Why I Love My Partner - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-16-2007, 01:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, we bash our partners and bitch about them a lot, and I am certainly no exception, but tonight my husband did something that I so appreciate. He talked me out of another sewing project. His exact words were, "Honey, you need to STOP sewing and just be done, or things are going to start getting ugly."

I argued a bit, but then relented. And crossed it off my list. And felt so RELIEVED.

What small thing(s) has your partner done lately to make your life a little easier?
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Old 10-16-2007, 01:41 AM
 
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What a nice thread! DH painted my toenails on Saturday night

Lisa, mama to A (3/05) and R (11/07) and L (8/10)
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Old 10-16-2007, 01:44 AM
 
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Well, it's not so small. The last couple of weeks, I wake up and my hands don't work. Seriously, I can't close my hands past a claw shape, because the numbness and pain are so bad! So my husband gets up early and massages my hands and arms for 30 minutes to help restore them to minimal functionality. (True working condition doesn't occur until about 2 p.m. each afternoon). Also, he has suggested that we do the grocery shopping together so he can do all the driving, carry all the food, push the cart, etc. He's also given up all his outside activities so that he can drive me to appts. He's a sweetie

Rebekah
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Old 10-16-2007, 01:50 AM
 
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Dh puts on my socks for me now.
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Old 10-16-2007, 02:06 AM
 
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It's 11 pm and my DH is cleaning/scrubbing the kitchen after working hard all day long. I sat in bed basically all day to rest up for a busy day tomorrow.
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Old 10-16-2007, 02:18 AM
 
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i thought about making a similar thread earlier today, erica! great minds think alike, apparently.

i will be back tomorrow, though, with my appreciation list. right now i wish my partner could finish grading papers for me so i could go to bed.

robina. unschooling mama and midwifery student.  building my nest with my husband, our daughter (born at home 11/07), our son (home waterbirth 5/10), and our newest little girl (born at home 4/13)!

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Old 10-16-2007, 04:14 AM
 
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He lets me use the pillow I bought for HIS present. It's by far the most comfy pillow we have, but he's letting me use it and he always makes sure I have a pillow for my legs.

Also, if we're sitting on the couch together and I need to get up, he always helps me up.

He doesn't allow me to carry heavy things.

He's offered to do foot rubs to help with swelling.

He brings me home chocolate candy every once in a while.

Stacie (34)
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Old 10-16-2007, 04:46 AM
 
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He makes such a big effort being patient with the kids.
He cooked dinner last night.
He shares our last beer with me.
He keeps his mouth shut when he should.
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Old 10-16-2007, 06:35 AM
 
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What a nice, uplifting thread idea! It's good to remember why they're our partners in the first place...

Last night, he cleared the table after dinner and put away or rinsed stuff off without being asked. It's small, but for a guy who works 60+ hours a week and for whom I always make the dinner and do all the cleaning up afterwards, it was a sweet gesture.

When we're out of the house, he does 99.9% of the taking care of DD (i.e. she sits next to him at restaurants and he deals with her, he takes her to the potty, everything like that -- I'm basically off duty when we're out) and he does about 50% when we're both at home. He's so great with her, and with the new baby coming I know that'll be invaluable.

He got me a kitten this year for Mother's Day. I had wanted a kitty for a long time, but he doesn't like cats, and he even still got it for me while knowing full well that he would have to do 100% of the litter box duty for the rest of my pregnancy (6 more months, at the time). Five months later and I still can't get over how unselfish that was of him.

Oh, and he doesn't complain too much about living in a "meat locker", which is what he calls our house because of how cold I've been keeping it for the last several months.
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Old 10-16-2007, 08:21 AM
 
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My sweet dh is amazing... I know we're supposed to just include little things...but I've been boo-hooing about him being gone Monday-Thursday every week, so I need to make a bigger list and be grateful for what I have!

He has always done *at least* 50% of cooking, cleaning and laundry...usually more... When I've been pregnant and postpartum, he's done almost 100%.

He wears and holds our children so much that people (who only see us when he is home) make comments about how they never see me carrying them! Yes, he has his OWN slings...

He does at least half of all baby and child work when he is home...and tries to do even more than half to make up for the time when he's not home.

He never asks questions or hesitates when I tell him that I have reached my absolute limit and need him to take the children so I can have a break.

He always handles all nighttime newborn changes and burping so I can just breastfeed and sleep.

He insists that I have enough help with the children and in the house when he is away.

He insists that I rest as much as possible when he is home.

He hasn't batted an eyelash about the cost of our homebirth, birth tub rental, supplies, etc...even though I could birth for "free" at the hospital.

He never says a word about me buying things or spending money on myself...although we always talk about things costing more than $50.

He refers to his apartment as his "camp" instead of "home" because it hurts my feelings.

He helps me put my shoes on.

He helps me in and out of the bathtub and makes my herbal "cocktail" for me whenever I start having contractions.

He makes sure that I'm completely comfortable before he falls asleep.

He helps me get up out of the bed 4-5 times a night, when he's home, for bathroom trips.

He's working his tail off in the lab so that he can be in town and at home starting at 37 weeks through about 3-4 weeks after the birth.
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Old 10-16-2007, 09:18 AM
 
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Great thread! I wanted to flog my husband yesterday (long story but he knows how mad I was) so maybe last night he was just kissing my butt- whatever it takes.

~he got home from work after a 12-hour day and fixed the furnace, vacuumed the whole downstairs, and brought all the baby stuff upstairs
~he cooked dinner AND did the dishes
~he told the restaurant owner he did NOT want me working more than 6 hours a day under any circumstances

That last thing really surprised me- I think it is easy for people who aren't pregnant to think we are "milking it" or being babies but he really has been good about doing extra things for me. I love him. Often times I want to paste him one, but I always love him.

Kerri, mom to Doran  angel2.gif  (born still 7/6/05 at 33 weeks), Mairaed (11/16/07),  angel1.gif 11/15/08 at 10 weeks,  Kieran (11/2/09).   angel1.gif 1/11/11 at 15 weeks
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Old 10-16-2007, 09:28 AM
 
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He does wonderful things all the time, but my favorite has to be from back in the first trimester. At the time I was in grad school, so my schedule was a lot more flexible and I did most of the household chores before getting pregnant. Once that miserable 1st tri fatigue set in, I felt like a total lump who contributed nothing to our family and made him work all day long outside the home, then all night inside the home.

One day I apologized for getting nothing done (AGAIN!) and he looked at me like I had three heads for ever being worried about something so silly, then said, "But you're growing a baby for us! The least I can do is the dishes."

DS (2) and someone new in March 2011
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:39 AM
 
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-He works two jobs, so I can stay home
-He gives me massages
-He's gotten really into birth and parenting research so we are of the same mindset
-He's making me dinner tonight before our birth class
-He pretty much does all my calls and never shames me for my phobia. (This isn't just during pregnancy)

Aimee
x2 11-07 and 12-09
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:37 AM
 
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my DH went back to work so I don't have 100% of the financial burden anymore...

other than that he ahs basically ignored the fact that I am pg except to complain about it... *sigh* ... he was so great when I was PG with Evan (planned..)

OH this is supposed to be a POSITIVE thread... hmmmmmm..

OH he DID offer to sell his beloved Medievil Madness pinball machine for extra $$... so far he has not had to...
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Old 10-16-2007, 11:47 AM
 
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Aww, this is a great thread.

My DH works his tail off so I can stay home with the kids. He loves our children and is a wonderful daddy to them. He rubs my back, feet, and belly. He always asks how I'm feeling, how the babies are doing, if I'm having contractions, etc. He helps me out of bed when my pubic bone pain makes it too difficult.

Catholic Homeschooling mama to DS (6), DD (4), twin DDs (2), DD (7 months), and someone new 7/31/10!
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Old 10-16-2007, 01:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oskie View Post
"But you're growing a baby for us! The least I can do is the dishes."
Oh, that's soooo sweet! And something all men should have programmed into their brain.

Stacie (34)
DH (34) ~ DDs (14, 11, 10) ~ DS (6) ~ (11/06) ~ DD (3) ~ DS (1) ~ Surpise BFP 7/2011 pos.gif

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Old 10-16-2007, 03:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sorteep View Post

OH this is supposed to be a POSITIVE thread... hmmmmmm..
Hee hee. I have to admit that I'm getting a little jealous of all the mamas with foot-rubbing, child-caring hubbies... maybe I need to look harder for the good things. Or maybe when I start a thread like this I need to specify that they *really* need to be little things to as to prevent petty jealousy and the desire to trade spouses with ones DDC members.
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Old 10-16-2007, 04:39 PM
 
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He is REALLY supportive of this depressive funk I am in....

Rubs my back almost nightly.....

Brings me sweet treats without me asking.....

Bathes all 3 kids without me asking.....

Consistently does the dishes....

Had me write a list of little things I need so he can pick them up (ie baby needs like some more socks, washcloths etc)

ALWAYS ALWAYS helps me up-guides me to my seat with his hand on my lower back etc....


Goodness I really do love him a lot......its been a long road.
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Old 10-16-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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I have a teeny tiny one:

He is super excited about putting the carseat in the car. Like little kid on christmas excited. I love that he wants to meet his daughter so bad.

Aimee
x2 11-07 and 12-09
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Old 10-16-2007, 04:54 PM
 
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He's picked up all of my slack this whole pregnancy, and never complained about it. In fact, he often tells me to go sit down, he'll finish making dinner, doing the dishes, etc.

He's cleaned the cat boxes every day, and any time I say, ew...it smells, he runs and does it that minute.

He's working his tail off to get a business going so I don't have to go back to work and we can both work on it from home.

He rubs tummy butter on my belly every night.

Whenever I complain about getting stretch marks or feeling huge or that my legs are getting thick, he tells me how beautiful I am.

He rubs and massages whenever I ask, and when I'm grunting and groaning in the middle of the night trying to turn over or get out of bed to pee, he always asks if I'm okay.

He came to the laundromat to help me fold when I finally got around to washing all the baby clothes, and commented that folding baby clothes was fun!

He pushes, lifts, hauls, or carries everything, without me asking.

He's actually made up with and found some common ground with my father, something that's been a huge point of contention between us.

Thank you for starting this thread. It's so easy to complain, and it's not like we never fight or have difficulty, but he's really been a complete dream through all of this. I feel terribly lucky.
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Old 10-16-2007, 05:50 PM
 
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Well at first I was jealous of all you ladies. Hubby likes to sit around and play computer most of the time. But he is doing a great big thing for me.

He is willing to move us to the opposite coast so that I can live near my family. Even though he hates it there and hates moving and will have to quit his job and find another one.
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Old 10-16-2007, 06:01 PM
 
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I've started to tear up and sniffle at work because of this thread.

DH has been really good about not commenting on the fact that I have suddenly lost all self control with regards to finances and seem to be indulging in large purchases (at stores, on the TP, online etc) regularly. Somehow buying that $8000 used minivan instead of a brand new $38000 one has caused me to shop compulsively.

DH has also been trying to make sure that our kitchen renovations create a minimum of dust and noise and that at any given point in time, the kitchen is within 24 hours of being put back into a functional kitchen.

And finally, he's very understanding of how exhausting it is for me to be a SAHM on my days off work. He knows that parenting is work too and has been trying, whenever possible, to give me a break, it's just hard because DD is very much still in her 'mama' phase and he is trying to work on projects around the house that I can't do.
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Old 10-16-2007, 06:06 PM
 
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I love this thread, because I feel like my husband is the greatest!

For...

...finishing the "baby laundry" after I started it and got too tired.

...cooking dinner sometimes, and trying to learn how to make more than a sandwich.

...telling me to take a day off when I need to.

...helping me lift the heavy stuff.

...laying on the floor so I can stretch out on the couch when we watch TV.

...always telling me I'm beautiful.

...thanking me constantly for carrying the baby for us.

Mama to one darling and wild 3 year old, and growing a tiny new June Bean.
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Old 10-16-2007, 10:40 PM
 
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My DH bought me a nursing stool. I know its just a little thing, but we don't have a lot of spare cash right now (I quit my professorship, so we took a huge income hit and are really tight living on just DH's salary), so we haven't been making many unnecessary purchases. He knew that with DD I always wanted one. I have an old wooden rocking chair and it is pretty uncomfortable, plus it is too narrow to fit my Boppy and such to make nursing more comfortable. We can't afford one of those fancy padded chairs and ottomons, so DH bought me a wooden nursing stool to go with our existing chair without even telling me he did it. Very sweet little gesture.
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