lots of love and peace to all the gentle papas out there
i have complaints about my husband, but then i also have a lot of compliments for him, he's a complex person. i get caught up in the negatives sometimes, but most of the time i just love sitting and watching him play with Willow, or bottle-nurse her. i can see the love in her eyes for him! and how excited she is every time she sees him. now that he's working full-time, i made a little picture frame for her that's safe to chew on, with a pic of her and daddy in it, she loves to carry it around and look at it. i think it helps her not miss him so much all day, kwim? he's only home and awake for 2 of her waking hours, so i make sure he's the one that does the nightly routine, so they can have great bonding time.
my husband is very, very gentle with Willow, such as during bottle-nursing, i look at them and my eyes fill with happy tears, she looks so tiny and vulnerable in his arms, her body completely limp and trusting, him gazing down at her adoringly. i swear, they glow!
he's also very rough-and-tumble with her, shwooping her around, doing flips, crawl-chasing her through the house. she thrives on it! since i can't get physical like that with her, she blossoms in her daddies hands.
sometimes i look at him, and i think, "if he treated me the same way, our marriage would be a lot better." not that i want to be treated like a child! i mean, with the baby he just goes with the flow, he's spontaneous, he's caring when she needs it, he's funny when she needs it. he's in tune with her needs, even though she only speaks a few words. i think that can be applied to a marriage, can't it? i mean, the way i treat my daughter is with the same compassion, respect, laughter and love i treat everyone else, including my husband. i don't see why we have to be more reserved with adults.
i've told my husband exactly what i'm writing here, no response yet, but i do keep complimenting him on what a great father he is, and that honestly i could use a little "parenting" myself these days. i know he feels overburdened taking care of a disabled wife at the same time as working full-time and taking care of the baby at night while i rest. i'm one of those people that as long as i feel nurtured, it helps me recharge my batteries and i feel much better.
anyway. i just wanted to say, even those of us that have complaints about our mates, we are all complex people and there can be so much to love and to hate about one person, it does get confusing! overall, i love my husband dearly, and i love watching him thrive as a father, and i love watching my little girl blossom under his care.