postpartum venting... no help - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-17-2007, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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nak
mom was supposed to help, she flew here 3 weeks ago to help, like dinner, dishes, but no, she did it when I was preg for a week and now I NEEEEED help I didn't when preg nearly as much, I didn't pre-cook meals to freeze b/c she said she would do my meals, I actually have almost no food in the house, dp sux at shopping..... dd1 is a terror and I DONT think this tandem nursing was such a great idea, dd1 HATES waiting, I don't like how it feels even, its fine when baby nurses but not dd1, so I end up making dd1 get off b-4 she would like to and that sometimes makes her cry and she says things like, "you hurt my feelings!"
or "you make me sad!"

DP fell the night after I gave birth, lost 3 front teeth, we used our mortgage money to buy false teeth, which look false.... not too bad but the gums don't match his gums, apparently they only make gum color for false teeth for white people.
Dp will not wear the false teeth at home so that means I will rarely see him w/ front teeth, he is so diff sounding and looking in a bad way.... :
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Old 10-17-2007, 01:26 PM
 
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Oh jrayn. I am so sorry so much seems to be weighing on you. I wish I could come help you out.
I remember the first weeks of tandeming were the hardest. I can truly sympathize.

Is your Mom still there or has she left? Is there anyone else who can help you out?
Thinking of you Mama~~ lotsa .

natural birthin', baby catchin', cloth addicted, intactalactavist mama of 12/00, 6/03, 10/07, 8/10 & our angelcubs three
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Old 10-17-2007, 02:04 PM
 
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Ugh, you poor thing. BIG
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Old 10-17-2007, 02:32 PM
 
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Oh my goodness, I never thought about gum color on false teeth! That's ridiculous they don't come in colors! I hope everything settles down for you soon!
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Old 10-17-2007, 02:38 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're having such a hard time hang in there.

I understand about the shoping could you make a list or shop online for them to deliver?
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Old 10-17-2007, 03:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Is your Mom still there or has she left? Is there anyone else who can help you out?
She is here, just she stays at a house that is 45 mins away, she comes in the morning, visits a bit, then leaves. She does take me to apptments which would be a nightmare alone..
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Old 10-17-2007, 04:37 PM
 
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She is here, just she stays at a house that is 45 mins away, she comes in the morning, visits a bit, then leaves. She does take me to apptments which would be a nightmare alone..
Could you make a 'little list' for 'yourself' of things you really need to get done and tell her you are feeling overwhelmed and ask her to help you with it a bit? Do you feel comfortable doing that?

More Mama.

natural birthin', baby catchin', cloth addicted, intactalactavist mama of 12/00, 6/03, 10/07, 8/10 & our angelcubs three
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Old 10-17-2007, 04:39 PM
 
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Gawd I'm so sorry. That all sounds horrible. I'm finding that taking turns is working with nursing both DS' and sometimes letting them both nurse at the same time. That totally sucks about DH's teeth! That would piss me off, it does piss me off actually!
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Old 10-17-2007, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Some of the women from my local mom group are going to bring dinners to me!!!!!! When I announced the birth someone that had offered before to bring a dinner, re-offered and I swallowed that pride and accepted!!!
They really don't even know me that well, I haven't been able to participate in many play dates so it is really amazing!

Of course when she came my mom was there visiting and my mom makes, I am guessing it was an attempt to be funny comment, "well you are just being waited on hand and foot aren't you?" :
(While my kitchen is full of stinking dirty dishes and living room a mess, rest of the house to match)
I think my mom has multiple personalities.....

Feeling much better though!
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Old 10-18-2007, 03:16 AM
 
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So sorry you're having such a rough time! I'm glad your mom's group is bringing meals, though - yay! Our church always arranges for meals for families with new babies, and it's such a blessing. Enjoy it - no pride swallowing needed!

HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys:  reading.gif 03/02; modifiedartist.gif09/04; sleepytime.gif 09/07 - and Eliana, babygirl.gif 11/13/10!  
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Old 10-18-2007, 10:17 AM
 
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The first weeks are so hard. I remember being totally overwhelmed with DD1. I'm glad that you're getting some support now.

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Old 10-18-2007, 10:31 AM
 
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Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. It sounds like you are going through a rough time, shame on Mom, she should know you need the help more now! I wish I was back home in Lake Mary, I'd come clean your house for you!

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

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Old 10-18-2007, 11:58 AM
 
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The moms from your Mom's group can all remember and relate I'm sure of it. We've all been there and know how amazing the help and attention can be.
Lots of love today jrayn.
Enjoy your dinner!
More too!!

natural birthin', baby catchin', cloth addicted, intactalactavist mama of 12/00, 6/03, 10/07, 8/10 & our angelcubs three
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Old 10-18-2007, 12:32 PM
 
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I'm sorry things are so difficult. How strange that your mom was all helpful before and flaking out on you now. That must hurt.

Mom to DS(14), DS(12), DD(9), DS(6), DS (4), and DS(2)  

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Old 10-20-2007, 03:56 AM
 
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Okay, jrayn, now you're making me feel happy I'm still pregnant for once.....:
sorry that things are so tough right now, and that DP's teeth got jacked. I know it's gotta be tough having a newborn and a toddler who wants your attention ( and your milk!) and I'm about to find that out firsthand, too, as DS is still nursing and my mom's going to have to leave, quite possibly before the baby even makes it out! But don't feel sheepish about asking or accepting help! We women love to help each other (especially those who are fresh moms and know how valuable it is to be served!). Hang in there, mama, you will have good stories to tell down the road.....
JJ
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Old 10-20-2007, 12:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrayn View Post

Some of the women from my local mom group are going to bring dinners to me!!!!!! When I announced the birth someone that had offered before to bring a dinner, re-offered and I swallowed that pride and accepted!!!
They really don't even know me that well, I haven't been able to participate in many play dates so it is really amazing!

Of course when she came my mom was there visiting and my mom makes, I am guessing it was an attempt to be funny comment, "well you are just being waited on hand and foot aren't you?" :
(While my kitchen is full of stinking dirty dishes and living room a mess, rest of the house to match)
I think my mom has multiple personalities.....

Feeling much better though!

The power of women is an amazing thing! I am so glad that they are bringing food for you...Take ANY help that is offered. I know this can be REALLY hard to do but think of it as your "village" coming to help you out. I would have been so physically and emotionally lost without my mommy group! Wish I could be there to help too!
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