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Old 07-26-2006, 08:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Man am I pooped. My candle isnt lit on both ends its a friggin road flare! I think I have actually stretched time so that you can now do more in a week than was posible before. I'm a SAHD, 4 year old and 2 year old girls, and let me tell you the 2 year old is TWO! She can be a royal @#$%#! : I cant wait till she outgrows this stage.
Anyway...I work 32 hours a week at Home Depot, 7-midnight 3-4 nights a week, and 16 hours every weekend. I usually have side jobs after work on the weekends and the evenings I dont work I spend working on the house. Being Seattle and all you only have so much time to do roofing, framing, etc.. before you start getting wet. My wife...what's her name?....I have a picture of her in my wallet...oh yea..TERRI! that's right...Shes the best. She knows that we are on a tight remodel schedule and if we want to beat the rain we need to keep on it. She works all day and comes home to the kids and myself, 1/2 hour later I'm out the door. No complaints. I LOVE her. However I MISS her. It feels like we are both single parents, we hardly ever get to do stuff all together as a family. I make sure we all sit down together for dinner as a family every night and thats nice but MAN I need to hit the lotto or something.

Out of a 168 hour week.
Work: 32hours
SAHD: 90hours
Sidework: 16hours
Remodel: 20hours

That leaves 10 hours a week for sleep.

I should double check my life insurance....

At some point I would like to see my wife, (not asleep) and spend some time with her. Oh yea there's that thing men and women like to do together, alone, what's it called again.....Sex! that's right. I would like to do that again. But you need to be alive for that right.

I can't wait for winter....
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Old 07-26-2006, 09:15 PM
 
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I know how you feel,but am a single-mom so there isn't the added misery of not see-ing my partner. It's just work work work, I hope it eases up for you both and you get some time soon. Try not to be too work-motivated if you can help it, I understand you have got to fix your house up and all. Maybe in a bit you could just pull out the stops and make a holiday happen or at least some time out.(you deserve it) Good Luck.
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Old 07-30-2006, 02:12 AM
 
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wow, that sounds really stressful...makes me feel a little lazy...I want to tell you to simplify your life...and start surfing...but that would be like someone trying to me to do more...

I have one 3 year old and a boxer...and a very relaxed schedule and sometimes my life feels stressful...you're way tougher than me...
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Old 07-30-2006, 04:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I grew up surfing in San Diego. Ocean Beach to be exact and it is the single biggest thing I miss. That and great mexican food.
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Old 07-30-2006, 04:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Moose
I grew up surfing in San Diego. Ocean Beach to be exact and it is the single biggest thing I miss. That and great mexican food.
You haven't surfed the WA coast...it's probably not as good as Cali but its fun...and a you need a 3/4mm wetsuit...Here is a link to Westport...it's the one I check when I don't want to drive out and check the waves first...
I just checked it but go figure everything is dark.
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Old 08-02-2006, 04:07 AM
 
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Moose, I here you.
Man, we gotta get a beer one of these days!
I just finished a 2 year remodel of our house in West Seattle.
It sucks now (belive me I know) but when its over and you're reading the newpaer on your front porch it'll be all the more enjoyable.
SB
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Old 08-02-2006, 02:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, a couple of Guinness and the world does look alot better.
Your right we should hook up some time soon. I'll PM you.
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Old 08-02-2006, 11:26 PM
 
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ahh, beer. wasn't it benjamin franklin who said it was a gift from the gods... nothing like a fresh pour from the local taps to make everything all right again. good luck with the stamina...

jon
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Old 08-03-2006, 12:49 AM
 
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Moose, can you cut down on the side work? even a little? A few hours? Or, at the Home Despot? Every hour makes a world of difference I've found. my partner and I have been on the opposite schedual thing befor. And, it sucks. Shave the time off of work. Wafer thin. Gain the time at home. Is good for yoo.

"To lose the sense of sacredness of the world is a mortal loss. To injure our world by excesses of greed and ingenuity is to endanger our own sacredness."    Ursula K. Le Guin
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Old 08-03-2006, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by FraggleRock
ahh, beer. wasn't it benjamin franklin who said it was a gift from the gods... nothing like a fresh pour from the local taps to make everything all right again. good luck with the stamina...

jon
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" -Ben Franklin

I have been lucky enough to have actually had a pint or two at the Green Dragon in Boston where our founding fathers conspired to form a new country over a pint or two themselves


Tata- I am actually cutting back a bit at HD. They want me to stay around and go fulltime when I can, they are grooming me for management. I told them they were burning me out and they are letting me adjust my schedule so I have more free time.

Thanks for all the support guys and gals.
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Old 08-08-2006, 05:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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"As a temporary measure to help the forum return to it's intended focus, all new threads posted to this forum will first pass through a moderation queue for review and approval before appearing on the forum list for discussion."

So.....When will the guys be trusted to post without "approval"?

Not to be a butthead but the "Moderation" thing is really lame.

Or is it just me?
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Old 08-08-2006, 02:36 PM
 
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I guess I've gotten pretty lackluster to this forum. I saw your post and within 1 hour a woman had already responded. As with so many responses on all the forums they start with..

"I am not XYZ, but I still have some advice!"

It sounds awful but that's why I didn't respond. It's almost like "Oh, the wrong people already responded"

We have twin girls and it's just amazing in the Parenting multiples forum people with 1 kid trying to give advice to us with 3 kids under 2 years old. I would say something nice like "It's appreciated" and all that, but it's really not.

I don't really know about the moderation thing. By reading the forum guidelines on the Dad's page, it makes sense what's trying to happen. I don't know how to implement it.

With 99% of members being female, it's an impossible task without that type of moderation I'd guess *shrug*
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Old 08-08-2006, 07:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by rdl2k5
I guess I've gotten pretty lackluster to this forum. I saw your post and within 1 hour a woman had already responded. As with so many responses on all the forums they start with..

"I am not XYZ, but I still have some advice!"

It sounds awful but that's why I didn't respond. It's almost like "Oh, the wrong people already responded"

We have twin girls and it's just amazing in the Parenting multiples forum people with 1 kid trying to give advice to us with 3 kids under 2 years old. I would say something nice like "It's appreciated" and all that, but it's really not.

I don't really know about the moderation thing. By reading the forum guidelines on the Dad's page, it makes sense what's trying to happen. I don't know how to implement it.

With 99% of members being female, it's an impossible task without that type of moderation I'd guess *shrug*

Yep.: I guess I just dont feel like I can post freely. I try and keep my nose out of the other boards that dont relate to me. Unless I have a question specifically for those people. I try to let people hear from the group they are targeting.
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Old 08-08-2006, 08:43 PM
 
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I have different craziness because my job is pretty flexible but when I'm home it's 100% babies all the time. But that's not to complain per se, I mean my wife does it 24/7. Leave for work with babies crying. Help comes around noon for her, then I come home at 5 and it's pandemonium. Twins and a toddler is just crazy!

We are lucky to get about 2 hours per night after they go to bed sometimes. And sometimes that peace is with a baby with me and a baby being fed and trying to get them laid down.

Usually, we're just happy to be going to sleep at night. We have issues with co-sleeping due to Anna not being able to sleep at all while they're in the bed. Our toddler typically comes in in the middle of the night and relocates me to another bed in with the twins and they both go in early morning for a feeding.

So, I'm there with you! Just under a different set of circumstances. We are lucky because really we have really good kids, there are just SO MANY OF THEM! Still not 2, our toddler still has so many immediate needs all the time.

it'll all change eventually, but oh how married life changes!
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Old 08-09-2006, 02:55 PM
 
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Sounds like a little bit of burnout moose. I had to reassess my projects around the house. I was getting ready to put a new roof on my garage/shed and had a friend come over to look the job over, but the sheathing was so badly rotted that I had to just cover it up w/tarp to seal it. Then the air conditioner broke and the cars been giving me trouble. Not to mention all of the other fun stuff that goes w/being a parent, employee, husband, etc.

So, I guess my point is, I'll get contractors in when my time is too limited(although I really hate paying for something I can do myself). I got someone to put the roof on for a reasonable price. The air cond probably needs a shot of puron (no longer uses freon) so that's no big deal. The car I'll fix myself.

I lived in Seattle in '97-'98. I really loved it. Lived downtown on Western Ave near the Pike Place Market. So, I know what you mean about limited time for outside projects, especially a roof. Good luck.
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Old 08-09-2006, 04:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by papapoochie
I lived in Seattle in '97-'98. I really loved it. Lived downtown on Western Ave near the Pike Place Market. So, I know what you mean about limited time for outside projects, especially a roof. Good luck.
That's a fun area of town.

Things are backing down a bit now, I've wrapped up some projects and farmed out some others. I just need to not pile my plate so high.

Thanks guys!
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Old 08-09-2006, 10:09 PM
 
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I am quite new here and I didn't realise that women were not welcome to post on this forum, so apologies for posting. I didn't realise this was a Dad's only forum.I thought it was a forum where Dad's shared their views and anyone was allowed to share.I know there are plenty males on the other forums so I hadn't quite sussed it. I quickly realised this after reading rdl2k5's post which states that a woman replied to the op within an hour, er oops, and also that my irrelevant support was not wanted and indeed that rdl2k5 did not post because the 'wrong' people had already replied. Erm, A simple 'scuse me but this is the Dad's forum for Dad's only, ta' would've done. There is nothing derogatory or insulting in my post,just words of support, which I can't say the same for said poster who has quite ignorantly treated my genuine post of support as some sort of ..wrong?: This is the first time I've encountered hostility on mdc and I have to admit I'm a bit dismayed. I woulda thought I would have to be really insulting to somebody(which I would not do anyway) to recieve such blatent ill-will. But hey I guess we live and learn.
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Old 08-10-2006, 02:13 AM
 
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awww... its okforthebest- ....

i too- am a woman- who has been here for years and never checked out the dads forum....lol- but the dudes..... thread topic caught my eye!!!!! lol.....

anyhow- off i go to womanland- i agree you guys should have some space of your own w/o a bunch of us jabbering your ear off! I would love it if my dh would start posting.... i bet he will now if it will truly be for just dads.
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Old 08-10-2006, 03:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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awww... its okforthebest- ....

i too- am a woman- who has been here for years and never checked out the dads forum....lol- but the dudes..... thread topic caught my eye!!!!! lol.....

anyhow- off i go to womanland- i agree you guys should have some space of your own w/o a bunch of us jabbering your ear off! I would love it if my dh would start posting.... i bet he will now if it will truly be for just dads.
Thanks Emilie! I swear I'm not trying to be a jerk. I just want the guys to feel like they are free to post here. I 'm on here every day and the guys have been silent for a reason.
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Old 08-10-2006, 09:38 AM
 
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There is no hostility. Any feelings of that are your own and not prompted.

You are as welcome here as I am in the Single Parenting Forum. Nobody would crucify me if I posted there, but being a married guy, I'd be in the wrong place. About 90% of the forums here really "aren't for me" I frequent Parenting Multiples, Pets, Gentle Discipiline, Toddlers, and Parents as Partners. All appropriate because I have infant twins, a dog who I'm in to learning more about training, and a toddler who I want to make sure I understand age appropriate behavior.

It's not about exclusion, it's about inclusion of the appropriate target audience (which isn't happening) and maybe it can if posts are more in line with the focus.
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Old 08-10-2006, 02:30 PM
 
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I don't mind the ladies, although sometimes we guys do need a voice and space to talk about things. No big deal here.
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Old 08-10-2006, 02:54 PM
 
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rdl2k5,I have no interest in starting an argie here but I could not really let your post go unanswered. I did not imagine hostility, it would appear that not only my female status that is 'wrong' here but also my single-parent status. If you think I've got nothing better to do than hit on men, married or otherwise online or off then think again. I have no history of such activities and have no interest in men who would hurt their wives or partners. I do not exclude myself to the single-parenting forum just cos I am one. Gender imo is just another tool to oppress us with, I have ample male and female blood coursing through my veins. The reason I replied to the op was to give support to a Dad who is overworked, something I can totally relate to whether I'm male or female,married or otherwise. I related to this post cos I've just spent weeks plastering our 200 yr old house and fixing up the roof as it's seen better days. We are 100% skint fulltime tho I work for crap wages. I also do a lot of work on our old scrapper so I can travel the 20 miles to the shops,take my dc camping etc, we live very remote in the scottish highlands and I do EVERYTHING myself. I'm also a traveller and I lived on the road ,alone with my dc, and had some hard times. I am very happy single-parent cos it gives me peace of mind. I ended up with a slipped disc and a knackered back from all this work, don't get me wrong I love working at stuff but never learnt the skills needed but am working on it.And that's why I replied to the post to say hey, give yourself a break. I totally understand that it is essential that men have a voice and their own space on mdc and reading through previous Dads posts I now see that a lot of women do post on them, I don't think a Dads only forum would be pc or that but I am sure there is a way round that and hope that you Dad's get the space you deserve, kind regards,Mary.
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Old 08-10-2006, 03:37 PM
 
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http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=457823

You can take this debate up with the board administrators if you like. The post there is not mine. All the stuff about trying to hit on men and not being welcome because you're single. As I said earlier. You are creating issues that aren't there. I'm not sure what part of anything anyone has said would lead you to believe that people thought you were here to pick up internet boyfriends.

You can take up further debate on the topic through PM's with the board administrators if you like. I didn't make the guidelines.
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Old 08-10-2006, 04:20 PM
 
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There is no debate, merely several sexist comments aimed at myself after innocently posting words of support to a Dad.I was in noway contravening the forum guidelines. Your posts alluded to me being 'the wrong people'-giving 'unwanted advice', thats fair enough but you were not the op and he'd already said thanks to everyone who had posted! single-mums should be in the 'appropriate' forums as it is not cool to be in the dads forum due to them being married men. I'm cool about that fact but had to reply in my defence and have no interest whatsoever in causing a stushie with no-one but I still won't take sexist crap shoved at me. Read your own posts and observe the tone.
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Old 08-10-2006, 06:23 PM
 
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I re-read my posts. I will make the same statement that nobody said anything about single mom's coming to a dad's forum was inappropriate because it's single women and married men (not all are married) talking. You read that because you wanted to read it.

You are placing far too much negative connotation with being a woman and the idea that the simple fact that a man is speaking and saying the word "woman" automatically means that there's a negative stereotype there and that women are in some way inferior. Men who come to this board typically are in committed relationships who put family first and believe that their wives are equal partners in that relationship (myself included) You are dissecting my posts and incorrectly reading into things with your own preconceived notions.

The fact that I differentiate between a man and a woman doesn't mean I'm sexist. It's a characteristic. And heaven forbid.. We actually _ARE_ different. Not better or worst, just different.

I brought up the single parenting forum, because it would be inappropriate for me to come into that forum and begin posting when it's not something that I have any real basis to stand on.

So to summarize.

1) My comments to you have nothing to do with the fact that you are a single mom. The characteristic of you being a single mom never entered into my mind frankly.

2) This forum is for Dad's. It's not for Dad's because we're better than women. We have posts frequently from mom's who say "Hey my husband is doing this or that.. What's up" Those are dad related. Directed at us. Cool, let's talk about it.

3) I made no sexist comments. People have a tendency to filter information so that it registers based on their preconceived stereotypes of situations. (A man is posting.. I'm a woman, He must think he's better than me!) Sorry. That's just not true. No matter how hard that is to believe.

4) People like me are going to post here. We aren't going to sugar coat things and sometimes we're going to talk about topics that may "degrade" women or glorify things like sports, video games or jobs or things that have nothing to do with being a dad.

I'm not sure why you want to be a part of the Dad's forum anyways or what would prompt someone to just randomly choose this forum to stroll in to. There are probably 95% of the forums that I've never entered because they have nothing to do with me

These responses are part of a much larger issue and really don't have much if anything to do with you specifically. It's more about the larger issue about so many men lurking and feeling like we're in he midst of 500 angry women reading and ready to post at any moment. (Which is showcased by the responses here.. Hostile.. Sexist..etc etc.)
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Old 08-10-2006, 07:03 PM
 
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i agree with you Rdl.... really leaving now....
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Old 08-11-2006, 01:23 PM
 
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rdl2k5 and all dads please accept my humble and sincere apologies for butting into the dads forum. This was not intentionally aimed at annoying anybody. rdl2k5 I read your post and now understand your valid points on appropriate forum posting, I had not thought about it that way and see that indeed you are quite right to assert that dads is for dads. I did not want to be a part of the dads forum and had not read any posts on dads forum(apart from the one I replied to)nor the guidelines. In hindsight that was my mistake, I now realise there is an issue with people posting who are not dads and hence dads space is ...not dads space for those reasons. I should have followed my instincts as when I first saw dads forum I rightly thought thats a space for dads stay away, but doh stoopid me went firing in, its just I have seen plenty dads post in all the other forums well with the odd exception of birthing stuff and that and so I feel like a total jerk now and hence the apologies, also sorry for going completely off at an angry woman tangent, I have real bad rejection issues from being dumped as a baby by couldn't care less parents and I thought I was over being defensive at the drop of a hat, will attempt further to deal with said issues as I think life is a learning experience. I joined the mdc community to learn, give/recieve advice support I really love this site! Certainly not to p**s anyone off and I have felt truly wretched over doing so. Perhaps I have recieved the brunt end of unwanted posts in dads forum ongoing thing and I apologise again for getting defensive over the single-woman/mom stuff I am prone to getting that kinda stuff(possibly cos married appears to be the default for all 'good' people/parents) which bugs me no end as I 100% respect people, their relationships and respect their right to have their values and so am a bit of a walkover on the sensitivity front. Peace.
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Old 08-23-2006, 03:21 AM
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im not a dad yet but know how you feel especially with the two year old but can say this that that is one of the most fun ages, yet it does come with its hassles

get a nanny(or a manny lol) and CHIILLL
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