OK guys...do you take a shower before or after? - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-04-2005, 09:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is kind of a corney questions, but do you guys take a shower before or after sex?

The reason I am asking is because my husband prefers to take a shower before going to work, and not ever before having sex. His theory is that he wants to smell good while he's at work. What about smelling good for your wife???

Normally, I can put up with a little BO, but being pregnant with 24 hour nausea and being sensitive to smells makes it tough to get close to someone who hasn't had a shower for a few days...including cigarette smell and a gas problem. Am I being unrealistic in requesting him to take a shower before rolling in the hay? You can be honest!

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Old 01-04-2005, 10:45 PM
 
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If my dh had gone a couple days without showering and wanted to get it on . . . . I'd offer up the idea of doing "it" in the shower!!!!!!!!

That's gross . . . take a shower first!
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Old 01-04-2005, 11:31 PM
 
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Depends on what is gonna be done
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Old 01-05-2005, 12:22 AM
 
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Being clean before hanky panky is a good thing and is more of a turn on than being stinky. That is, unless various parts of the body are odoriferous and sexy to you unwashed. I prefer snuggling afterwords, rather than bounding up to shower. Unless I have somewhere to go.

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Old 01-05-2005, 02:17 AM
 
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Yikes, you're definately being reasonable! I think showering in the morning before going to work and then not showering again that evening would be okay (if he doesn't do manual labor stuff, or sweat a lot). Mine showers after work cause he does do heavy work, and doesn't shower before work, because there's no sense going in smelling like a rose just to be stunk up 5 minutes after walking in the door. (Soon to change, he's finally getting a desk job!) But there have been days when he doesn't even get a kiss until he's showered. If he comes in too exhausted to shower right away, sometimes he'll nap on the couch a bit, or sometimes I'll suggest a bath, but generally the rule is no dinner until he's clean.

But not showering for a few days? Exposing you to cigarette smell? (Does he know that nicotine soaks into clothing and you and the baby could be getting it into your systems!) I don't think it's unreasonable for you to request him to shower even if there's no nookie forthcoming!

Now the gas problem, hm, I think that's going to have to be a dietary thing...
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Old 01-05-2005, 03:11 AM
 
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My wife once said something like the following, "I'd be way more likely to go down on you if you were cleaner down there." Now I frequently take showers if I even think there is the possibility of getting it on. I'm not convinced I'm getting the desired result, but since I'm not convinced I'm not, I'll keep doing it.
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Old 01-05-2005, 05:45 AM
 
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My dh takes one before sex. He doesnt take one before work because he gets dirty there anyways. He takes one when he comes home.

edited to add, I am not going to actually post what he really said so I answered for him. LOL

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Old 01-06-2005, 05:28 AM
 
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I feel what you are saying. My DH is a chef in a kitchen, so you can imagine how I felt when he came home smelling like food, and a long day at work! When I was pregnant I always bugged him about taking a shower before bed, or else.... I also had morning sickness all the time, and the smell of food drove me cazy! :
I don't know what it is about men and not wanting to shower, I swear mine could go on for days without caring. Which is fine for him, but what about the rest of us that sleep in the same bed. Are we selfish to think this way? I guess not if so many others feel this way!
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Old 01-06-2005, 12:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saki
II don't know what it is about men and not wanting to shower, I swear mine could go on for days without caring.
I hate taking a shower from a simple "what else could I be doing" standpoint. I take no joy in taking a shower. When I get up in the morning I don't want to take a shower because I always feel like I'm running late in the morning. It doesn't matter when I get up, I always feel like I need to hurry to work. In the evening all I can think about is what else I could be doing.

"Well, I could take a shower, or I could spend that 20-30 minutes (assuming I wash my hair, which is about shoulder length and very curly) doing the dishes, putting away laundry, reading a book, playing a computer game, ..."
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Old 01-06-2005, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SirPentor
"Well, I could take a shower, or I could spend that 20-30 minutes (assuming I wash my hair, which is about shoulder length and very curly) doing the dishes, putting away laundry, reading a book, playing a computer game, ..."

...or you could be getting laid because you smell good!

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Old 01-06-2005, 06:24 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DesireeH
edited to add, I am not going to actually post what he really said so I answered for him. LOL
hee hee Des I wanna know what he said LOL

To answer op. my dh takes one every night after work so whenever he gets nooky hes cleaned up nice and smelly clean
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Old 01-07-2005, 05:46 PM
 
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Nope, you are not being unreasonable, I am having the same issue, all smells bug me like crazy. According to dh smells I used to find arousing, are just not doing anymore.

The other day when the issue came up for us, I turned it into a game and had a shower together. That way there was some play time but not at the expense of my nose.

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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Old 01-09-2005, 04:01 AM
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I take showers and still get complaints...: Nookie is still offered only on the very rare occassion as there are many many more numerous reasons for her not too offer... I'm probably an idiot... I know I'm doin' something wrong, but for the life of me I don't know what it is... we're just mismatched... despite my courteous grooming. :

I actually like showers, but I'm a water conservo-nut so I take 'em fast an mean (and ours is too small for two... ). I wanna build a Japanese style bath (brief shower stool next to a soaker tub: rinse off fast, soap & scrub, rinse off fast, soak). That'd be cool. I guess I hafta first build a house.. wel, that and find some land... blech... just like sex.. I'm just dreamin...
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Old 01-09-2005, 04:33 PM
 
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my man hardly ever showers- period. Of course, neither do I :LOL We're dirty hippies I guess

We love the smell of each others BO- we GIO almost everyday

***BUT if he smoked cigarettes- he wouldn't be gettin ANY- period! I can't stand the stank of stale smoke on the hair, clothes, not to mention kissing urgh! It seems like gettin more lovin would be a good incentive to get your man to quit!

At the very least he could de-stink himself by taking a shower!

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Old 01-10-2005, 01:48 AM
 
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Honestly, if my husband is interested and he can't wait until he takes a shower-which I always need for him to do-then we shower together.

Nina, wife to Michael , mama to DD1, DS1, and DS2, and "Bub" to
DD2
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Old 01-10-2005, 01:53 AM
 
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Hubby always takes a shower before bed......................therefore before nukey. I know......we've become boring!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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