Book Recommendation for Father (Pregnancy/Birth/Newborn) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 12-28-2009, 01:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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x-posted for the most input

figure you guys would be some of the best folks to ask this , got any suggestions for me?


i am looking for a good book or two for my Beloved Hubby about pregnancy and birth.
i worry about buying online cause when i go into the stores and glance around and i'm shocked at the crap info that is in some of them. i don't need to be later fighting against something old fashion myth in a book.

i few pieces of info that might help pick the right book:
  • this is our first and he has had very little exposure to other babies in his life
  • he is medically trained and trusts AMA things so some more natural info coming from "professional" sources might be good
  • most of his baby/preggo experiences are ladies in the ER where he worked, so i want to help him understand this is not a medical problem
  • books that support circ would not be very welocome (edited to keep the thread respectful and focused)
  • he has shared with me that he feels like this will be "my thing" and that he will feel left out, so anything that shows him ways to be included would be great, i really want him to understand this is very much about both of us
  • he is a really open minded person in general, but not connect to something "new age"

i would love maybe a funnier one and a more detailed one and would love to get them right away, maybe use one to tell him when i get my BFP

thanks guys!

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#2 of 8 Old 12-28-2009, 02:32 PM
 
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I'd go to the circ forum to talk about that particular issue. They may have thoughts for you there. I'm not agreeable with unilateral decision making by moms in that area, and I'd rather that convo didn't spill over into Dads.

I read this book when my wife was pregnant and it was pretty helpful to me. I gave our copy to my cousin's husband when she got pregnant.

http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-...dp/1558323570/

Dad to DD 9/2008
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#3 of 8 Old 12-28-2009, 02:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Of course. I agree you you on both aspects! Thanks for the recomdations. Any thought on a pregnacy focused one, or do you think I should maybe just get him hooked up with one of those weekly emails? Is there one that talks to dad more? I really understand how he could be feeling like a outsider and really want him you feel more invited. Knoweldge is strength and comfort, right?

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#4 of 8 Old 12-28-2009, 04:28 PM
 
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I don't know what weekly emails you're talking about. Maybe someone else will be able to help you there.

If you have a bit of distrust for the medical establishment, and he doesn't...it may be difficult to get through to him on that, especially considering he's part of the medical establishment. I would hope that you trust his medical knowledge, although that is not a common sentiment on this board.

I know that for me personally, I already read a lot of feminist blogs. And it might be helpful for him to look around for birth stories from people who were not treated well by hospitals. There are a surprising number of them. Women's health care is not as good as men's health care. Maybe open a dialog from that perspective.

My wife and I found CNM's to be our answer for our daughter's birth. It reassured me a lot that they were actual certified nurses.

Dad to DD 9/2008
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#5 of 8 Old 12-28-2009, 08:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for all your imput!

Quote:
Originally Posted by plunky View Post
I don't know what weekly emails you're talking about. Maybe someone else will be able to help you there.
oh i was just talking about some of websites including MDC that you can sign up for a weekly email that shows you what your babies growth is at at that point in the pregnancy and gives little tips, i'm looking around for a good one. that might be fun for him too.
Quote:
If you have a bit of distrust for the medical establishment, and he doesn't...it may be difficult to get through to him on that, especially considering he's part of the medical establishment. I would hope that you trust his medical knowledge, although that is not a common sentiment on this board.
oh i think i might have presented my self badly, i dont have any overall mistrust for the medical system, i simply do not think that a normal pregnancy and birth are medical problems. they can certainly become one and i for one and very glad i have good Dr. should that happen. i am amazed and humbled by my Beloved medical career and go to him all the time. what i worry about is between being a war time combat medic and years as a trauma specialist in a ER that he has only seen the bad and has a hard time picturing something that involves blood going smoothly. He cares so much for me and only wants to keep me safe, i love him so much for that. i want now to help him learn the beautiful side and this and feel comfortable with our choices

Quote:
I know that for me personally, I already read a lot of feminist blogs. And it might be helpful for him to look around for birth stories from people who were not treated well by hospitals. There are a surprising number of them. Women's health care is not as good as men's health care. Maybe open a dialog from that perspective.
that is a good idea, thanks. i dont personally see myself as a classic feminist, but i do agree with your comment on mens vs women's health care, so that is a great place to maybe open the conversation.
Quote:

My wife and I found CNM's to be our answer for our daughter's birth. It reassured me a lot that they were actual certified nurses.
that is my biggest hope, to find just that, and for very similar reasons, personally i would like a birth center, but mostly i just want my Beloved and I to have a healthy baby and it be a positive experiences.

i came here to ask about book, not to make you chit chat about my birth plans, i just want for my hubby to feel the wonder and joy that i do and to be informed so he feels included and can feel like he is adding something(i already know that he is, but he has mentioned feeling outside and i want to respect that). so i will take any and all advice on that and leave you alone on the rest. thanks again

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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#6 of 8 Old 01-12-2010, 11:11 PM
 
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just another vote for "the birth partner." my husband really thought it was useful to him.

hoping for a !
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#7 of 8 Old 01-28-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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Anyone mention Dr. Sears? I found the Pregnancy Book and the Baby Book to be great resources.

ArdensDad, partner to lunaliss , dad to Arden (3y) and Fian (12/09)
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#8 of 8 Old 02-09-2010, 05:31 PM
 
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i work as a postpartum doula and i like to recommend "The Birth Partner" for soon to be dads, and for my husband! It is a great to the point book with a lot of easy to follow information.

Postpartum Doula mama to Tristan born 10/09
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