Sad news on the homefront....UPDATED 7/21 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 67 Old 07-22-2007, 12:37 PM
 
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I agree with your mom -- TIME

NOW -- 3 little kids, prgant with number 4, sick, hormonal ... is not the time ti make decisions UNLESS they are madatory for your safty......

I have felt like leaving DH, and a we have had some HUGE fights .... all about money ... as if trying to maintain TWO homes is gonaa HELP THAT and the stress we both feel and all the various fears (DH is, again, beyond fear of my death in child birth -- wher the fear comes from we don't know, but it over takes him each time and he gets impossible)........

with all the fears, spoken and unspokesn, all the stress.......

this is such a HARD time........

try to find even 5 minutes a day to rest, shower alone... whatever.

Do you and DH go to church, could you get some counslouning there?

hang in there -- one day at a time, one thing at a time.....

Aimee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#62 of 67 Old 07-22-2007, 04:52 PM
 
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Hubby and I had a few rocky years initially (been together over 7 years) and it WAS hard with a big family while we were trying to still get to know each other. Even now, constant communication and changes because I demand a good marriage and not just living together, you know? So I totally understand how these things can hurt the marriage and you need time to think and time to work and communicate. You deserve a great marriage, so keep going for that or eventually get out.

I always told hubby never let me make major life decisions before May. I was a New York native and had Seasonal Affective Disorder most of my life. May is when the sunshine comes back in NY and therefore when I could clear my head and not make rash decisions. Pregnancy is similar... a season of hormonal fluctuation that makes it very hard to make huge decisions and think clearly!

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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#63 of 67 Old 07-22-2007, 09:13 PM
 
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no matter what nicole, i'm here... (((HUGS)))

joy.gifproud solo vegan mama to fambedsingle2.gif dd, 9 spitdrink.gif & ds,4  moon.gif. "it is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness" -chinese proverb  candle.gif

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#64 of 67 Old 07-23-2007, 09:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by chrysalis View Post
no matter what nicole, i'm here... (((HUGS)))

I hope all is going better for you too mama-Thanks for the love and support. It truly helps.
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#65 of 67 Old 07-23-2007, 04:42 PM
 
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Nicole, I understand what you said about not having much alone time to get to know each other better from the start. DH and I knew each other in HS, but didn't meet again until much later. We moved to Texas after 4 months of dating, were engaged two months later, preg 3 months after that and married within a year of starting our romance. DS was born 7 months after we were married and it's been a whirlwind ever since. It has cause some hard times for us too. Him feeling like there were certain sides to me that he didn't know about (my crunchy/natural side ) and we are still trying to work through those things.

So no real advice but a lot of love and hugs. We are all here for you no matter what you decide to do.

Proud mama to DD#1 (11) DS (4) and DD#2 ( 2 )
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#66 of 67 Old 07-23-2007, 05:33 PM
 
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Wowee. I thought we jumped into marriage and kids fast but you guys really were quick!!! But, no matter how much time you wait before marriage, and then before kids, you are never really prepared, kwim?

Kids change things, and bring up a lot of things from your respective childhoods, not to mention mama's feelings of being torn between dh and dc.

And the hardest thing is, once they're there, you can't go back and start again because this little being (or three and one on the way) NEEDS you.

Nicole, take LOTS of time for yourself (and Cora) and be gentle with yourself and your family. It is your decision, and I am glad that your mom and dh are willing to help you--make sure he sticks to it--and you can figure this out in your own comfort zone.

(((hugs)))

Proud mommy to DDs (12/04) and (11/07)
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#67 of 67 Old 07-23-2007, 05:40 PM
 
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, Sweet Mama.

As long as you and the children are safe, taking time to connect with your highest self...the still, small voice inside of you...and really listen...sounds like a very wise decision.

You are not alone, Nicole.
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