Thoughts About Leaving 15-month-old with dad for weekend? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 09-10-2010, 12:49 AM - Thread Starter
adamom's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 15-month-old has never fallen asleep except next to me, was only recently nightweaned, and still wakes up several times during the night. My husband is a farmer, so I do all the nighttime parenting. At this point, I can't imagine what a night without me would be like for her. But I also wonder if leaving for a weekend would do wonders for his appreciation for the complexity of my role as mother. He is a devoted dad and takes care of our daughter in the evenings so I can work at the farm, but he still doesn't know what it's like the other 20 hours of the day. He's certain that if he were the mother, he would do a much better job. It's gotten so I avoid asking for help because of the criticism that inevitably follows. So many other moms have recommended taking a weekend off so dad can know what it's like, but I worry it would be too traumatic for my daughter, considering how much she relies on me. On the other hand, there's also the health of my marriage to consider, which certainly affects my daughter. Any thoughts, from dads as well as moms?
adamom is offline  
#2 of 7 Old 09-10-2010, 02:42 AM
lifeguard's Avatar
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Coyote Rock Farm
Posts: 6,574
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
The first time I left ds with dh was when he was about 15 months. It went very well. I do find that the more time dh is able to spend with ds one-on-one the stronger their bond is & the more comfortable & confident we all feel with it.

Surviving sleep deprivation one day at a time with dd (Oct '11) & ds (Oct '08).

lifeguard is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 09-11-2010, 02:39 PM
Adaline'sMama's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 4,787
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I say leave her there, go away for the weekend, and youll probably come home much more appreciated.

Holly and David partners.gif

Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

Adaline'sMama is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 09-11-2010, 03:10 PM
Altair's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,498
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would go away for a night and leave baby with dad in a heartbeat! He's a parent too. Go to a bed and breakfast where you can just relax and read.
Altair is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 09-11-2010, 07:05 PM
stik's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Go. Have a lovely time. They will too.
stik is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 09-13-2010, 02:11 AM
Marissamom's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,543
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would start with something shorter then the whole weekend if you're worried about it. overnight, or take a day to yourself. I think toddlers need some alone time with each parent. it builds a better bond with the parent, and gives the parent who's not usually alone with the kid better perspective.

Marissa, Partner to J geek.gif, SAHM to A (05/09)fly-by-nursing1.gif and I (03/11)stork-boy.gif. we cd.gif
selectivevax.gifdelayedvax.gifnocirc.giffemalesling.GIFecbaby2.gif part-time and familybed1.gif through infancy. planning ahomebirth.jpg
Marissamom is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 09-13-2010, 03:01 AM
lookatreestar's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 988
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i personally wouldn't but dd wasn't ready to sleep over without me until just last month. each child has a different personality, some are ready sooner than others.

mama to one '07 and one '09
lookatreestar is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off