Sex=Babies?? Traumatized dh - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 35 Old 06-02-2006, 09:34 AM
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Originally Posted by LisainCalifornia
Yes, I am hung up on the pull and pray method, especially when you quote it's pregnancy rate at 4%. When a man tries to pull out before ejaculating, he usually leaves behind a small amount of fluid that leaks from the penis during sex. This fluid has enough sperm in it to cause a pregnancy.
Actually we've been told that the pre-ejaculate contains no sperm...UNLESS there has been an ejaculation within the previous 12 hours. If used correctly (the guy has good control & both are committed to using it, plus observing the 12-hr rule), it's really effective. The 20% failure rate is from not using it properly. There has just been a discussion of this over at Fertility. We've used it for years without a failure and will again.

BUT it sounds like this isn't really the issue. Though maybe getting a more reliable form of BC (IUD?) would eliminate this "excuse" and enable you to talk more openly about dh's real anxieties? hugs to you.

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#32 of 35 Old 06-19-2006, 12:17 AM
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Wow, that's a tough boat to be in. I didn't want any more after my twins and I got two more....and we're financially strapped too. Stress has taken a severe toll on the sex life too, initially because of having children....and now because of the children. Its not easy, but you do what you have to. I agree that getting help may backfire in that he may see it as a threat, but that doesn't stop you from going out somewhere without kids and having a good long talk yourselves. Communication is always the key because its gets you the info you need to solve the problems.
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#33 of 35 Old 07-14-2006, 12:40 PM
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I have a similar thing about me. Being that I am newly married and wifey is preg with our first, she sometimes gets the urge to "do it," but I often put it off because I don't want to hurt my in-utero child. As soon as we see her doc again on July 21st, I am going to ask him about sex during pregnancy. I know that everyone says its safe and everything, but I wanna hear it first hand from him. Call me weird if you will....
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#34 of 35 Old 07-14-2006, 01:10 PM
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clittle--You're not alone. That's a common concern of fathers-to-be. (I'm a childbirth educator.) Glad your dad-instincts are kicking in! :-) Go ahead and ask the doctor.
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#35 of 35 Old 08-06-2006, 01:34 AM
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My grandparents used the withdrawal method as their only form of birth control their whole marriage and only had two children, both planned and both times she got pregnant the first month of trying so it can be effective.
Its very unlikely to be effective for young people (and obviously dangerous as if you're not in committed relationships) but its pretty effective within a marriage where both partners are committed to using this method. We've used it in the past too and will again. We've never found it a big hardship either, but then I wouldn't would I since its dh that has to worry about it for a change.. I like that!
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