Other kids at birth - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 12:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What are everyone's plans for this? I wasn't planning on having my boys there because when I was in labor with my second, my dad kept bringing my first in the room during contractions and I couldn't handle the distraction. I got upset with him once and he just wanted his mommy. He didn't talk to me for a week! He was only 19 months.

This time around I figured they wouldn't be there. I thought I would explain to them what mommy would be doing and had them watch a couple videos so they could see mommy would make noises, will probably cry and scream. So they watched the videos and told me they don't want to see mommy do that but that they want to crawl into bed with mommy and baby after she comes out.

Anyway, I was just wondering what others were planning and what others have done.

Oh and by the way, I told dh on IM that a lot of girls had their babies on here the past couple days and there must be something in the air. He said "I guess you're just not breathing the same air" He's a little anxious. I think mostly because he doesn't want to go to work but he's also getting sick. I'm filling him and the boys with Vitamin C.
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#2 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 02:46 PM
 
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I will not let my kids attend. They're 3 and 5. They couldn't handle it and I don't have anyone to keep them distracted/comforted since dh is my labor support. I might feel different if I was birthing at home and let the older one decide whether or not he wants to stay but I will deliver at the hospital and won't drag them with me.
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#3 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 05:25 PM
 
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I don't want DS around either. He's 23 months. I'm going to have DH take him to my grandmas as soon as the doula arives. I just don't want to deal with the distraction. I need to feel comfortable doing what I need to do to get through contractions (make noise, hum, scream, what ever) and I would feel inhibited if I thought it might upset my baby.

Amanda, mama to Owen (11/05) and Connor (10/07) and Aria (12/09) Recycled Wool Longies and Reusable Baggies
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#4 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 05:31 PM
 
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I'm having a hb and plan on my kids being there. I have a babysitter set up, and a back-up sitter just in case. We'll see if I want them actually in the room.

I think it's really important that my kids experience birth as normal and not some mysterious thing where they have to go away and then they come home and there's a new baby.

That is, if I EVER go into labor... 5 days past edd and counting... not a ctx in sight... not a twinge... I even sneezed twice in a row today and didn't pee myself.

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mom of twins.gif (8)  blahblah.gif(5) thumbsuck.gif (3) and baby.gif born at home on Christmas day! 
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#5 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Erika, that was mainly why I had them watch the births. They thought it was really cool to see the baby come out but they didn't like the sounds. They freak out when I cry. Granted they are 3.5 and 5 like mittendrin's kids.
I would love for them to be able to see her come, but they just seem to want to. Maybe with our next one

This is so interesting to think about though because it would be kind of nice for them to be able to experience it all. They've watched their own births and they can watch this one off the video too

Oh yea, I'm having a hb. I do wonder about school with my older one. he might just be at school and come home to a baby anyway!
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#6 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 05:57 PM
 
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Last time my 9 yr old was there and had no problem. In fact, right after DD was born, he held her in the computer chair next to the bed for about 10 minutes while DH cleaned the bedroom and I showered, before settling in for our babymoon.

This time, we'll have 2 yr old DD and now 12 yr old DS with us. We birth at home unassisted though. I wouldn't have either of them at the hospital because I'd be too afraid of them getting bored and then getting into something when we were otherwise occupied. Plus I'd care what other people thought if we were elsewhere or had someone attending, and at home, with just family, as long as nobody gets hurt I don't care so much how wild and crazy they get. I can just put DS on the computer w/ some video games and DD in front of Gerald McBoingBoing on the TV and they'll be zombies as long as I allow it.
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#7 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 08:38 PM
 
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We are planning to have DD, 33 months, here for our homebirth. We have a friend coming over who is the "DD Doula" and will be able to keep her occupied and take her out of the house during labor if needed. This person lives 2 blocks away so DD will be able to hang out there if needed. We will also have 2 midwives and an apprentice who will be here and if baby comes after 10/15 (edd 10/19) my mom will be here too.

We really want DD to experience the birth, and we have done a lot to prepare her. This includes watching animal births and people homebirths on Youtube, reading tons of children's books about pregnancy, labor, birth and babies, talking a lot about what labor and birth are going to be like and practicing being in labor. We scream together! She has been "giving birth" to her dolls in the past few months, so I think some of it has sunk in. Even so, we realize that it may be too much for her or for me when I'm in labor, so hopefully we have worked in enough flexibility in our plan that she can be here or not depending on how it goes. Even if she is not there for the birth we have talked about some things she can do that are important "jobs". She is "in charge" of counting the baby's fingers and toes after he or she is born and she has said she wants to watch the cord cutting which can be arranged whether she is there for the birth or not.
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#8 of 12 Old 10-11-2007, 11:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sounds to me like your dd is really ready. I would love for my boys to watch, but they just are so worried about mommy. I can't wait to hear what your dd thinks.

That's a good idea to have that job for them. I'll have to see what they think about that
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#9 of 12 Old 10-12-2007, 12:04 AM
 
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I have been watching birth videos with my 28 month old. He loves them - he calls them "mommy baby movies." =)
I'm very very lucky to have a friend who is really close to my son and lives about 2 miles away. She'll have him for the birth and I trust her to determine whether he can take being in the room or whether she should take him to the park or to her place.
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#10 of 12 Old 10-12-2007, 02:20 AM
 
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I so want to give birth in my own home and I want my 3 1/2 yr old to be as involved as she wants to be, but espcially I want her to be there as soon as the baby is born. I'd love for her to see a natural birth in person. We watch birth videos too and she gets a kick out of them. It would mean a lot to me to have her see "her baby" come into the world. But my mom will be here specifically to take care of her.

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

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#11 of 12 Old 10-12-2007, 12:51 PM
 
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my DD (2.5 yrs) slept through the whole thing which ended up being great. I called my friend who was going to be DD's support person and she ran into traffic on the way over (at 5 am!) and she arrived shortly before DD woke.

orngbiggrin.gif mom of three with stork-suprise.gif on the way

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#12 of 12 Old 10-12-2007, 03:28 PM
 
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I have a 6yo and an 8yo, both girls, who have watched some videos and we've talked about it... I'm having a home birth so they'll be here... I bought a cake mix and some icing so they can make a birth-day cake for the baby while I'm in labour and they have lots of stuff to do in their room and crafts and movies so I've left it up to them if they want to come in to the room or if they want to hang out elsewhere in the house... they're both very excited and want to be the first ones to find out if it's a boy or a girl... I think their curiousity will get the better of them when the baby is actually on its way out but for most of the labour, I think they will busy themselves...

I'll have 2 midwives and a student here for the birth and a friend coming for labour support (I'm single since June) and my sister will be here as well and she'll keep an eye on the munchkins... I have a couple other friends who said to call them when I go into labour, but one is kind of nervous about coming and the other has a baby at home herself so it sort of depends on the timing...

however, today I'm officially 39 weeks and am hoping it happens this weekend!!!

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