Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Urban Midwestern USA
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My husband recently had an upsetting experience, which has sparked a long thread in parenting issues (titled Feeling so sorry for men today --rant), and I was wanting to get more men's opinions on this issue.
We'd taken our girls to our local waterpark, and dh needed to use the restroom. He had to use the one and only stall in the men's room, and while he was in there a boy came in and stood outside the (closed) door to the stall, waiting for dh to finish so he could go in.
His mother was naturally concerned about her son being in there so long, and kept calling in, and the boy kept anwering that he was okay. Dh understood the mother's concerns perfectly, as he has sometimes taken our older daughter out, and had to wait outside the door to the women's room on our dd.
When dh came out of the stall, the boy (who looked to be about 8) went right in. Then dh went out, and when the mom saw him she loudly yelled, "Honey are you OKAY? Has somebody been TOUCHING you?" -- to which dh was very glad that the child truthfully answered no (as in no, no one's been touching me).
This was so upsetting to my dh, he wanted to leave the park right away. It was just really scary to him to realize how much his wellbeing hinged on that child giving an honest answer to his mom. And of course I'm not saying most kids would lie about such a thing, but all I can say is it just made dh feel very shaken up and vulnerable.
Anyhow, it got me thinking that most men would probably prefer for a mom this anxious to just call out a warning, and go in to check on her son, rather than for her to stand outside, fretting, wondering if some man is in there molesting her son.
I know a woman barging in would be an encroachment on your privacy -- but so would a false accusation. So what do you guys think? Of course, the other option would be for the anxious mom to take her son, no matter his age, with her into the ladies' room. Which do you think would have been more embarrassing to you when you were a kid?
Susan -- married WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005), who started out unschooling and have now embarked on the public school adventure.