Wearing my daughter & the looks... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 39 Old 11-29-2004, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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On Sunday, 11/29, my wife, son, daughter and myself went to the mall. I decided I wanted to wear our daughter who is 1 month old. I did not get any dirty looks. But I did get looks of what appeared to me, surprise. I was trying to figure out if they were surprised I had her in a sling or that me being a male I was wearing her. Hmmm. Anyone else had this happen?
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#2 of 39 Old 11-29-2004, 06:03 PM
 
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yep, my dh gets interesting looks. Sometimes they are "suprised" looks, and sometimes I've seen an eyeroll or two. However, mostly I've just noticed positive looks and/or remarks. Here's my dh and ds - this was abt 6 months ago

daddy slingin'

oh - and yea for you and dd getting snuggly time, esp in public, it does 'em good to see that, even if the common public doesnt realize it at the time :LOL
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#3 of 39 Old 11-29-2004, 11:14 PM
 
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My dh gets tons of compliments when he wears ds. Everyone comes up to talk to him and say how cute they are. He says he could have a million girlfriends or run for mayor!

DS1 2004 ~ DS2 2005 ~ DD1 2008 ~ DS3 2010 ~ DD2 due Dec. 2014
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#4 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 01:15 AM
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I got lots of abuse for wearing my daughter then my son. From guys who felt the need to approach me, a total stranger to them, and inform me how "stupid" I looked (like that means anything to me...bwahahahaha), to women who also felt the uncanny need to inform a total stranger that he looked ridiculous trying to "pretend" to be a mom. I guess I just have one of those faces.... people just feel free to come up to me and harass me... dunno.

Friends and family however, all thought my kid-wearing was wonderful.

My own belief and opinion was that it was just what was necessary to raise my kids and it was a helluva lot more practical than trying to do things with one hand.

And somehow I'm still wearing kids... spent the holiday wearing my 6 month old niece... felt kinda cool to be saddled up again.
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#5 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 01:20 AM
 
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they were staring at you for both reasons. i get double-takes and funny looks (and approving looks too) all the time, and i'm a mama.

whenever i see a daddy wearing a baby, i grin like a fool.
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#6 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 01:36 AM
 
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Funny, DH told me the sling was a total babe-magnet.
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#7 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 01:40 AM
 
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My dh never "wore" our children, but he carried them in his arms constantly. His mom always told him "put that baby down, you're spoiling her." His reply, "no, she's spoiling me!" That was the end of that.

Blesses!
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#8 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 02:21 AM
 
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My DH loves slinging my DD. I think he has only gotten positive responses. Definitely a babe magnet. But then, he's pretty cute, too.

People are always coming up to us and asking how it works and where we get them (slings). This is a sling-friendly area, and not very macho. When I sling her, people are always asking me if I need help, a stroller, etc. DH is a big guy, so he doesn't get that.

L.
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#9 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 08:48 AM
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My Dh never had a problem, and neither did I. I see men slinging every now and then, neverthought twice about it.

Maybe you should just smile at them?
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#10 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 10:17 AM
 
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me and xdh...walking down main st at daytona bike week...streets MOBBED with bikers and leather...daddy was wearing our boy and they parted like the red sea..it was the coolest thing ever and noone gave him a lick of sh!t for wearing his son proudly... thats a nice memory..
personally for me to see a daddy wearing his child it melts my heart.. not that I am a babe but its definetly a "babe" magnet... oh one more story... I saw a guy slinging his puppy once too thought that was very cute...I think it may just be the unafraid to publicly show how much I love someone/something that just gets the heart a fluttery.. so Kudos papas..wear those babies with Pride and score points with chics too!!
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#11 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 11:54 AM
 
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I saw a gay couple wearing their matching Shih Tzu dogs in matching slings. The men were matching too. They had the same haircut, the same beige Dockers, and were wearing almost the same color blue shirt. Which of course matched the slings.

Sorry, but that freaked me out.
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#12 of 39 Old 11-30-2004, 02:02 PM
 
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I really think that jealousy plays a small part of people who get upset or really shocked at a dad wearing their baby. From dads/men, I think it is that they didn't get to feel that close to their baby and for moms/women, maybe that their DHs/SOs weren't that connected to their babe, didn't help out, etc.

My DH rarely wore Abby, but when she was little he was always the one to carry her and always the one she sits with when we go out. Now, he is always the one chasing after her at the store, etc. I love it. He truly enjoys their time together and that makes me love him even more.
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#13 of 39 Old 12-17-2004, 01:31 AM
 
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guerrillamama....

"I saw a gay couple wearing their matching Shih Tzu dogs in matching slings. The men were matching too. They had the same haircut, the same beige Dockers, and were wearing almost the same color blue shirt. Which of course matched the slings."

GM that is too funny. We have friends who would totally get a ... reaction ...from this.

I loved to wear my dd in a sling and walk around. I lived in Madison WI so it wasn't such a big deal. Slings were the norm. But, backpacks seemed to be more common for men. She was so small compared to the type of sling I used that sometimes people would not be able to see what I had in there. Then I would get a questioning stare. Matching Shih Tzu dogs.

"To lose the sense of sacredness of the world is a mortal loss. To injure our world by excesses of greed and ingenuity is to endanger our own sacredness."    Ursula K. Le Guin
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#14 of 39 Old 12-17-2004, 08:41 PM
 
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i cannot believe total strangers would give a daddy crap for wearing hisbaby. especially in this day and age. dang. and from WOMEN!!

i - a mama - get plenty of looks but only positive comments. dh tends to get MORE looks, but no comments.

personally, when i see a dad wearing his young'uns, i usually strike up a conversation, but i've only seen one dad - outside of my circle of friends - earing his baby.
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#15 of 39 Old 12-18-2004, 02:10 AM
 
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My husband has only gotten positive comments, thankfully!

My two good sling/carrier stories are:
When my daughter was very small (2 months or so), my husband wore her to several outdoor concerts and summer events. You couldn't really see her in there, so he had several security guards say "sir, can I check your bag?" and when he showed them the baby, they would all smile really big and coo over her... and once the guy asked him where he could get one for his first baby who was due soon!

My mom brought a bunch of my dolls and doll accessories to me for a photo project. One of the things in the box of stuff is a doll carrier!?! I don't remember it, but apparently I insisted on having a carrier for my dolls. Some things never change I guess! (Although now I have a sling and a wrap, not a bjorn-type-thing!)

Happy with my DH, 2 kids, dog, fish, and frogs
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#16 of 39 Old 12-20-2004, 02:20 AM
 
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DS and I were having way too much fun to notice any looks.
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#17 of 39 Old 12-20-2004, 08:33 PM
 
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i've never noticed anyone giving me dirty looks for wearing my boi. never had anybody come and compliment me for it either though.
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#18 of 39 Old 12-20-2004, 09:58 PM
 
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i notice people smiling when they see my partner (flaxseedgruel) with elwynn in the sling or backpack
i love seeing men wearing their babies!

 

 

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#19 of 39 Old 12-20-2004, 10:20 PM
 
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Before I read the other responses, I was prepared to tell you that most women LOVE men who are being good fathers. And slinging is definitely high on that list! My husband wore our son in the bjorn all the time, and women just got silly around him!

As for strangers making comments? I would simply ask why they thought it was their place to comment.
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#20 of 39 Old 12-21-2004, 03:44 PM
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Originally Posted by annab
As for strangers making comments? I would simply ask why they thought it was their place to comment.
Then you get the whole indignant thing... "well, I never... humph, how dare you talk to me that way..."

One can't win. But it never stopped me from wearing my kids. Incidentally when I was wearing my niece over the Thanksgiving holiday at the store, I noticed that the negative reactions had not changed since wearing my own kids (3 or 4 years ago), but there were more positive comments, and from younger women in particular... maybe folks are getting the hang of seeing guys wearing a cute booger in a sling. The funniest positive reaction was from a burly giant he-man biker kinda guy... he actually got me to show him how to tie the sarong (turns out he has an 8 month old). I had four other guys watching me as I showed him how. My niece even was willing to let the big dude wear her... it had to be the big "shelf" we both had in front or something... That experience alone made up for all the bad moments ever.
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#21 of 39 Old 12-21-2004, 04:27 PM
 
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dov that is a great story! thanks for sharing!

 

 

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#22 of 39 Old 12-21-2004, 05:38 PM
 
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My husband was wearing our daughter the other day, but I took her for a few minutes and he was still wearing the sling. Some guy said to his friend: Hey look at that guy. He is wearing a sash!

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#23 of 39 Old 12-23-2004, 12:27 PM
 
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Ya my dh got looks too. Mostly from me and comments, "What a sexy daddy you are?" Now he get the "I'm glad your the one schlepping 35 lbs of toddler and another 8 lbs of backpack around and not me" look.
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#24 of 39 Old 12-30-2004, 01:56 PM
 
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You guys are so awesome. My dh loves to carry our chickie, but refused to wear a sling or even a snugli. He thinks it looks dumb. *Sigh* if only I could change his mind. I know he'd like it. But at least he loves to tote her around in his arms. That works too.

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#25 of 39 Old 03-03-2005, 10:09 AM
 
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my DH has worn our daughter a few times. the first time was when we were moving and packing everything up and had some of his cousins over to help out. His cousin (a male) made a remark like "wtf is that?" and DH was very calm and collected and explained that it was great invention called a sling, and kept her happy and his hands free.

He doesn't use it much now (every now and then) because he isn't too good at tying it and she is wriggly with him, so he carries her around instead. But he is always telling me to wear her in the sling!
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#26 of 39 Old 04-07-2005, 01:46 PM
 
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My dh has only gotton positive comments and looks so far He carried ds 1 in a bjorn all around DisneyWorld when he was 6 months old. It was cold so he had him zipped inside his (dh's) jacket with a little reindeer hat on his head. All you could see was this little baby face poking out of the jacket with this reindeer hat. People just couldn't get over how cute that looked :LOL He now wears ds 3 in a ring sling (finally figured out how to make it comfy with this third babe). I love to see men carrying their babies. Why should women get to have all the fun?
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#27 of 39 Old 04-07-2005, 02:13 PM
 
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My DH was the one who would do the slinging when we were out and about. He figured that 1) I toted them around enough when he wasn't there and 2) he loved doing it! He was a total chick magnet, especially when I wasn't around and he was herding our 3 yr DD and slinging baby DS at the same time.

Out of the public eye, DH is the one who "wears" them to sleep most evenings. DD, obviously not for a while now, but DS is still in the sling to get settled for the night (while I get DD to bed). We didn't realize how much of a routine it really was until a couple of weeks ago. DS (13 months, btw) was having one of those evenings where he really wasn't ready to go to bed at the normal hour, so we sat in the lounge and watched him be busy. Finally, he started to rub his eyes and DH asked him if he was ready to go sleepy-bye. DS walked out of the room and, to our amazement, came back in dragging the sling and handed it to DH!! He knew what he wanted, and how to get it too.

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#28 of 39 Old 04-07-2005, 02:17 PM
 
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I remember one time when my dh wore my newborn dd in public....he got ooohs and awwws and how cutes from everyone around him.

Take the time to heal from your marriage before you move on with someone else. Make a list of all the qualities you would like in a new partner and then work on growing that way yourself. ~mandib50
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#29 of 39 Old 04-07-2005, 03:07 PM
 
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DH was wearing DS in the moby wrap the other day. His friends busted on him (for fun) and he said it's different when it's your baby. Every single woman looked at DH like they were totally shocked. Lots of them smiled at DH...chick magnet.

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#30 of 39 Old 04-07-2005, 04:36 PM
 
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Dwayne begs me to let him wear Dar in public.Well, almost begs. He loves to hold her. He hopes that other dads and chicks will see him and the stereotype will melt away.
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