What would you NOT name your child? - Mothering Forums
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November 2007 > What would you NOT name your child?
Elena'sMami's Avatar Elena'sMami 08:06 AM 11-08-2007
The thread to review (and discard) real names you've heard and still can't believe.

When I was a kid, we lived in north Idaho (don't know if that is relevant or not in a tiny little town, and my parents had some friends/acquaintances with 2 boys. The older boy's name was...Ghengis Khan. and his little brother was, you guessed it, Conan. Luckily, I was too little to know the significance of the names, so they never caught any grief from me. But I do distinctly remember that their mother never shortened the names. We'd be out in the field, running around with the cows and horses, and she'd call, "Ghengis Khan! Conan! Time to go home!" This is totally true, and any of you who grew up in small north Idaho towns may not think it's so whacky

I also heard the following names, although I can't swear that they are not urban legends, as they were not friends of mine:

phonetically: La-MAHN-ja-lo and o-RAN-ja-lo
spelled: lemonjello and orangejello

and: Urethra (pronounced correctly).

Rebekah

MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar MCatLvrMom2A&X 08:14 AM 11-08-2007
Dh has a cousin named Egbert & dh wanted to use the name Ruffus if we had a boy before dd was born :
Traceyky's Avatar Traceyky 11:58 AM 11-08-2007
My friend pricilla's sister Dora married a guy with the last name of Bell. (she had her name changed after they married. She never liked Dora anyways)

A young couple I knew named their son Neo Danger. A young couple on my homeschooling board (where we are now a lot of grandmas!!!) just named their son Guybrush Wednesday

I won't name my daughter Lawn... Nor my son Ken...

We are Moore's LOL....
maisiedotes's Avatar maisiedotes 12:19 PM 11-08-2007
Well, my grandfather went to school with a guy named Spiro Spiro. Last name and first. I knew a kid named Sisipon Silepacitis. And I know a guy named Rabbit.

My cousin suggested Skeletor for our child, or Mucous.
MamaHippo's Avatar MamaHippo 12:46 PM 11-08-2007
i went to school with a girl whose last name was Nail. Her dad's name was Rusty. I'm dead serious. And Dh swears he went to high school with a guy whose cousin was last name Lear, first name Crystal, middle name ( wait for it...).... Chanda. Crystal Chanda Lear.

Its not a bad name, but I would never name this baby Addison, because in the last 2 months Dh had a coworker name his daughter Addison and my coworker just named her daughter Addison last month. Apparently thats the new super-trendy name for girls this year. So, definitely not for me.

Also have seen the name Semaj for a boy - thats 'James' backwards. I'm totally NOT into the backwards-naming thing, ie Nevaeh. Just seems so silly and contrived.
Googy's Avatar Googy 01:14 PM 11-08-2007
We had a Senator here in NH back when I was a kid whose name was Dick Sweat. Seriously.
monocyte 01:17 PM 11-08-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Googy View Post
We had a Senator here in NH back when I was a kid whose name was Dick Sweat. Seriously.
laughup

Thanks, I needed that one!!
JamesMama's Avatar JamesMama 01:32 PM 11-08-2007
I went to school with a Cougar and a Beige (like the color...it was a boy)...

I would NEVER name my child after a car: Mercedees, Porsha, etc (All names I've heard).

My 'rule' is if the 'name' is found in the dictionary it won't be bestoed upon my child (months of the year, seasons, 'virtues', etc) They are fine for other people if they like that kind of thing, me not so much.

Oh, and we can't do Douglas, thats our last name. Douglas Douglas...yikes...
GooeyRN's Avatar GooeyRN 01:35 PM 11-08-2007
Dick Sweaty, lol.

I think Melena is bad. It sounds pretty until you look it up in a medical dictionary...
sorteep's Avatar sorteep 02:01 PM 11-08-2007
I know a (southern) girl named Cheetah (no she is not a stripper she is a school teacher and yes, it is her given name)

I also know two brothers named Happy and Smiley (also southern family.. I am not picking on the south , I just think you hear more of those unique names in the south)

also my old roomie had a GF named Pepsi Cola.. (OK OK they were from Tennesee... sorry..) she went by "Peppy"

now for some of the northern preppy names.. I know a Chad Chadwick (goes by chaddy) and a Buck Buckley (goes by Bucky) ONLY on the philly main line whold those two fly for 40 something yr old men

I know a few pretty funny NN's one family (also odl mainline) girls NN's are Weezie, Beezie, Bitsy and Bunny I think Louise, something, Elizabeth and Beatrice .. can't remember Beezie's given name

my sister had a college roomie named Betsy Ross

I have actually MET all these people so no internet urban ledgend names here!
sorteep's Avatar sorteep 02:03 PM 11-08-2007
OHH and i have patients, fatehr and son
dad is Dick Johnson
son is Peter Johnson

ummm, like how many PENIS names can one family use?? yikes
sorteep's Avatar sorteep 02:05 PM 11-08-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama View Post

Oh, and we can't do Douglas, thats our last name. Douglas Douglas...yikes...
move to the MAinLine , it would be normal!!

OH I forgot I know a family with a boy named Grey and a girl named Orange
sorteep's Avatar sorteep 02:06 PM 11-08-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Googy View Post
We had a Senator here in NH back when I was a kid whose name was Dick Sweat. Seriously.

dear GOd and he didn't choose to go by richard or Rich ????
adon's Avatar adon 02:06 PM 11-08-2007
ok...this is OT, but..... FIL went to dental school with a Dr. Doctor and Dr. Pain. i guess the nurses would page them over the inter. just for kicks. they still practice dentistry
GinaRae's Avatar GinaRae 02:13 PM 11-08-2007
I have actually SEEN a doctor named Dr. Pain somewhere. I cannot remember where now - dentistry or what. I think it was in the hospital somewhere.
jeliphish's Avatar jeliphish 02:19 PM 11-08-2007
I know a guy named: "Peter John Willy" and he is a junior. Sooo, his grandparents really sucked!
spero's Avatar spero 02:21 PM 11-08-2007
DD's podiatrist was Dr. Finger.
In my (small, less than 20 ppl) college class there was a John Kennedy AND a Connie Francis.

Although it's tempting (b/c, face it, we all love to believe that we're brilliant to come up with this stuff ), I would personally never name a kid something I made up out of thin air, or a name "enhanced" from something else.

One thing I do like is using a family (last) name as a first - but I know many ppl don't care for that. In fact, I would have done that, but DH thought it was cheesey.

I also have girls' names I automatically crossed off my list, b/c of bad associations (from school days) with them.
sorteep's Avatar sorteep 02:34 PM 11-08-2007
I know a Dr Doolittle/.. she is a chiro.. go married, tho and chg to Dr Teusink.. (I think I would have kept doolittle!)
sorteep's Avatar sorteep 02:35 PM 11-08-2007
OHHH and my assistants OBGYN who del her DD is Dr Breast (no lie!) .. all the abbies he del's get a tshirt that says Breast is Best!!!
chrysalis's Avatar chrysalis 02:54 PM 11-08-2007
Alotta Vagina, Robin Spits, Robin Swallows, Ivana Humpalot...

no really... when i was a little girl my Meghs' age i had a very good little boy friend named Whitridge. it sounds regal enough but i always thought that was very unique and different and just i don't like it... he was french. don't know if that is a common french name for boys??? hmmm.

lets see...oh...i did daycare for 2 boys, brothers named Helios and Cosmos. i can't recall their middle names but they were pretty far out too. i didn't like those names...

ummmmm.......now my mind is going numb............. there are definitely a lot of names i do not care for that are very mainstream. i just don't like them, they sounds too 'sharp' to me or too fi-fi or snooty...or too cutesy.
Mom2ManyBlessings's Avatar Mom2ManyBlessings 03:05 PM 11-08-2007
My BFF named her daughter Grace. Last name - Kelly. I *think* that's been done before....

One of DH's fraternity brother's mom worked in L&D in an urban hospital on the East Coast. Her favorite 2 were the mom who named her daughter "Placenta" b/c she likeed the way it sounded. And the one who thought that the birth certificate had already been filled out, and the name chosen for her, b/c the box next to "Female" was checked. Except she rhymed it with "tamale" - you know, the Mexican food?????

And I want to school with a Creighton Chlopek. And he was, every inch of him, a Creighton Chlopek. Poor guy....

And then, there was Honor Moore... Yes, her real name. She was a hoot... Class clown....
GooeyRN's Avatar GooeyRN 03:06 PM 11-08-2007
We have a Dr. Richard Hacker at the hospital I work at. Dick Hacker HMMM... Do you really want him as your doctor?
Maluhia's Avatar Maluhia 03:16 PM 11-08-2007
after my MIL
Hezzy's Avatar Hezzy 03:30 PM 11-08-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Googy View Post
We had a Senator here in NH back when I was a kid whose name was Dick Sweat. Seriously.
I went to college in New Hampshire and remember Senator Dick Sweat. I seem to remember him being a III or IV, too - it was an old family name.
GooeyRN's Avatar GooeyRN 03:32 PM 11-08-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hezzy View Post
I went to college in New Hampshire and remember Senator Dick Sweat. I seem to remember him being a III or IV, too - it was an old family name.

Thats one name I wouldn't want to keep on giving.
boogiemonster's Avatar boogiemonster 03:32 PM 11-08-2007
My friend is a public health nurse who had a little boy in named Suitcase.

A friend from high school said her dad knew a Robert Loblaw...who went by Bob.

A friend from elementary school knew a Drew Peacock (play around with it...)

We couldn't use Wally or Molly (or Pitsqually, as my DH says), just because they rhyme with my DH and DC's surname.
Calidris's Avatar Calidris 03:33 PM 11-08-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama View Post
I would NEVER name my child after a car: Mercedees, Porsha, etc (All names I've heard).
Well actually the car was named after a woman (Mercedes) and it is a fairly common (Italian?) name. Portia (pronounced Porsha) is an old name too. There is a Portia in Shakespeare.


eta : just realised this was NOT in TAO : sorry
lisarussell's Avatar lisarussell 03:44 PM 11-08-2007
In our town there are a set of brother and sister inn keepers named

Ben Dover and Ilene Dover.

My 4th grade bowling coach was named William Williams III

I went to high school with a guy named Rocky Robin Rhoads

I would never name my child anything that started with an X. I have seen the following names Xanth, Xandr, Xitlaly (what is that?- why would anyone do that to a child???)

I almost named my first daughter Daeza, it rhymes with Asia. I made it up. I am so glad I didn't, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so in love with that name, I am glad I settled on Emilee (altered spelling because Uncle Lee died that summer) I'd rather have all my kids in the top ten most popular names than to have them be un-pronounceable, unheard of and just plain weird. If they want exciting names, they can come up with nicknames. I'd rather an exciting life than an exciting name. I can't imagine hiring a lawyer named "Destiny Dawn Anything" or some of these other goofy names going around. I try to go for names with my kids that can sound professional when they grow up.
GooeyRN's Avatar GooeyRN 03:52 PM 11-08-2007
I went to school with a Thomas Thompson. Poor kid.
spero's Avatar spero 03:56 PM 11-08-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisarussell View Post
My 4th grade bowling coach was named William Williams III
I went to HS with a Billy Williams, and DH went to HS with a Tommy Thomas.
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