What's up w/ men and football!? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 44 Old 09-12-2005, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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and golf and baseball and basketball and Nascar?
My dh is so addicted to sports. He plays golf 2-3 times a month in the summer and watches anything that has anything to do with sports on TV. UGH! Are sports really that great? I don't get it, I don't understand it and I don't think I want to! All I know is when he is zoned into an event, his eyes glaze over and it's very hard for me and my kids to get his attention. I feel like bonking him on the head with his 4 iron!!
:LOL

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#2 of 44 Old 09-12-2005, 07:03 PM
 
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Well, I'm not a man, but I love football and tennis. We regularly watch those sports on TV. Fortunately, my dh isn't one who watches any sport that's on. We are only interested in those two.
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#3 of 44 Old 09-12-2005, 09:35 PM
 
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It's a competition thing AND more importantly perhaps they have been conditioned to watch them. They tried to suck me in, but I have too short of an attention span.

Television rots your brain! :LOL
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#4 of 44 Old 09-12-2005, 10:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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<Television rots your brain! >

Fueljet..I concur with that statement, esp ESPN! I have asked dh about it all, I mean, I just don't get it, all the competition, what is the POINT?!

I do believe he has been conditioned. Or, perhaps a better word is brainwashed. All that time watching a football game is time wasted IMO. It's nice out honey, I'm going outside to have a life, buh bye. :::heavy sarcasm::: (I'm not bitter, just tired of having two tv's going and one of them paused on TIVO)

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#5 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 01:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sneezykids
Are sports really that great? I don't get it, I don't understand it and I don't think I want to!
No, sports are not really that great. I don't get it either.
I used to be obsessed with sports, and rankings, and statistics and scores, and titles and ALLLLL that crap....

Then, quite frankly, my mind went through the cosmic blender and I came out the other side quite happy to bask in my music and live in an illuminating way.

Forgive my opinion to anyone who believes otherwise, but... sports are a waste of time. Life itself is the great game to be played. If you want exercise, go for a walk. If you want camaraderie, join a band. If you want the heady intoxication of a public spectacle, try performance art.

What's up with men and football? It's simple enough. Some guys just like to play with balls... :LOL
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#6 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 01:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musicman
No, sports are not really that great. I don't get it either.
I used to be obsessed with sports, and rankings, and statistics and scores, and titles and ALLLLL that crap....

Then, quite frankly, my mind went through the cosmic blender and I came out the other side quite happy to bask in my music and live in an illuminating way.

Forgive my opinion to anyone who believes otherwise, but... sports are a waste of time. Life itself is the great game to be played. If you want exercise, go for a walk. If you want camaraderie, join a band. If you want the heady intoxication of a public spectacle, try performance art.

What's up with men and football? It's simple enough. Some guys just like to play with balls... :LOL

AGREE ENTIRELY! WASTE OF TIME!
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#7 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 02:18 AM
 
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I have actually developed a bit of a conspiracy theory surrounding pro sports and it goes something like this...

The typical fan is SO very wrapped up in his sport that the government can nearly write off this demographic as protestors or supporters in any given situation. Interestingly much of the legislative action happens during late football season. It's nice to have an influential mass of people wrapped like zombies while the legislature does whatever they choose. The sports media is so influential it's scary.

I was once at a Nine Inch Nails concert and I saw the influence that Trent had over the crowd. He could have easily insighted a huge riot...well that's nothing. God forbid the NFL go on strike. Men might start to think and realize what is actually going on around them. Almost ever man I have ever met that watched sports regularly felt little inclination or held little opinion on controversial issues and tended to follow the 'pack' mentality. By contrast, the opposite is true, those who did not watch seemed more opinionated and more educated. I would call them - LESS NUMB.

There is not one day when there are no professional sports on television. Not ONE day. One season meets the next so seemlessly that one could spend almost an indefinite amount of time watching sports. It nears addiction.

If you changed the channel and watched pornography instead of sports but never changed the watching habit, it would be grounds for an intervention and treatable by counseling. Men eventually must ask themselves 'when is enough going to be enough' because the sports will never end, but the watchers life certainly suffers dramatically.
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#8 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 02:30 AM
 
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Why whatch sports when you can do them?
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#9 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 02:39 AM
 
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Because, silly, that takes effort.

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#10 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 11:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well dh does play golf and is basically skilled at whatever he does (rollerhockey, skiing, waterski, tennis, etc)
which reminds me of HOW we ended up together!! We were dating and he was invited from his pals at work to play a little backyard football. I said lets not go, it was cold out and we can watch the Lions (detroit, always a real winning team :::sarcasm: on TV. Nope, he had to play.
Five minutes into the game everyone is huddled around a hurt player. I knew it was him, he was on defense and someone hyperextended his left elbow, fracturing it in four places.
He was casted to his shoulder nearly for two months or more. Of course, he needed help, showering, etc, dressing....so he sorta moved in w/ me and we eventually got engaged and the rest is history.
To this day his elbow will not full straiten even w/ all the physical therapy and elaborate cast after the cast to help extend it. Too much bone grew.
I warned him eh? He was 26 at the time, but I think he thought he was still 16 or something.
To this day when he gets crazy I remind him he is 35 and oh, our life insurance policy is updated right? :LOL

The thing I worry about now is our ds. They start tackle football in 3rd grade here!! TACKLE. Well, my kid won't be playing. Luckily, dh works too many hours to take him to practice himself. I won't do it. I want my son to be cultured not a jock. Playing sports are good but they are overrated IMO. Excersize is GOOD. Having your kid in 3-4 different sports in 3rd grade is Not. JUST MHO.


Sorry I got OT.

Thanks for the input.

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#11 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 02:40 PM
 
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Yes.. Sports are evil, yet looking through diaper sites for hours to find a Pure Wool 18 layer Lanolin Diaper Cover for $1.00 cheaper than another site is just fine.

I go outside, I'm very active with my wife and daughter. I watch the "big games" and our local teams. We have a DVR so we can just tape stuff too. It's important to me to watch our local team, but other than that I'm ok to record or just keep up with the scores. But when I want to watch a game, what's the big deal?

Why sports? Because it's just fun. It's fun to be interested in something that is bigger than "These 4 walls" It's why people read books, it's why people read the news paper, it's why people dream. It's to relate to the world outside of you and have things to be excited about.

Someone said sports were a waste of time and that we should do "performance art?" My opinion. Performance art is a waste of time. But who am I to judge, you don't see me posting threads saying "What's the big deal with performance artists!" To each their own.

If you think about it, everything is just a big waste of time isn't it? Why go to movies? It's just a stupid story. Why read books? They're just dumb stories about stuff that doesn't involve us right?

Why should sports be any different? I agree that gluing to the TV for the entire day isn't healthy or pro-family but being interested in watching a game? And then to keep up with scores? I think you all are going a little overboard.

Think about the things you do in your spare time. Why knit a wool sweater? Just buy one. Why cook dinner? Just throw a frozen dinner in. Why go to Starbucks for a latte? Just make a cup of Folgers at home.

You can do this all day long with the "Why do you..." We all do things in life simply for enjoyment and to escape. Someone who read the "knit a wool sweater" thing will of course jump down my throat and say "Hey, I do that because I enjoy doing it!" Exactly...

As with any activity. Excess is bad, moderation is the key.
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#12 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 03:11 PM
 
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Thanks for the perspective, PP.

I have NO IDEA what's up with men and football. My DH tried to explain it with this article, but it didn't make any more sense to me than any of my parenting articles must mean to him.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/8089281

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#13 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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<<As with any activity. Excess is bad, moderation is the key>>

I agree, and I think I opened the post with how my dh is 'addicted' to them, which is of course, MY subjective opinion too. He is in denial, but at times he will admit he is addicted.

I think his goes above a moderate amount. But, he has gotten better over the years thanks to TIVO and watching ESPN to keep up w/ the scores. I'm not saying sports are evil. But, to tune everyone out, esp. the kids who need their dad to pay attention to them (after working a 12-14 hour day) too isn't good, and I understand how hard it is, he wants to unwind and relax after a hard day, they want Daddy, I need a break too. Balance is key. Finding it is tough.

My last post was a little over the top so I do apologize. I was just trying to get a mans perspective on this. I guess I can be thankful, this year my dh did NOT do fantasy football!! YAY!! I actually THANKED HIM. That did suck up a lot of time, ugh!!

I also have a little problem with how dh hogs the TV on the weekends, leaving TIVO paused for hours so he can mow the lawn etc. and then I can't change it. Maybe I would like to watch Food network! I wonder what he would think or do if I just kept the Food channel on all day or HGTV, pausing it here and there, Fast forwarding the TIVO and the 'bleeep bleep' sounds all day. I can tell you he wouldn't go for that for one day!! Yet, because he loves sports I somehow have no choice but to have it on in the background all weekend.

That was my chief comlain. I'm done now. And yes, I do love him, sports addicted and all.


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#14 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 03:54 PM
 
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i like your point rdl2k5. i am a father that does enjoy sitting or standing maybe jumping on sunday afternoons. i may get a little carried away sometimes by ignoring the wife but for those couple of months that is my time. the rest of the year we do things that i would normally not do, mostly things for the kids. and during the fall and winter i change habits, i do more with the kids on sat and try to give extra attention to the wife the rest of the week.
i disagree with the fact that men who watch sports are less opinoinated. they may not care about what you care about but, that does not mean he does not have a opinion. do you think that if there were no football that your dh or whoever might have more opinions on topics that you are interested in or just another sport or topic. i am very much into politics, my wife not so much. you see where this is going.
i just think that men have to still be aware of there surroundings while football season is on.
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#15 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 03:58 PM
 
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:LOL ok i read that men, when they get overwhelmed with their own problems or the worlds problems...de-stress by simply picking a team in a sport and solving its problems within the game...so its that simple, gives them some relief :LOL same goes for watching the news...gives them relief from their family problems.

the source of this pearl of wisdom ?...."men are from mars...women are from venus"

dh has never been into sports...or the news really either...he does want to save the planet though...wow things must be that bad at home :LOL

sorry, carry on...
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#16 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 04:26 PM
 
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I have no desire to solve the problems of a team I don't do it to de-stress either. It's enjoyable. Some women will stand outside a scrapbooking store for hours because it's 25% off day. (We went 3 weeks ago 15 minutes early, there was a line 50+ people long, some had been waiting for hours) And that's no exageration. The first 50 people got a "gift" and we weren't even close.

Why would people do this! Right. They _ENJOY_ doing it. It's something that they have fun doing.

Pick something you enjoy, anything. Something that you do for pure enjoyment and not out of "have to"

Reading books, hiking, driving a convertible, walking for pleasure, taking an extra long bath. ( I do all of these things regularly, I don't consider any a waste of time. They are enjoyable to me) I'm not exactly sure what the difficulty in "Doing something simply because it's fun" is as a topic. I guess at this point I'm not talking about the eyes glued to the TV types but just enjoying keeping up with sports.

I work to have a balance with it all. Last night Monday Night Football was on. In some ways it would have been fun to watch, but a television show my wife and I watch was on at the exact same time. I taped the game on DVR and was going to "catch up" after wards. Daughter ended up waking up during our show and made us watch it 30 minutes longer. It was 10:30 when we were finished and I was ready to go to bed. So I missed the game, no big deal at all. It's recorded but I doubt I'll watch it.
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#17 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 05:31 PM
 
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Just wanted to throw out a different perspective...
I am a woman, and I love football, and baseball for that matter. Football season is my favorite time of the year, and I will sit and watch any game...don't even care who's playing. :LOL With baseball, I only watch my favorite team, but I can get pretty riled up screaming at the TV with either sport.
Why do I like it so much? I don't know...because it's fun I guess. It's probably the same reason that I can get so engrossed in a good novel...it's just an escape from my life for a short period of time, and I don't even have to go anywhere.
Anyway, that's just my .02!
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#18 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 07:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I dunno, I can tolerate football and have my favorite team (Michigan!) and even went to a game last year, and I can watch some of a NASCAR race (I mostly like the wrecks) and hockey (the fights) :LOL
and baseball? I don't like, but I like seeing those cute guys in their tighty pants! Weehoo!
I loathe basketball, all those big sweaty guys, ew!
And to the pp, I *really* dont understand sports nuts yelling at the TV, this phenomenon is way beyond me :LOL
Oh well, to each his own. Good topic.

Oh, and I like to scrapbook but there is no way I would stand in line for an hour to get a prize!

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#19 of 44 Old 09-13-2005, 11:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rdl2k5
As with any activity. Excess is bad, moderation is the key.
yes, that is the crux of the whole damn thing.
That is the answer to this entire conversation.
you nailed it, man.
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#20 of 44 Old 09-15-2005, 03:53 PM
 
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I love watching sports - baseball, football and basketball. Some of us men like sports. The competition. It is entertaining too. Also it is an escape in a way. Better than doing drugs! If watching sports takes away from family time then the watching should be reduced, IMO. There are some things women do not understand about men and there some things guys do not understand about women.
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#21 of 44 Old 09-15-2005, 10:20 PM
 
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I football!!!

You are aware you're in Bills country, right buddy?!?

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#22 of 44 Old 09-16-2005, 11:05 AM
 
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Wow, this is a pretty interesting thread. I tend to agree with FuelJetA. I often say that Marx needs to be updated - religion is no longer the drug of the masses, it is organized sports. I also do agree with rdl2k5 that on some level it is just something enjoyable and that moderation makes it a manageable thing. There are things I do occasionally that are indulgent and don't really move my life or other's lives forward (like watching a cheezy tv show or a movie). But to say that that is all there is to this phenomenon is a gross oversimplification. Sports is a billion-dollar industry and as many people have pointed out here it commands a large place in the modern media. The media themselves certainly do function as control in our society and we are all very much conditioned by them. To break this conditioning is not easy. A good example is the quality of television news in the States - abyssmal. It is formatted as entertainment and so no real content need be presented. But not to get sidetracked - sports really does occupy the attention of many people so that they don't pay attention to other things. I would say that actually PLAYING sports is different from watching it in that you are interacting with others, getting exercise, often outdoors, etc. I guess this means that watching sports on tv isn't really worse than watching anything else on tv.

There is one other issue here that I haven't seen addressed directly. That is the male socialization that often takes place in sports contexts. Not all sports are this way, but in many cases the empahsis is on being tough, competition and it can be rather brutal. I always hated sports environments when I was in school - the guys were so macho and bragging, mean to others and posturing all the time. It was an environment in which you boost yourself at the expense of others. This whole "we're number one" crap. I always thought that was a way for insecure people to feel special. I don't think this aspect of organized sports is insignificant or can just be explained away. It is certainly a way we socialize our boys an teach them what it means to be "men". Can there also be other, beneficial aspects to sports? Of course, but ignoring the ramifications and implications from the larger society such as gender socialization makes no sense. And I know there are lots of exceptions. My wife played lots of sports whereas I didn't, for example.

One last remark. I think that the things we find pleasurable and do for distraction and our ideas about them are largely culturally determined. The same goes for the food we eat and the choíces we make about birth and parenting. There is often room within the culture for differences but you cannot discount the pervading influence of the dominant culture. That is why Mothering.com exists in the first place - to provide an alternative to the dominant cultural attitudes about parenting. So it is important (in my opinion - or you can just ignore me) to view our likes and dislikes, what we find pleasurable, etc. in this context. Sports does take on larger meaning here and it is good to understand how it functions on these various levels.
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#23 of 44 Old 09-19-2005, 12:29 AM
 
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Oh I could have posted this myself. I am the type of girl that could easily go through life without sports in it at all.... and somehow I found myslef with a man that LOVES sports. Mostly football. He actually insited I join the Fantasy Football League this year, claiming that it will "bring us closer together" uke:
He says it's a part of who he is and I may come to like it with him... well, I have a period every month. That's a part of who I am, but I don't see him rushing to get himself on the rag... :LOL just kidding. Anyway, I don't know how I got myself into this. I mean it's not just the games, but the PREgame and the POSTgame and then the stupid commentary shows..........AHHHH!!!

I wish I was like, housemom of the year, but you don't see me trying to live vicariously through Martha Stewart Living....

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#24 of 44 Old 09-19-2005, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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tootpapa has some excellent points, how men ARE conditioned from early childhood to play and enjoy sports. In our school district I mentioned tackle football starts at 3rd grade. That is riduculous. There are two boys at my dd's bustop (in our small sub) who are playing and everyday before the bus they toss a football back and forth. Dd already is disgusted by them, how 'cool' they think they are. But thats her :LOL (((thinking: how glad I am she doesn't like boys yet!)))) I hope my ds doesn't want to play. My brother wrecked his knees playing and dh also had some sustained injuries. Plus, the stinky filthy laundry and smell gym bags, EW! If ds plays he will have to wash his own stinky jock strap cause this is ONE MAMA who won't! :LOL
A good point too about pro sports being a multi billion dollar industry. And should the players really make as much as they do? That's what gets me. Here we are in the U.S. w/ so many problems that need to be addressed yet we hail and praise a football player and pay him millions of dollars each year.

This weekend dh's favorite state team won over notre dame, he got so excited he jumped up and was going 'YEA!! YES! WOO!!' (insert various grunts) to which I replied "gee, you never get that excited about anything the kids do" I also told him I just didn't understand, so what if they won? It has no effect on my life whatsoever, it's just a GAME. A GAAAAAAAME. :
I also found some scores written that looked suspiciously like Fantasy Football scores, and he was from the TV to the Internet all day yesterday (well, he did take a break or two and played w/ the kids) I asked him, "I thought you weren't doing FF this year?" He tried to weasle out of it, saying it was just a one week scores game, not FF. Still, he bet $5 on it.
Plus it's such a passive thing to do. Just staring at the TV while someone else is reaping the profits. :
OH well I'm done venting.

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#25 of 44 Old 09-19-2005, 03:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Top-um Hatt
i disagree with the fact that men who watch sports are less opinoinated.
I stated that it was my experience and my opinion, never found to be fact!

Quote:
do you think that if there were no football that your dh or whoever might have more opinions
I am male, thanks!

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#26 of 44 Old 09-19-2005, 03:39 PM
 
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so very glad my dh hates football!
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#27 of 44 Old 09-19-2005, 04:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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<It was an environment in which you boost yourself at the expense of others. This whole "we're number one" crap. I always thought that was a way for insecure people to feel special.>

ITA. Dh still has a bit of this mentality. Very competitive. It rubs me wrong alot of the time or OTOH makes me feel competitive against him. And I'm not competitive by nature.
I remember the jocks and their attitudes in high school too. They were some of the meanest spirited people I knew.
I really wish I could accept more graciously this aspect of my dh, his 'addiction' to sports. Addiction is not the right word, perhaps his nuttiness about them. So very irritating when I am asking him a question and he just ignores me then says "huh?"
BTW, when we were in marriage counseling (we seperated for a while) the TV issue came up and I told the counselor that I have done everything short of cutting the cable cord to get his attention, actually standing in front of the TV and turning it OFF. I told counselor and dh, when he ignores me for football, he might as well be saying "what you have to say isn't nearly as important as this game right now"
Now my kids feel it. Our four year old is now turning off the TV and saying "Daddy, no sports, no TV! You can watch nascar later!"
Dh is blaming me for brainwashing them. I said, no way, they see what they see! Don't blame me!

 Mommy to Emily (16), Cal (12) and Claire Bear (3)
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#28 of 44 Old 09-21-2005, 06:54 AM
 
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I remember the jocks and their attitudes in high school too. They were some of the meanest spirited people I knew.

I was in a workshop about men and sexism in the 80's and we split into all men's and all women's groups. In the men's group the facilitator mentioned the lockerroom environment in middle and high school. I will never forget the painful sigh, almost wincing, that swept through the men. So many of us were really bullied and many were actually traumatized by the jocks, the "cool guys". I remember hearing the guys talk about girls and then the girls thinking these guys were so sweet when they were talking about them like they were pieces of meat behind their backs. This is what I tend to associate with "sports culture". I do think we need to be careful to qualify this discussion and say that this is not what all sports fans do, that in some sense it does not have to be this way. But I think this kind of experience is very common and parents should not fool themselves about their kids experiences. Of course the root of the problem is sexism and patriarchy, but it behooves us to take a look at how sports plays into these systems. The underlying message, in my opinion, is that men are supposed to be tough, to show no feelings but anger, and ultimately to sacrifice their bodies to the cause. The ultimate expression of this is that of the soldier dying for his country. I think in order to be a soldier in a war situation you must become dehumanized, or else you go crazy or are severely disturbed. Look at soldiers that return from war - often they are devastated. I know some will think this is taking the comparison a bit far, but it is important to look how these things fit together.

Sneezykids, it sounds like a lot of the issue revolves around television. I have watched my father, now retired, really begin to become absorbed by tv. Almost every reference he makes is to the mass media. It is rather scary. I myself watched a lot of tv growing up. It really operates like a drug. In fact, I think some drugs are actually a lot better for you than tv. It is a completely one-way experience. Your brain shuts down and the material (I purposefully do not call it information here) comes in. If there is anyway to get rid of the tv I would highly recommend it. I know this is tough and people often feel strongly about television, but pulling the needle out of the vein for a while (say a few years) can really help.
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#29 of 44 Old 09-21-2005, 11:22 AM
 
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I hate sports and married a man that did too He's more into gaming and reading, which is what I'm into as well, so we are more suited. Instead of having a TV hog though, I have a computer hog :LOL

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#30 of 44 Old 09-21-2005, 12:27 PM
 
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The comments about the "jock attitude" are interesting. I grew up being able to compete in every sport at a high level but never really got into the high school sports much. (one year of JV basketball and my ankle was broken for the next year, so I just didn't ever pick it back up) I played in the Boys Club and recreational teams year round with almost every sport. All star teams/travelling teams etc. For some reason when I hit high school I just didn't want to be on the competitive teams. At the same time, every night a group of my friends would load into the car and make the circuit around town to try and find pickup games of basketball. Against the people playing for the high schools, we more than held our own and normally won. With football, I was more than suited "size wise" to play there but it just didn't appeal to me, even though after school many days I'd be playing sandlot games.

One problem that I know stopped it was with my parents being divorced I had visitation that limited the amount I could participate. 6 weeks at my dad's in the summer right in the middle of High school basketball practice. "We'll try to take you to as many as we can.." (Umm, Practice isn't a choice, When you're on a team, you GO) as with anything you commit to. My dad was always interested to some degree, but it was very clear that he didn't "care if I played sports" In some ways that was a good thing because the whole "My son will be great at sports and be the superstar!" never came through. That wasn't for the right reasons though, that was just because he was too busy to be interested in that.

Everybody has hobbies from watching sports, tv, (posting/reading MDC), walking, knitting, reading, etc. If it's all taken with the level of importance it should have and not an obsession, I still stand by that people are being too hard on the fact that "Sports suck!" I'd say that people who indulge too heavily into anything "suck" But.. to each their own I have enough to deal with regarding my own family
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