my dh and i have spoken about this exactly...what if we ever split (we are nowhere close to that now) how will we share the kids? he want 50% and i dont think its right, especially if the child in a newborn. so we have to examine the reasons i feel that way (and maybe you too). is he a fully capable person? a responsible parent? he sounds like he really want to be involved and loving. thats awesome! but your babe is 3 mos old, right? and heres where it gets weird. i realize some will get mad at me for this, and i wish i had a logical reason or some science for it, but the bottom line (for me) is that the child is 3 months old and YOU ARE THE MOM. this baby just came out of your body. if for no other reason, the fact that this baby is intimately bonded with mom in a way that dad doesnt have yet is enough for me. i think its scary for babies to be away from their mothers. sorry dads. theres no way on earth i could let my 3 month old be away from me 50% of the time. However, dad really needs the time too. can you guys plan lots of family time together? can you work it out so he has her a few overnights and a few day time days and a few days together? you said he is your bf~ not your ex, so arent you guys spending time together anyways? that is an incredibly tough spot to be in.
joyful mama to DS 2-05, open adoption birthmama to DD 5-07: and DS 6-98, and my littlest one 7-09. crazy in love with DH!