DS is making violent statements - Mothering Forums

 
Thread Tools
#1 of 9 Old 12-06-2005, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
papapoochie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DW and I are pretty peaceful folk. No tv, no guns, compost, recycle, etc. Crunchy types I suppose. DS is 3.5 yrs old.

Anyway, my DW is getting pretty upset cause DS is making statements about wanting to hurt people, ie, "I want to pinch (add any little person here)." Or "I want to squish Jesus," etc. When we tell stories, which I do with him every morning while DW is grooming and before I head to work. He usually adds to the story like this....'and the train crashed into (add a friend of his here) and she cried."

Sometimes he will even try to kick another kid in the supermarket. Usually he is frustrated about something.

Anyway, any responses will be appreciated. When I was a kid I played w/guns and played cops/robbers, cowboys and Indians, etc. So, maybe I had that as an outlet? Any ideas?
papapoochie is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 9 Old 12-07-2005, 02:12 AM
 
Tata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: in a little nook
Posts: 1,269
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well, based on what you mentioned and what our DD went through and to a degree still goes through, it could be he is just processing things in a fantasy way. ANd, that's OK as long as he is made aware that the actual physical act of pinching / kicking is not OK. The frustration part is right on. Our DD had similar issues with hitting and frustration. Sometimes the frustration and processing parts get all mixed together. Like, being frustrated at not being able to process or understand something to their satisfaction. Who knows what is really going on in the three year old mind? The squish Jesus part is interesting. The first thing i thought of was a language issue. Like, you tell a story that has the phrase, crush your enemies, or some such idiom in it. And, the three year old mind only understands crush as in squish flat. Not crush as in defeat utterly. Soooo, you get, I want to squish Jesus. I've had to explain and am still explaining double and triple meanings of words and phrases. I really don't think you have much to worry about. It can be disconcerting, though. Like, when our DD processed through people eating fish. We are vegetarians and had to explain what the dead fish were doing in the store freezer. Her fantasy play went something like this -
You take the fish. Take the fishes body and chop it up.(makes chopping motion with her toy spoon hitting her play table) chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop...
Repeat the whole sequence several more times.
As far as helping with the processing, we've been very creative and sometimes firm about our boundaries and respect issues. Listening a lot and showing a lot of compassion in regards to her frustration. I hope this helps in some way. Don't despair.

"To lose the sense of sacredness of the world is a mortal loss. To injure our world by excesses of greed and ingenuity is to endanger our own sacredness."    Ursula K. Le Guin
Tata is offline  
#3 of 9 Old 12-07-2005, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
papapoochie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the insight and reply TATA!
papapoochie is offline  
#4 of 9 Old 12-08-2005, 01:43 AM
 
Tata's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: in a little nook
Posts: 1,269
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, yeah. She also chopped up a horse and a cow along with the fish.

"To lose the sense of sacredness of the world is a mortal loss. To injure our world by excesses of greed and ingenuity is to endanger our own sacredness."    Ursula K. Le Guin
Tata is offline  
#5 of 9 Old 12-08-2005, 12:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
papapoochie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 165
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
HA!!
papapoochie is offline  
#6 of 9 Old 12-15-2005, 07:02 PM
Banned
 
MrsMoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 2,097
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by papapoochie
"I want to squish Jesus,"


MrsMoe is offline  
#7 of 9 Old 12-15-2005, 08:06 PM
 
paloma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 857
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This happened with my DD. I tried to redirect it, and it got worse. I took her to a psychologist, and I was told to let her work it out. I think this is when they get scary and bloody. It coincides, I think, with talk of death.
paloma is offline  
#8 of 9 Old 08-10-2015, 04:08 PM
 
philomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,383
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 14 Post(s)
My daughter is a very gentle soul. We limited tv to very little before the ages of 10. We tried to pick suitable playdates. Had gentle preschool teachers.

So, where do they get these play ideas? I haven't a clue.

One day her little Playmobil people were all bound with wire at the legs and feet. She was pretending they were slaves and would "escape". At the time I think I was just happy she wasn't hanging them.
philomom is offline  
#9 of 9 Old 08-24-2015, 08:40 PM
 
defams's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 12
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I found great information on this thread, this will definitely give me more information to raise my kid.
defams is online now  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 9,547

76 members and 9,471 guests
Ajbaby , AlaskAnne , AmyC , Anne23232 , anon_abroad , AwesomeJessica , badwolf092087 , bananabee , blissful_maia , bluefaery , bluesapphire , bubbagirl , bubblybaby , calentine87 , chickabiddy , ClaudiaSaad , Dawn's mom , defams , elliha , elspethpaisley , frugalmama , gooseberry , happyhats , icantthinkofone , IsaFrench , japonica , jmhammond , joandsarah77 , jul511riv , katelove , kitteh , lbeyl , lc81002 , lilmissgiggles , LiLStar , LTurtle , MamaChick , marilyn612 , Marumi , michthrall , Milk8shake , moominmamma , MountainMamaGC , Mummoth , Mylie , Nenya , oaksie68 , pers , primalmom , rubelin , SandiMae , sarafl , sarah10998 , Satori , Serafina33 , shantimama , shoeg8rl , sleemothering , sofreshsoclean , someonenew1 , Springshowers , Steinn , StephMN , Tear78 , thepartyelves , Tigerle , TourmalineMama , TrishWSU , Tuesday , typebug , Wild Rose , zannster , zensven42
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.