The Family Bed - A Misnomer if ever there was one! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 08-13-2004, 02:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am a happy ap dad and all in all I really love the idea of the "Family Bed". The only problem is that I am no longer in it; the bed that is.
When my first son was born we were all able to sleep together in our king bed comfortabaly. When our second son joined us under the sheets, I began to feel a bit crowded. I am a rather large man and I like to spread out during my sleep. I have no fear of hurting my kids in the bed or anything like that, it's just that I found it hard to stay asleep with a foot in my ear or an elbow in my ribs.
I started to wander....
Our guest room was looking better and better, and afte a whyle I started going in there when I was awoken in the night.
Now with the addition of our third son, a full nights sleep in the "family Bed" is out of the question for me. Rather, I head to the "camp-out" bed as it is known in our family and most nights I am joined by at least one of the boys by the time dawn breaks. This is a good comprimise for me, musical beds aside, I seem to get most of the rest I need...and still get to sleep with the boys a good amount of the time.
I guess in our family we really have two family beds, one which is mainly for Mom and the kids and the other for Dad and the kids. The kids get to pick and choose who they want to sleep with and this is often different from who they wake up with. Also, with a new baby in the house, this often gives mommy a bit more alone time with our newborn in the mornings if the other boys are in bed with me.
I have come to undrstand that that this is really only for a short time in our lives and all too soon I will be back in bed with my wife wishing for the thunderstorm to cause the kids to come a runnin'!
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Other dads out there doing the camp-out thing too?
Are you no longer part of the "Family Bed" by choice or other?
thoughts please.
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#2 of 7 Old 08-13-2004, 06:11 PM
 
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We only have one so far. As an infant she slept in a bassinet next to the bed. When she got too big for that she slept in the 'bassinet' thing in the Graco Pack'n'Play. Once she got too big for that we upgraded to a King size bed and she's slept between us ever since. We figure she'll stay there until the next one comes along and gets big enough to sleep between us. Then we'll get a toddler bed or trundle of some kind to keep her in our room next to us without crowding the bed too much. That's the plan, at least. Not sure how it will work out once we get there :-)
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#3 of 7 Old 08-13-2004, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kurosch
We only have one so far. As an infant she slept in a bassinet next to the bed. When she got too big for that she slept in the 'bassinet' thing in the Graco Pack'n'Play. Once she got too big for that we upgraded to a King size bed and she's slept between us ever since. We figure she'll stay there until the next one comes along and gets big enough to sleep between us. Then we'll get a toddler bed or trundle of some kind to keep her in our room next to us without crowding the bed too much. That's the plan, at least. Not sure how it will work out once we get there :-)
Cool, and best of luck with sticking to your sleeping plan.
We do also have a pull out bed/couch (quite comfy I must say), in our room and I often crash on that one too just to be in the same room with everyone else.
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#4 of 7 Old 08-14-2004, 12:07 AM
 
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1ht

my husband was banned to the couch for the longest time. i was pregnant with #2, and #1 was still waking me to nurse every hour or so. my milk supply was diminishing and it was getting painful to roll over all the time, and accomodate my squiggly little nurser. i tanked him up with milk before bed, then dh and ds slept in the living room while dd-in-utero and i slept in bed. once ds got accustomed to dh comforting him back to sleep instead of me, they moved back in. now there are four of us in one queen sized bed and things are tight. sometimes i want to plaster a floor with thick comfy sleeping bags so we can all sleep comfortably together.

DH & Me + DS(7)  DD(6)  DD(4)  DS(3)  DD(1)  
 
Baby #6: 20****25****30****35**heartbeat.gif** - EDD December 17, 2010
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#5 of 7 Old 08-14-2004, 12:16 AM
 
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We are getting more space-challenged with two dds and me now pregnant, but we manage to stay in the same bed all night.

However, the other morning we were all lying chatting and snuggling, and I asked the girls what we'd do for space once the baby arrived.

Dd#1, (almost 4) quick as anything, said "Oh, this baby will just have to go in a cradle," and dd#2 was even quicker to agree!

Not that they are egocentric or anything.
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#6 of 7 Old 08-15-2004, 03:15 AM
 
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not a dad, I'm a mom, but we often have this arrangement, and we don't even have a family bed anymore! We sleep in a loft now, but it is slightly smaller than a fullsized bed. So if oneof the kids comes in to sleep with us, the (luckier) parent goes to sleep in another room....maybe on the kiddo's bed, or with our other child, kind of depends upon mood.

Sleeping patterns and places can be so weird. As long as everyone is happy, not feeling left out or anything, I'm okay with it. I think the vast majority of my friends have similar funky sleeping arrangements. Such is life with kids.

Lori
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#7 of 7 Old 08-15-2004, 07:48 PM
 
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The family bed didn't work out for us with DS. DW couldn't nurse laying down, so the convenience ended there.

Now DS is 2-1/2 and our DD has arrived. Lay-down nursing worked this time, so we gave co-sleeping another chance. Problem now was that I sleep like the dead, and DS still wakes up in the night occasionally and needs comfort. Usually I would awake with DW lovingly massaging my ribs with an elbow!

So we decided I would sleep on a spare mattress in DS's room. Works good. DW appreciates the extra space with DD in the queen bed. I wake up now for his cries in the night. Sometimes he decides to snuggle up with Daddy. And at the break of dawn I get woken up by a pint-sized wrestler!
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