Is an emotional breakdown a sign of labor? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 10-31-2007, 03:23 PM - Thread Starter
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So yesterday I went to see the MW and she was kinda perplexed by the fact that I have been having such strong contractions for a whole week and haven't made any progress since then. I'm still 1-2 cm. I'm not in any hurry to have this baby, but on three separate occasions the contractions have been so strong and so regular that we were sure it was it and started to get things going, only to have the contractions slow down or stop altogether. We're not talking BH here--I have had contractions so bad that I couldn't move and couldn't speak or breathe. They were definitely the real deal.

At my appt. my MW said that it's not fair for anyone to expect me to work so hard for months and months to keep this baby in until full-term--I've done it all with the herbs and the self-hypnosis and everything--and then turn it all around in the span of a week. She thinks there may be a mental/emotional reason that my body tries to go into labor and then it stops.

After the appt. I just started crying and couldn't stop. I cried all afternoon yesterday and all morning today. I am so scared of the changes to come. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of the relationship I have with my DD, I feel like I'm leaving her, I am terrified of not being able to love this second baby or give her the attention and complete devotion I have been able to give to my DD, I had horrific PPD with her and don't know if I will be able to go through another long year like that again, and most of all I just feel like I won't possibly be able to open my heart enough to love this new baby like I love my DD. I keep feeling like everything I do with my DD might be our last time together as just the two of us, and it makes me cry! This might be the last time we play outside, the last time I put her down for a nap, etc. It's so melodramatic!

I know, I know--it will all work out, I will be able to love them both equally, I will not be able to imagine our family without this new person, blah, blah, blah. Hearing that really doesn't help. On an intellectual level, I know that it will be OK. Maybe I just need to process all this before my mind and body will let me release this baby.

Has anyone else gone through this? Either the fears about baby #2 or the general emotional meltdown? Does this mean anything about labor? Is there some hormonal shift that happens just before labor or something? Or is this just my mind and body's way of forcing me to deal with this now instead of after the baby is born?

Thanks for reading.
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#2 of 7 Old 10-31-2007, 03:26 PM
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nope, not a sign. lol I had that Sunday and still no baby. lol
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#3 of 7 Old 10-31-2007, 03:57 PM
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i have had my share of breakdowns::

i think it's a good thing, and that it won't hurt to get it all out: i'm a true believer that those emotional issues will hold you back
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#4 of 7 Old 10-31-2007, 06:19 PM
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I had my son when my daughter was 6. it was emotional hard on me as all of us wanted a baby but for so long, specially with my husband often deployed, it was just DD and I and we had a wonderful time together. Homeschooling and knowing how our days would go and being so close. I was worried. It was horever amazing and I see now how giving her a sibling to play with was a perfect gift.

This time though has been different. A baby I did not plan and my son is only almost 2. I had so much baby time with my DD and I feel like this baby is taking that baby time away from my DS. I am emotional about it but it has gotten better. I look forward to baby now and DD wants a sister. (No idea what baby is) I know that I will love baby once I am holding baby and that everything will work out. Still some moments are harder then others. I try to remember that this baby is a gift for my other children as well, someone else to love and play with. If only you could see how close DD and DS are, she is like a mother hen with him, they even share a room at night and often I find them sleeping in the same bed. They adore eachother.

It has to be ok.

As for labor..... ((((hugs))))

Army wife to wonder hubby. Mama to 4 and Surrogate mother x2.: Zoey Born 5/7/2010
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#5 of 7 Old 10-31-2007, 06:30 PM
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I'm jumping in here from the October DDC. Still waiting on baby #1, who was due on the 28th, but I think that the emotional stuff just might be a labor sign.

I've had "practice" labor for a week now, and today it started up again. I've had half a dozen emotional meltdowns today, and finally, a few minutes ago, I lost a great big yucky (but beautiful!) mucus plug, so I'm hopeful that this is the real deal.

however, it sounds like you've got a lot of legitimate reasons to be emotional about this birth, so even if you still have to wait a while, take it easy on yourself and let it out.

Wife to rockin' SAHD DH (34) and mom to DD :, born Nov. 07 (from IUI #4); 09/09; anxious to TTC again soon
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#6 of 7 Old 10-31-2007, 06:37 PM
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You just verbalized your fears. I'd be willing to bet THAT is what was holding you back.

I've been doing the same thing. :

I came across the following 2 links (excellent reads) and it has given me reason to do some deeper thinking.

In the first link I found the following:

D. Mother's Emotions:
1. not willing to "let go":
a. last baby
b. waiting for someone significant to arrive or leave
c. parenting fears
d. home environment concerns
e. etc.

 upsidedown.gif  Please see my Community Profile! energy.gif blogging.jpg about Asperger's Syndrome!

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#7 of 7 Old 10-31-2007, 06:40 PM
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I think it's probably a normal part of emotional processing... I've been having similar feelings about wanting to really cherish the time with my kiddo and husband before all of us have our focuses shifted for us. And maybe you are mourning the change coming in your life as much as the change coming for your older child.

Do you feel better now? Was it cathartic at all?

I have talked to lots of women who are really worried about the effects of their newest baby on the older child... and I have to say, as an older child I CANNOT IMAGINE my life without my sister. Having her in my life has been such a gift (barring a few years here and there when we didn't get along) to me because she is the only person on the planet who shares my DNA, my childhood household, the same set of parents, the same set of memories... your older child will bounce back. And in addition to the love received from you and your spouse, they will have the love and admiration of a younger sibling.

Everything will be okay. Process any way you need to, but remember that second and third and fourth children have been growing up to be reasonably well adjusted for a long time.
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