Belly Touching - yay or nay? - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-29-2007, 05:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So what do you all think of friends, family, and even strangers touching your belly?

With my first, NO WAY BACK OFF. With my 2nd and this time it's no big deal.

I came across a Dear Abby about it and one of the responses was this:
Quote:
In my culture (Hispanic), it is considered good luck to touch something you admire so that no harm comes to it.
I thought that was so lovely! It reminded me of when a Hispanic woman was speaking Spanish to my little blonde white daughter, looking at her with absolute adoration, and caressing her cheek as she passed by. Some ppl might be totally weirded out by that, and I admit it was different, but something about that woman got to me. I knew she had nothing but absolute love for my little girl even though we had never seen her before or since. I wonder if the above explanation is why the woman reached out to my dd.

I think it is very sweet when ppl come up and rub the belly. And it cracks me up. I make jokes about rubbing for good luck. Guess in the Hispanic culture that's not far off from the truth.

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Old 06-29-2007, 05:26 PM
 
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LOL, we are blond and live in a predominantly Hispanic area - aye, yi yi! I can't even go through the grocery store without being stopped on every single aisle so someone can rub my kids' heads! I'm really tolerant and understanding about it, but it does get exhausting.

I don't like people touching my belly - ack. Nobody tries that here, but maybe it is because they are too stuck on the kids. Hopefully, it's not because they just think I'm fat! LOL. But I'm not touchy feely with adults - kind of weirds me.
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Old 06-29-2007, 05:32 PM
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NAY - to strangers!

EH (not YAY!) - to friends/family. I don't LOVE it, but some people have never touched a preggo belly before... so I oblige sometimes.

-zak- Mama to three fantastic sons - 2005, 2007 & 2010 and expecting a daughter February 2012!

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Old 06-29-2007, 05:38 PM
 
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I say nay to strangers- it would just feel wierd. Strangers don't randomly rub people's belly's, so why do they have to do it to pregnant women?

As for family and close friends- I guess. I wouldn't say no, but it's only happened once and she was rubbing my belly before I even had the chance to process it! I joked with my dh about it later (he's the only one that really touches my belly but it's his baby too ).
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Old 06-29-2007, 05:41 PM
 
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Family are okay. Actually, women in the family are okay to touch the belly (except DH, of course!). With DD, DH's father touched my belly and I was more than a little uncomfortable with it.
Women I know are okay to touch the belly.
Strangers, no way! Step away from the belly.

Jessika, wife to Turbo, mommy to Codi (12/04), Kayce (8/08), Colten (10/10), and a new little stork-suprise.gif coming 12/13 .

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Old 06-29-2007, 05:44 PM
 
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I didn't mind

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Old 06-29-2007, 05:52 PM
 
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I'm not in your DDC but my first thought was "only if I can slap their hands!"

Jenn
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Old 06-29-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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Ive been preg 4 times. I dont think anyone has ever asked, really. And if they did, I said yes and if they didnt ask and touched anyway, I dont remember it.

LOL
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Old 06-29-2007, 05:56 PM
 
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No one has tried. I don't leave the house very often, though.
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Old 06-29-2007, 05:57 PM
 
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Sorry not in your ddc but I love to lurk and remember what Im in for in the near future. Anyways I dont mind most people touching the belly but for my last pregnancy I worked in a resteraunt for a few months, a place I had worked off and on for 10 years.
So I worked with this 21 year old guy who was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. He was 6' 4'" totally buff with cute hair and a little tuft of chin hair and he was in love with my belly! Did I mention he had dark hair and dreamy dark eyes?
He would come up to me and rub and caress my belly (after he asked if it was ok...kudos) and call me "sexy mama" and "gorgeous" or "Beautiful" everyday. I basked in the glory.
I felt that I was doing the world a service by telling and teaching him how to treat his future babies mama. I would tell him the inadiquacies (sp nak) my husband had and told him things like "if your wife cant reach to shave and she asks you to help, just smile and say, "sure sexy mama" and he would say oh yeah of course, I never thought of that.
He learned to be kinder to all the women we worked with and was genuinely in awe of pregnancy.
He was never inappropriate btw just perfect and I felt sexy!!!! Man if I were 10 years younger...well not really but I did have some great pregnant crazy dreams with him in them!
Angela
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Old 06-29-2007, 06:29 PM
 
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HELL NO. My belly bites.

Candy, Mom to Matthew (5/02) and Ethan (10/07)

Trying for #3 starting 5/13

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Old 06-29-2007, 06:50 PM
 
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nay for strangers, but they've done it anyway.
nay for anyone but they all still do it anyway I have already had people touch my belly with this one, mostly when I was like 16 weeks. After they did I told them "you know that's just my fat, right?" The baby wasn't high enough. She still isn't high enough
It creeps me out but so does hugging some people. I figure if they really want it, then why not
Sometimes I have grabbed my mom's hand or friends hand to fill the baby moving, but that's different
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Old 06-29-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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Yay. I like the attention.
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Old 06-29-2007, 07:05 PM
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I read the same article yesterday. I thought the responses were funny. I did appreciate the traditional response from one culture (forget which) that said if you put the hand of a beautiful person on your belly while you are pregnant you are passing on that beauty to the child.

I've never had anyone touch my belly besides my husband so I don't really have an opinion. When I was 9 months pregnant with ds people finally started noticing that I was actually pregnant! Oddly, when I walked the dog with the baby neighbors I'd never spoken with came out of the woodwork. I guess they'd been watching for months and waiting.
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Old 06-29-2007, 07:33 PM
 
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when you get as big as me in pregnancy you have no choice, people just run to the tummy. lol I too live in a HUGE Hispanic community and they all love Allison's curls.
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Old 06-29-2007, 07:44 PM
 
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Strangers - NO WAY! People/men that I know but not well, no. I had one neighbor (older male) just walk up and put his hand on my stomach before I knew what he was doing and it was really startling. He meant well, but it freaked me out.

Friends and friendly co-workers (female), yes if they ask first! I have one friend who's thinking about getting pregnant and I let her feel if the baby's kicking.
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Old 06-29-2007, 08:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelaB View Post
Sorry not in your ddc but I love to lurk and remember what Im in for in the near future. Anyways I dont mind most people touching the belly but for my last pregnancy I worked in a resteraunt for a few months, a place I had worked off and on for 10 years.
So I worked with this 21 year old guy who was absolutely drop dead gorgeous. He was 6' 4'" totally buff with cute hair and a little tuft of chin hair and he was in love with my belly! Did I mention he had dark hair and dreamy dark eyes?
He would come up to me and rub and caress my belly (after he asked if it was ok...kudos) and call me "sexy mama" and "gorgeous" or "Beautiful" everyday. I basked in the glory.
I felt that I was doing the world a service by telling and teaching him how to treat his future babies mama. I would tell him the inadiquacies (sp nak) my husband had and told him things like "if your wife cant reach to shave and she asks you to help, just smile and say, "sure sexy mama" and he would say oh yeah of course, I never thought of that.
He learned to be kinder to all the women we worked with and was genuinely in awe of pregnancy.
He was never inappropriate btw just perfect and I felt sexy!!!! Man if I were 10 years younger...well not really but I did have some great pregnant crazy dreams with him in them!
Angela

Lol. Now why didn't I get people like that rubbing my belly

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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Old 06-29-2007, 08:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2bluefish View Post
LOL, we are blond and live in a predominantly Hispanic area - aye, yi yi! I can't even go through the grocery store without being stopped on every single aisle so someone can rub my kids' heads! I'm really tolerant and understanding about it, but it does get exhausting.
Yes!! We're in South Texas - I totally get it!

Do kids rub your belly? And how do you all feel about kids touching? I've had some kids touch, but not many.

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Old 06-29-2007, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Codi's Mama View Post
Family are okay. Actually, women in the family are okay to touch the belly (except DH, of course!). With DD, DH's father touched my belly and I was more than a little uncomfortable with it.
Women I know are okay to touch the belly.
Strangers, no way! Step away from the belly.
Oh, interesting point! I'm ok w/ most women. Men, definitely not.

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Old 06-29-2007, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vicitoria View Post
I read the same article yesterday. I thought the responses were funny. I did appreciate the traditional response from one culture (forget which) that said if you put the hand of a beautiful person on your belly while you are pregnant you are passing on that beauty to the child.
Yeah, I thought that one was interesting! Phillipines, I think.

Quote:
I've never had anyone touch my belly besides my husband so I don't really have an opinion. When I was 9 months pregnant with ds people finally started noticing that I was actually pregnant! Oddly, when I walked the dog with the baby neighbors I'd never spoken with came out of the woodwork. I guess they'd been watching for months and waiting.
Awww!

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Old 06-29-2007, 08:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ericswifey27 View Post
Lol. Now why didn't I get people like that rubbing my belly
I know! We should all be so lucky!!

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Old 06-29-2007, 08:56 PM
 
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I've only had 2 people touch my belly so far, ever, and they've been in this pregnancy. I'm sure I exuded a general "F*** OFF!" vibe when I was pregnant with Emily because I was ready to yell, "DON'T TOUCH ME, I DON'T KNOW YOU!" and I think people might have picked up on that, lol. The first time someone touched my belly was at a Disney outlet store where I was asking about the Peter Pan activity mat they had (to see if it was on sale.) I was maybe 12 weeks along, the clerk and I were talking, I mentioned I was pregnant, patted my belly, and she went right along with it. She was Hispanic, so maybe it was a cultural thing, but I almost thought she saw me touching my belly as an invitation, so I didn't get upset or anything. The other person that touched my belly was just yesterday. We just got back from vacation yesterday, were getting ready to go to the grocery store (no food in the pantry, ack!) and dd was walking with dh to take the trash out. We met some neighbors and I told the woman I was pregnant and she asked to touch my belly, I said sure and she did. She couldn't believe I was pregnant until she touched and saw my shirt was only a little bit loose.
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Old 06-29-2007, 09:17 PM
 
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NO WAY to strangers, ick!!! :
Family or close friends, I like them to ask, I guess, or if I invite them to if baby's kicking a lot and I want to share it with them. I don't like family members to just run up and do it without saying anything. Close friends (women) who have kids and I've touched their bellies when pregnant, also ok.
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Old 06-29-2007, 10:27 PM
 
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I like the affectionate attention

But in saying that, I've only been rubbed by my fellow (midwifery) students and their kids so far. I suspect strange men would ickify me!!

finally midwife mama to my home-birthed nurslings: Noemi Sakura 16.10.07 & Seder Pádraig 13.7.09 and partner to their lovely daddy
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Old 06-29-2007, 10:54 PM
 
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As long as people ask I'm ok as long as they do't start kissing like my crazy mil
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Old 06-29-2007, 11:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As long as people ask I'm ok as long as they do't start kissing like my crazy mil
Ew. That would bother me.

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Old 06-30-2007, 12:18 AM
 
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I dont let anyone touch the belly besides immediate family and it has mostly been my girls because they are curious. DH has touched it to but i dont really like the belly to be messed with
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Old 06-30-2007, 03:08 AM
 
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I don't mind so far, I think it's sweet. I liked touching other bellies before I was PG. I definitely like it better when they ask.

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Old 06-30-2007, 04:32 AM
 
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In theory I don't mind, but when it happens it feel so strange to me. No one touches my belly for any other reason (except DH and DS) any other time so it feels strange to have someone rub my belly.

I like it when DS and our little neighbor touch it, it is so cute. DS used to kiss it every night. Now he says, "no, no, no" when I show him.
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Old 06-30-2007, 07:50 AM
 
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The Japanese go nuts about my daughter's hair, it's super curly ringlets. They all touch her constantly. No one that I don't know has touched my belly yet, but to be fair, I still don't look that pregnant. I don't care if people do though, I wish we were all more comfortable touching each other.

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