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Lets Talk Money!

995 views 34 replies 10 participants last post by  wwisdomskr 
#1 ·
With a new baby on the way and so many of us having other issues, like afording Longies, not to mention car repairs and moving, I though I would post this here:

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com...SixMonths.aspx

My husband sent that to me by the way. Yes, I need to work on a budget and savings. LOL I need to do a whole new budget, old one was lost and new bills and such now. I am honestly scared! LOL Am I the only one?
 
#2 ·
I am panicking about money too. I can't even stand to be apart from my dogs when I am at work- when this baby comes I have to figure out what I am going to do! I have to work, at least part-time. It looks like DH and I are not going to be seeing much of each other- daycare is SO expensive and I don't want to leave our child with anyone else other than our parents!

We also have a car payment, medical bills, a home equity loan... UGH! Why did I get myself in debt?

I am going to read that article...
 
#3 ·
financial issues have forced my DH to swich from a SAHD (working PT from home telecommuting) to a full time out of house job with travel and an hr commute each way when "local" . It will bring in more $$ but will also seriously escalate our expenses (another car, more gas, childcare, infant care, clothing budget, lunch every day for him.. etc etc..) we hope it will work out.. we are really nervous..

I think I will feel better when I find someone I am happy with for infany care (no family option for us and big box daycare is NOT an option (non vax and my late hrs)... we are praying a lot...

we feel VERY fortunate that Dh has been home for 8 yrs with the boys, it has been really great.. but it has to come to an end *sigh*

good luck
 
#4 ·
Luckily not much is changing right now, even with #4 though at first buying slings, diapers and other baby gear we're hurting a bit.

Once baby is born though, an illness could hurt us severely. Clothing and another mouth to feed when baby starts eating is a concern. But otherwise, the first few years won't be too hard on us, I HOPE!!!!

When this child starts school though. Ugh. Clothes, events, food, birthday gifts for friends, sports, etc etc etc etc! But when this one is 6, my oldest will be 18. Depending on what's going on in his life, he may not need us much financially, so it will almost be like having three kids to support again instead of 4. Who knows what the future will bring.
 
#5 ·
We are self employed, DH has a home business and while I'm proud that after only a few months of starting his business we are covering all of our bills, but that's about it. We have to get food stamps, WIC, and Medicaid to make ends meet. I know that this business is what we are supposed to be doing, so he's not out there looking for something else, but man is it hard to be patient sometimes with the growth. Sometimes I feel deprived because I never get to spend any money, but then I just think 'oh there could be much worse things happening' and I am thankful!
 
#8 ·
Ugh yes. We are completely and totally freaked out right now. Our landlord is raising our rent by $100 per month at the end of August but has promised to freeze it at the new rate for 2 yrs. I will be leaving work unless by some miracle they give me the hours that I've asked for (9-3) AND allow me to keep my pay and benefits.

DH makes decent money, but there are times when we go without as it is now. I can't imagine losing my salary too. But we've figured out that if I do work, even putting the kids in a home care instead of a center would leave me working 40+ hrs a week for under $5 and hour. Just not worth it. We are counting on gov help to come through for both WIC and health care if not energy assistance and a few other things too.
 
#9 ·
Well, we just bought a 2nd car today...
: We've survived with just one for many years, but we need more seats and would have gotten virtually nothing for a trade-in. Our first car will be paid off in the spring, so we're just going to squeeze through the next 10 months with 2 car payments. We got a really good deal and 0% financing... It should be delivered sometime this evening!

We decided when dd1 was a baby (after I had worked outside of the home for a couple of months) that it is a high priority for us to live off of one income alone and to always have 1 parent home with our children. Dh totally supports me in my work and academic pursuits...if he could be the stay at home parent, he would(!)...but we rely on them only for my personal growth, enrichment, spiritual callings, etc.

I have to be honest with myself and other, though...the reason we are able to do this and live the lifestyle that we do is that dh is an officer in the military and an academic. So, we have good pay, good benefits, ultimate job security...plus he gets grants, etc, for his research.

We don't have any savings to speak of...don't need to save for retirement...we do save for the kids' college, etc. We rely on our home equity and on credit (and family) for emergent large expenses. We are temporarily comfortable with this...because our children's childhoods are temporary...and we trust that we will be able to build savings, etc, and pay off debt when the kids are older. Dh is really diligent about keeping the credit cards paid down and/or off...so we try to have mostly "good" debt.

Anyway...I think this article is ridiculous for those of us who have young children. If parents choose not to be at home with their kids, so be it...I totally support them and think that their kids should have access to safe, affordable, quality childcare. But, I get tired of hearing about how much money I should be saving, etc. No amount of money could ever come close to the value of being with my kids while they still want to be with me!

One mistake that we have made and will be changing is that we haven't had disability insurance for me. We have really struggled financially during the times when I've been really ill (like my pregnancies) or injured. For example, having to eat out, not being able to shop frugally, needing extra childcare assistance, etc, etc.
 
#10 ·
We don't qualify for wic
It sure seems like we should because our debt-to-income ratio is high. But our debt is crappy, credit card debt and medical debt mostly. We are pinching every penny right now- I did have the initial investment of cloth diapers but at least that will save us money in the long run. I may have to start pimping DH out...
I don't want to worry about money, I just want to stay home and enjoy the baby! Luckily my boss is very flexible and has offered me a job whenever I am ready to go back, at whatever hours I want to work...
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by marisa View Post
Thanks!
He is a graphic designer and t-shirt screenprinter. He has a shop set up in our garage.
If you guys need more customers you might want to try hyenacart.com as I am others love getting cloths there!
 
#12 ·
Money is something I try really, really hard not to think about!

I am a teacher, and will be taking the rest of the school year off after the baby is born...which means late Oct/early Nov to the following September with one income. I feel more than a little sick just thinking about it.
 
#13 ·
I think the value in the artical and the group is one I need right now. I need to save, I need to pay down debt. Too many enlisted soldiers get in over our heads and declare bankruptcy, we know too many personally. Not to mention the peace of mind that comes from having just a little savings. We have NO family at all to help us and most of our military friends as I have said are in the same boat or worse! Granted, we are not too worried about retirement thankfully.

I am really feeling a pull to get the budget solid and savings, just a little every pay check, all set before baby gets here. We can aford some things now but when hubby is home again, pay for us will go down, something the same as the working mamas here.

We CHOOSE to live on a single income so I can stay home with our kids and homeschool. That means things are going to be harder for us but worth it. It also means I need to work hard on making our money work for us! This living month to month thing is for the birds!
 
#14 ·
AARGH. Now I am really stressing about money. I don't want to do that. We got a home equity loan at a low interest rate to pay off a credit card, a loan, and do some much-needed home repairs. The money is diminishing because we got a vacuum cleaner, a chain saw, paid off a high cell phone bill, bought wood for the winter... I feel like I am drowning again in debt. We did get our loan paid off but not as much of the credit card as we wanted... I am trying to work some extra hours but standing at work really takes its toll on my back. And of course I don't want to put the baby in any danger at all... I am going to try to keep socking money away and get the rest of this krap paid off. *sigh*
 
#15 ·
Hubby supports my staying home, even though he always thought (when he was young and single) that he would be doing a business like music lessons and staying home with kids himself.

But even supportive, he stresses about money. Of course when we're running low, but then all the time too and that's when I think hubby would be less stressy about money if he wasn't influenced by the guys he works with.

They drive the corporate guy cars, they have huge nest eggs and investments and blah blah blah. They have been on this track since birth it seems, don't have families young or before having their first house, have only 1-2 kids total, etc.. But still, hubby sees them talking about money and feels like we should be there.

I am stressy about money too and often feel trapped. But there's NO way I could afford daycare here ever! It's $225 to $250 a week for one child. My friend was just paying $1,000 a month for childcare! And as my mother has witnessed and said, "I don't know how you could ever work with the school calling all the time, the meetings, appointments and everything else you do."
 
#16 ·
(((Gina))) maybe it a blessing most all military we know are poor too! Less of that feeling that we are behind those around us. I am sorry this is really hard for you right now.

Like someone else here said though, maybe better to be behind now, raise the kids, and then catch up when they are out of the nest.

I told someone Sunday who said I should have a degree and thinks I should have a job and not stay home that when I old, I will not be thinking about what college or jobs I had but family!
 
#17 ·
That's what I think. Honestly growing up in NY it's always about the job and I REALLY needed my parents to be around. So here I am and someday they will be gone from the house and I don't want them or us to regret anything!
 
#18 ·
Well, money... We seem to be spending a lot of it this summer in preperation to dry the "mad money" well and buckle down and save after a few big things. We're going on a real, big vacation for the first time since we've been married meaning I get to be back home for two whole weeks! I justify the expense that if we weren't going, I would go mental. I NEED to be out of this state for a while. I haven't been home in four years! Also, we're kind of talking about buying another car. It would be a few years old, like the one we have now but it would be able to fit two kids and stuff.

DH is a WAHD and I SAH. (He makes websites and a bit of graphic design and print work- not actual printing, like designing business cards and logos). He's actually just figuring out how to structure his business to where he makes more money the less he works so he has employees even! Two years ago when he quit/was let go/was replaced by someone in India at his "regular" job we were struggling so hard to have him start up a business that was 100% him doing the work. Our house was actually starting to go into foreclosure! We hit just the perfect trend in the housing market and sold our house for a huge profit and paid off ALL our debt, bought a car outright and paid for a year of rent at the new place... like that article said, any money in your checking account just gravitates towards your wallet. We decided to do the responsible thing and just pay for everything we knew we were going to end up paying for rather than do the inevitable by pecking away at the money set aside for somethng


As far as waiting to save (man, I wish I knew the exact numbers) Say a couple starts putting $Y into an IRA at age 25- by retirementthey will have made many times over what a couple who doesn't start until they are 35 but puts away five times as much. Even a little bit now makes a big difference.... now to actually do it!
 
#19 ·
I love this thread! Makes me feel like i am in good company. My mom has announced that, since I am having the first grandchild, she is moving in with us. DH and I were at first having coronaries about it but now the more she says it, the better it sounds! She lives 3 hours away. My dad is retired and he could help us work on the house... OK, maybe if they come stay with us for a few weeks that would be good till I can get my bearings. Then they can go. But having a babysitter for free would be great.

I agree though about being around for appointments and stuff. I can't imagine trying to balance a job plus doctor appointments, play groups, a baby with a cold that needs my attention.. and then when she is school aged, music lessons, soccer practice, girl scouts... whatever.
: I have to come up with some sweet WAH job. I wonder how i would do as a phone sex operator with a barking dog in the background and a crying baby!
 
#20 ·
I am not really sweating it. We have savings and live below our means. We learned the hard way about that. Being this is the 5th baby and my youngest is only 16 months, I have basically everything I need. I am buying new diapers for this one though and we need another Britax but other then that we are set.
 
#21 ·
Maybe my last post was my guilty conscience talking...
I completely agree with the value of saving and the time factor of it. I'm using it to the fullest advantage with my kids' educational savings accounts and mutual funds. If dh was not an officer in the military, with his particular commission, we would be saving for retirement with a ferocity. Right now, supporting him in his career is my savings account...in a couple of years, even if he tried to leave me, I will be legally entitled to 1/2 of his retirement for the rest of my life.

Anyway, in our situation, we've taken care of retirement and don't have access to the kind of savings returns that are higher than the interest we pay on debt. So, we focus on keeping that low and manageable and using it to our advantage. For example, we use our cc all the time and have over 100,000 airline points. We are saving them for extensive world travel with our kids. We try to stash a tiny little cushion each month, and I save for birthdays, holidays, etc. That and the kids' college savings come directly out of our account.

Dd1 is saving for horses and she's been working really hard at it... She's 6, it's been less than a year, and she's already got $400 in a special easy start certificate.

Saving does help to contribute to a feeling of abundance when things are really, really tight.

Having my little holiday fund grow a bit makes me not feel so deprived about the extra day to day expenses and needing to skip on most unbudgeted things...

I guess it was the amount and the time of the article. Saving $200,000 in 6 months! But, again, I guess it's just a matter of priorities, right?
 
#22 ·
Did I read it wrong? That 200k was what 60 women manged to all save combined eveb thought they are all in the red. I think it showed the need to save hile still in debt and that it can be done!
 
#24 ·
We live below our means and yet still have no money. It's infuriating. I have old, hand-me-down furniture that embarasses me, I rarely spend money on things like Starbucks, I buy only what we need clothing-wise, etc..

Must sit with hubby and start badgering him about a new budget again. I am so not looking forward to it!
 
#25 ·
((((GINA))))

I do not have a great deal of things, every time we move we try to re-home as much as we can. We dream of living simply. This can make us look poor to others I guess. My goal is to have a few items of value, quality, lasting. This will take a lot of time. My next big purchase needs to be a fridge. The one here is very very very old and the land lady made it clear that it is not under the rent and if it dies, it is our issue. So I am going to start a small savings account just for the fridge like I have read about doing.

I get a lot of our cloths second hand, same as diapers. I do not like cloths and so I rarely shop for myself, this drives my fashion friends nuts but such is life. When I need to make myself feel like myself, I dye the tips of my hair bright pink, that is my fashion! (I have long dark hair with bleeched ends) My first surrogate daughter told everyone her specially mommy has pink hair, and since she told me about that, I often make my hair pink in some way to remind myself of her, and who I am. Cloths might not fit, but at least I can feel like me!

Oh goodness I am rambling.

Tomorrow LES comes out (Tells military what we are getting paid in the next pay period.) They mess up pay so often for us I am waiting on it to do my budget.

On a happy note, I did get my sons cloths done. Sure I will find more though. LOL

Blessings,
Kimmy
 
#26 ·
I like to live pretty simply myself BUT as materialistic as it sounds, I guess the Taurus in me is connected to my possessions in a way that makes me feel safe and at ease. So things that break down or are torn or old (and not in a cool, antique sort of way) make me anxious all the time. Possessions are comfort and while I don't require a lot, I seem to require that what I do have is of quality.

For instance, I would rather spend money on clothes I KNOW to be quality, but less of them than if I were buying cheaper items. And sometimes quality isn't a huge price tag, either! Like I know I can get affordable t-shirts from LLBean for my son's required school uniform that last beautifully all school year and still look almost new.

Same with furniture, cars, etc.. I want nice looking, quality items. It makes me feel better about life
For the past few years my van (the one that just died for good) has been having problems left and right and it's made me SO anxious when driving, especially without my husband.
 
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