Rachel's birth story (long, and hard to write) - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-14-2007, 11:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Its taken me forever but I finally wrote out the story of my daughter's birth on Thanksgiving day. Its very long, so I posted it on my blog on Livejournal. There are several previous posts detailing not only DS's birth story but also my pregnancy, and my fight to get an HBAC, which ultimately failed spectacularly. So, if anyone is interested or really bored, its there.
I had to do it, I think, for emotional closure.

http://eternalgrowth.livejournal.com/1827.html


Lisa
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Old 12-15-2007, 12:06 AM
 
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mama...I'm so sorry you were treated so badly. I wish you happiness with your beautiful children and I hope you can heal in time. Thank you for sharing your story and be kind to yourself...
Anika

Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
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Old 12-15-2007, 12:24 AM
 
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oh, lisa. i have no words. i am in utter shock that the hospital staff would treat you that way.

i hope writing this out has helped in some way, and thanks for sharing. take care of yourself and give yourself the time and space to process this trauma.

s

robina. unschooling mama and midwifery student.  building my nest with my husband, our daughter (born at home 11/07), our son (home waterbirth 5/10), and our newest little girl (born at home 4/13)!

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Old 12-15-2007, 02:10 AM
 
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Many it is appalling that you were treated this way by so-called professionals.

May you find a release of some kind having written out your story.
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Old 12-15-2007, 04:03 AM
 
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Oh Lisa . I am in tears for you. I don't believe they would treat you that way at your most vulnerable time. I hope you are able to heal and find peace in your beautiful girl.

We should get together sometime. Do you know about the coloradoap.com board? It is all local and an awesome resource. There are some really great families around here.
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Old 12-15-2007, 02:16 PM
 
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Lisa.

So frustrating the way you were treated, esp in a time like that.
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Old 12-15-2007, 03:33 PM
 
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Thank you for sharing your story with us. The atrocity of care that you received at the hospital brought me to tears. I'm sorry this happened to you, Mama.
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Old 12-15-2007, 05:03 PM
 
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many many hugs thank you so much for sharing...
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Old 12-15-2007, 05:58 PM
 
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Old 12-15-2007, 08:15 PM
 
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Lisa, I am sending you a big hug and lots of love. Thanks for sharing your story.
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Old 12-15-2007, 09:06 PM
 
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I'm appalled and disgusted by their treatment of you at the hospital (although for the record, heroin addicts don't deserve it either). I hope you got names, and I hope you write the hospital, the medical boards, and JCAHO. That is just totally unacceptable.
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Old 12-15-2007, 10:32 PM
 
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Lisa, I'm so sorry to read about your horrible experience at that hospital. I echo gcgirl's suggestion -- I think you should write to the hospital, etc. Not only should others know about the treatment you received, but you should have the catharsis of feeling heard. An emergency section is hard enough to deal with when you do have compassionate care.

I hope you can heal from this experience.
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Old 12-15-2007, 10:38 PM
 
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s mama.

Catholic Homeschooling mama to DS (6), DD (4), twin DDs (2), DD (7 months), and someone new 7/31/10!
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Old 12-15-2007, 10:56 PM
 
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Lisa... many, many 's. My homebirth ended up at the hospital in a C-section as well, but I was never treated so atrociously as you were. I am so sorry. You did nothing wrong trying to have a homebirth! You were trying to have a safe natural birth and I'm sorry you were treated that way. It's unacceptable. I wish you much healing and love. Thank you for sharing your story. BTW I too know how much it hurts to have your baby taken away so suddenly and not brought to you for so long. It was forever before they brought me my baby... I don't understand that. He was so hungry, and they wanted to give him a bath first! ??!!

Take care of yourself and enjoy your babies. You're very strong.
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Old 12-15-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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nak

I have so much sadness for the way you were treated.
Congratulations on your new baby girl.
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Old 12-15-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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Old 12-16-2007, 02:19 AM
 
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Alisha, Army wife to Nathan , Homeschooling mama to Scheeli (May 2003) , Bronwynn (Nov. 2004) :, Piper (Nov. 2007) , and Wesley (January 2010)
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Old 12-21-2007, 12:42 AM
 
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i am so very sorry that you were treated so terribly.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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Old 12-21-2007, 05:02 AM
 
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I told my husband about your story as best I could and had a good cry. He's such a good man, he understands how important births are to moms like us (and dads like our husbands) and he gave support and understanding. He also happens to feel you should pursue litigation for the mental harm, the delay on the c/s and the lack of supportive care like pain meds when requested. Don't know if that's something you would be interested in gong with.. I know your mind and emotions are pretty jumbled and full already.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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Old 12-21-2007, 11:02 AM
 
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I finally had a chance to read your story. How sad and scary. I am so sorry.

Its weird--I too had an uncontrollable urge to push at only 7 cm--maybe this is a very bad sign since I too endedup with a c-section???
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Old 12-21-2007, 11:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Googy View Post
I finally had a chance to read your story. How sad and scary. I am so sorry.

Its weird--I too had an uncontrollable urge to push at only 7 cm--maybe this is a very bad sign since I too endedup with a c-section???
Hmm.... I wonder if it's the body's natural way to keep a cervix open/opening when it is starting to swell? Just a thought.

I'm sorry that your birth was so traumatic for you. You did the absolute best you could - you were at home, with a hands-off midwife, prepared for a natural birth. You did everything in your power to do this naturally, so at least you have comfort in knowing that it really, truly could not be done. The way the hospital treated you proves why you avoid such deranged institutions in the first place! Hugs to you, mama. May you find strength in knowing you did everything right - and the best you could - for yourself and your baby at the most vulnerable point in both of your lives. That is absolutely commendable, and I respect you more than words can tell.
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Old 12-23-2007, 01:52 PM
 
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That is so wrong!!!
But, Congratulations on your beautiful daughter. Look at her, you are not flawed , you grew her and gave her shelter for 9 months. That is amazing.
How the staff treated you was so completly wrong.
Many hugs,
Liane

me, wife and mama to ds ('06) and dd ('07), my miracle dd ('12) and surprise ds (5/14) and to plenty pets!

 twinsbrokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif2/11, lost another twin brokenheart.gif 8/11

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Old 12-25-2007, 05:36 AM
 
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It was hard just reading about it. Tears.

I worry this will eat you, I hope it all fades soon. Your so strong but it has to be hard being strong under all the weight of that. Please get trama help if it will not leave you alone ok.

Blessings,
Kimmy

Army wife to wonder hubby. Mama to 4 and Surrogate mother x2.: Zoey Born 5/7/2010
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Old 12-25-2007, 06:11 AM
 
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Hugs, mama.

PMing you now.
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Old 12-26-2007, 05:29 AM
 
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WOW- I think the way they treated you was horrible, you needed medical attention and that's why you were there- how dare they even waste a minute being rude about it. There was no reason for that. You have a beautiful family; You labored at home for a long time; and you did a great job. You transferrred intelligently, knowing something was wrong because you were RESPONSIBLE and did your homework; and your midwife knew what was going on, too.

Try not to be sad; you made a valiant effort, and you still did things on YOUR terms this time. If you had simply scheduled a CSection, you'd have wondered if you were a wimp for not even trying. If anything, this experience should bring you peace and comfort knowing that you saw firsthand the necessity of it.

The only thing unnecessary was the way you were treated. I would write a nasty letter to whoever is in charge there. No, I wouldn't but I'd think nasty thoughts with the best grammar in my brain and ultimately decide to focus instead on my healthy babies and my personal recovery.

So with that; get plenty of rest; accept help from everyone who offers; forget those jerks at the hospital, you don't like them anyway. And drink plenty of water. Remember, we luv you here, and I am proud of you.
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