how many do you have and are you done ?? - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-17-2007, 07:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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how many do you have and are you done ??

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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Old 12-17-2007, 07:25 PM
 
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We have 3...and oh yes, we are done. If I could just give birth, but not go through awful pregnancies and difficult postpartums...then I would love to have more. But, that's not going to happen. Dh is getting a vasectomy. If we start to feel like our family needs growing again, we'll adopt. There are so many children who need good homes. I truly believe that souls seek and find one another through many different ways...not just biological birth.
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Old 12-17-2007, 07:35 PM
 
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We have one. We'd originally planned on 4-6 kids, all via adoption as toddlers or older. Having an infant was a huge shift, and now we're seriously re-evaluating if we want more children at all. DH and I were always very happy without kids, and I don't think we would have felt "incomplete" if it had remained just us.

That said, I would still love to have a large family through adoption, provided--and this sounds so bougeois!--we had some sort of domestic help. Part of me feeling sane as a mom is having a manageable home, and right now that task seems way too daunting on my own.
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Old 12-17-2007, 07:43 PM
 
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nak
we have 2 and we think we are done.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:00 PM
 
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We just have Angela, but I don't think we're done, even though DH has mentioned getting snipped. I've got a feeling he's going to want at least one more in a few years, so I've made a point of mentioning considering a reversible snip instead of a permanent one. He hasn't objected to the idea, so it leads me to believe deep down, he doesn't feel totally done just yet.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:06 PM
 
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I'd like some help myself!

I have 4 and thought it would be no big deal, but my standards in child care and housekeeping have changed since I had my older kids. I am seriously stressed about never having enough time to do anything.

I LOVE this child.. OMG do I love this child!!!! I just would like help cleaning the house while I enjoy him forever and ever. I am always torn between holding a sleeping baby just a minute longer and letting go so I can pick up the mess. And when he needs me and I am only with him, I feel guilty because my mind wanders to the lists of things to do and to the boys.

And HONESTLY if anyone tells me not to worry about the house... UGH! I know that. I do. I have relaxed my standards since getting pregnant, and the house suffers (a lot!) but my mental health and stress levels are directly connected to a clean house.

This house is SO SMALL. If I can't stay 100% on top of cleaning, decluttering and keeping the boys active on putting things away, all functions of and around the house are chaotic for everyone. We can't move, sit, etc.. because things pile up too easily.

Almost a b-ball team: : Taylor -14, Alex -11, Jack -8, Lachlan born at home 11/15/07
"Well behaved women rarely make history"
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:08 PM
 
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We have three now. The oldest is my stepson. Right now we're done, but I'm getting an IUD in case we change our minds. It depends on how well he moves up in this company.

Anna
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:20 PM
 
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We have 2, I don't feel done, but financially we may have to be. We won't be doing any form of birth control aside from MFI...we'll accept whatever God blesses us with.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:27 PM
 
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NAK

We have three boys, my ss who is almost 13, my 18 month old and our new little babe. We are really happy; although very stressed out at times...a toddler and a teenager all at once. We have discussed having one more and have not decided which way to go yet. If we do have one more I would prefer it to be sooner rather than later. I want the little boys to all grow up together close in age.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:30 PM
 
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We have four plus my step son that doesnt live with us. I would have had one more but dh isnt into it at all. My family feels complete but I am not confident I wont regret having my tubes tied at another point in my life.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:37 PM
 
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one, and no!

robina. unschooling mama and midwifery student.  building my nest with my husband, our daughter (born at home 11/07), our son (home waterbirth 5/10), and our newest little girl (born at home 4/13)!

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Old 12-17-2007, 08:40 PM
 
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We have six and if, in a few years, I can find my groove with homeschooling, being a doula/CBE and maintaining a decent house then I can't say I wouldn't consider another (i.e. actively trying; we're always open to whatever). I really have to be in a place where I can go through the morning sickness without feeling that my life is falling apart because I'm so unfunctional during that phase of pregnancy.

We'll see...I'm only 31 so time is on my side.
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:42 PM
 
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We have 5 and I swore throughout the pregnancy that we were done, but now dh and I are pretty sure that there is one more child meant to join our family (we are kinda hoping one more girl to even the playing fields ). Not trying anytime soon though...my life is beyond chaotic right now with infant twins/5 children all 4 and under!
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:43 PM
 
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I have 2- Pixie who is 7 and Peri, the newborn.

I also have a nephew who is 11 months older than Pixie that I am very close to and would like to be available for should he ever need me- either as a parent or financially. His father is not in the picture and his mother is not the most stable (emotionally or financially) and there may come a time when I need to be a bigger part of his life than I currently am, and that would be fine with me.

I always wanted a house full of kids, but I separated from my first husband I was still pregnant with Pix, and of course, didn't have any more children until Peri. If we ever want more, I think it will be via adoption, and I would adopt a child who was older, or at least at an age between the 2 girls ages.

Manda

::Mommy to Pixie : 9-3-00 and Peri 11-15-07
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:52 PM
 
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One and nope.

We always said we wanted two, plus an option. If things go well with two, we'll consider actively trying for more. I'll be 30 next year, so we have some time to decide, but not unlimited amounts, especially because I want to wait at least two years to try for #2.

DS (2) and someone new in March 2011
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:52 PM
 
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We have three. 2.5. 4.5 and Sam. . . . I don't feel done, even though there are days I think I am *insane* for even thinking of more, but I think DH is done. He's 40, stressed to the max with the kids (he doesn't deal well with organized chaos, lol), and don' think I can convince him of a need for one more!

Jodie, married to my best friend and Mama to three amazing kiddos, Jack (6), Matthew (4) and Sam (21 months) and cautiously waiting for a new little one due early spring (shhh, it's a secret!)
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Old 12-17-2007, 08:53 PM
 
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Oliver is our first, and we just got married last year! We said we wanted three when we were first talking about it, but I think two might be more realistic. I want to spend the next couple of years trying to land a better job, and also want to be fully healed from my C-section before we try again. That said, I'm 37 (today!) and we don't have forever, so I guess we'll see what we're blessed with. We have an agreement to table the discussion and see where we're at in a year. But I know we want at least one more. If we decide on a third at some point I want to be really sure I can be present for all of them... i.e. sane! Three kids might be over my limit. We'll see.

Loving this babe tho! And already looking forward to # 2 even if it won't be right away.
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Old 12-17-2007, 10:34 PM
 
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we have 2 and we are done if i didn't have such horrible pregnancies i would have 2 or 3 more. i like the idea of a huge family. but i get SICK SICK nothing helps!!! so, instead of thinking about NOT having more kids DH and i are getting used to the idea of the kids growing up and looking forward to having time for each other again....we are only 30 DH will get the big V soon. it's kinda sad!
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Old 12-17-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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Three. Don't think we're done yet, either.

~Serina~
Wife to j, homeschooling mom to five wonders

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Old 12-17-2007, 10:45 PM
 
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NAK. two. we're not done. at least one more, maybe two more.
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Old 12-17-2007, 10:59 PM
 
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I have one and after that pregnancy and labor, I need a very long time before I have another. We are not done, but I need this amnesia I hear about to kick in!

Aimee
x2 11-07 and 12-09
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Old 12-18-2007, 12:21 AM
 
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we have 6

we agreed to have six

I love being pregnant, a LOT. the only thing i don't like is that last month of wondering, waiting, and waddling.

I don't mind labor & birth (except when they're actually happening.)

My amnesia HAS kicked in already. I remember being so miserable last week but I don't recall why??? AF? latching? honestly, I think this was one of my best recoveries. Today I feel great.

I have to convince myself that all this babymaking sucks, so i can embrace the next season in my life. it's supposed to be early retirement.

this baby graduates high school in 2026. maybe earlier since we're homeschooling. Still, 2026 is a long time away.
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Old 12-18-2007, 12:34 AM
 
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3 and done. I always wanted 3 but we decided to stop after 2. And I was fine with it, felt our family was complete, wanted to move on and become financially stable and get our life straightened out. Along came #3 Now we're snipped...
Gotta add: I am so thankful for our little "accident". I know 3 was the better number, he turned our plans upside down but gosh, when I look at my baby I have the same sense of "knowing" like when I knew dh was the right guy and my soulmate. Absolutely crazy, how this child was meant to be.
We are seriously done now, tho. Snipped
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Old 12-18-2007, 12:54 AM
 
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We've just got the one, but just yesterday DH said, "Oh yeah, I definitely want another one." Lol. I think he likes being a dad.
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Old 12-18-2007, 03:06 AM
 
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We have 2, and Dh is positive he's done. I am about 95% sure I am done. I dont htink i could go through the fear of another delivery after having 2 scary traumatic ones. And, we have our boy and our girl, and we feel very complete as a family now. Dh is most likely going to get a vasectomy here after the new year. If we decide we want another in 5 or 6 years, he can get it put back together.
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Old 12-18-2007, 03:14 AM
 
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We have two and I would really like a third (or a fourth!). DH never wanted any, so the fact that he is even willing to consider a third is quite the step for him. He is really enjoying DD and DS for the wonderful little folk they are and also likes it when I stay home and wash his laundry

Right now we're trying to decide on what to do, so nothing is set in stone yet. I'd really like to try and time the next baby better so it's a spring baby. DH has mentioned that he doesn't want to wait too long though, so maybe we'll just skip brith control altogether like we did after DD.
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Old 12-18-2007, 03:42 AM
 
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Two precious girls and yeah, we're probably done.

DH says we are. I'm 90% sure I agree with him. We're waiting a year before we do anything permanent, though.

Neither of us is hung up on the fact that we have two girls and no boys. We're happy, very lucky and very blessed.

boogiemonster | the hairy scotsman | anna the elf | lucy the sprite | wee faerie faye, born 01/02/11

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Old 12-18-2007, 11:44 AM
 
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We have two, both girls. It is exactly what I always wanted! I am 99% sure I am done but DH wants a third. I would love to go through labor and birth again, but that's no reason to bring another child into the world. Financially it's smarter for us to stop at two--we planned for me being home for five years, and I only have three years left. Emotionally, pregnancy and post-partum are really hard on me so each baby is a risk to my mental health. This time I am doing well, and I had an incredible birth. I feel like I should be grateful and stop while I'm ahead. But it makes me sad that this phase of my life is over. It makes me feel very mortal.
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Old 12-18-2007, 11:56 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melissakc View Post
But it makes me sad that this phase of my life is over. It makes me feel very mortal.
It does, doesn't it? Kind of like a looming vault door getting ready (potentially) to slam shut on the reproductive era of my life, at least.....
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Old 12-18-2007, 12:10 PM
 
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we have 3, and we are done. however, if life handed us a "happy surprise" one day, we would welcome him/her. but we're not planning anymore.

Momma to K ('01), E ('03) and A ('07)
Acting as a Gestational Surrogate for my cousin, EDD Jan 17th
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