it was warm. You'll have to monitor yourself. The less intervention you have during delivery the better off you are imo. I went all natural so I wasn't sluggish from an epidural or anything. If you can take short jaunts and rest while your dc runs around you should be OK.
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#30 of 31 Old 06-25-2007, 01:31 PM
 
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With my first we had lots of visitors. My mom was also in the hospital. Actually went the same night I did so we visited her at 1 week. at 4 weeks we went to my local amusement park. That wasn't a good idea, I started bleeding all over again He was born in July

With my second we went grocery shopping the next day. It had to be done Dh just wore him in the sling so no one could touch him. We did get a few dirty looks. I did take it easier but we went on outings as a family. He was born in March.

This time around our local zoo does a trick or treating thing and I figure dh will take the boys to that while I stay home. I plan on getting out for walk and taking it easy, but once my 6 weeks are up I am off to the treadmill! I get the dumb seasonal depression as a pp. I am scared to death of RSV. I have so many friends who have gone through it and they did all bf exclusively. I plan on getting a pouch this time around and when we go to family Thanksgiving activities and Christmas stuff, she will just stay in the pouch and no one will hold her. I keep trying to figure out when we'll go back to church. Who knows. I am a bit paranoid about the whole winter baby thing. But I do plan on getting out, my kids can't stay cooped up all winter!
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