Dads. What charms you? - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-12-2006, 02:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What makes you feel appreciated? loved? romantic? and yes, sexy (please keep within the UA or PM me : )

Any and all stories/suggestions/ideas greatly appreciated. I'd be happy to read happy stories just for their own sake!
Book/blog/website recommendations are great too.
Our youngest is finally getting to be less exhausting and I have a little bit more energy sometimes.
So I'm not looking to 'get' anything from my DH. I just want to give a bit more love in some way I haven't expressed before.
However, when I google 'seducing men' I don't get what I'm looking for - to say the least.
So I'm here humbly begging for your assistance.

Much thanks in advance.
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Old 10-13-2006, 11:47 AM
 
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I'm not a Dad, hope that's OK. I could use a few new ideas too.

Dh loves it if I bake something special for him. Pie, cake, cookies, a favorite meal. Especially if I surprise him with it.

He doesn't like massages so those are out. (Not even foot rubs- what is wrong with this man?! )


Or if I know he's had a long day and one of 'his' chores needs to be done, I'll try and help him.

Maybe clean out his car one morning while your babe and dh are sleeping? DH loves a clean car but isn't the best at keeping it clean, so he would appreciate that.

Do you have anyone trusted to watch your baby for an hour or two? You could have a quick dinner and then do the bedroom boogie without worrying about a kiddo waking up
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Old 10-13-2006, 12:30 PM
 
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I'm listening too!!
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Old 10-13-2006, 01:49 PM
 
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The way to my heart is my stomache...

My wife makes Lasagna that is just awesome, but it takes hours to make, not easy with little kiddoes.

Every weekend my wife and I trade days to sleep in... (she gets the short end of the stick since we have 2 nurslings right now) But at least I take our older DS (16m) out of our family bed and let the newbie and my wife sleep in peace. Of course my days to sleep in are super luxurious... I set an alarm for 5am and sneak upstairs for some guest bedroom hard sleeping.
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Old 10-27-2006, 04:41 PM
 
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Uhm... charms me? Uhm.... appreciated?

....

Not sure. Most symbols of appreciation I recieve are the "sneak up on me and passionately kiss me" variety, which, don't get me wrong, I do appreciate. Otherwise, that's about it. She bought me tickets to Sound of the Underground, and arranged for some friends to go with me last year, which was AWESOME, but 99% of the time, she's too busy keeping our kids well-adjusted and the house from falling down to try to charm me, and I don't blame her... our kids are tiring.

I'm not being helpful, am I? Uhm....
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Old 10-31-2006, 03:07 PM
 
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random touches and gifts. same stuff women like and say they don't.

Partner to :Jessica(??) papa to Jake(7) and : Kaiya (2)
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Old 11-04-2006, 11:28 PM
 
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I am totally in love with my Fiancee, and all she has to do is smile at me. she is not good at "mushy" stuff, and I am a hopeless romantic.

Last night I sat down with her and watched "Beaches".. Something i normally wouldn't do, but I did it to make her feel good. Anyway, half way through the movie, she looks up at me and says,

"You can watch a horror movie tomorrow night, since i made you sit through this". That to me got me going, the fact that she noticed me.

I was just happy to be spending some kidless time with her... Don't get me wrong, I love the children, but there are times when i just want her to myself. To talk to her in ways I can't and do things with her that i can't, when the kids are awake.
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Old 11-05-2006, 02:11 AM
 
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Hmm... being able to snuggle against my wife in bed. See, we started cosleeping not long after DS was born. So he was always in the middle, and we could barely touch. And, since his feet were at just the right level to hit the ... jewels, I had to turn outward, and so she could touch me but I couldn't reciprocate. We've recently rearranged the room so that one wall is against a side of the bed, so we can put blankets/buffers there, and he can sleep between both of us and the wall. Which means that I can snuggle against her, which for me really means a lot.

I also really appreciate getting "time off", to go do some programming, or websurfing, or whatever I want. Sadly, we don't get a lot of "us" time, but as DS is getting older, we should be able to leave him at the MIL's house and go see a movie, or something (I hope!).
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Old 11-06-2006, 01:37 AM
 
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Wife and I have different hobbies and interests and some common ones.

I will feel very good if we participate more together for our hobbies.
I value quality time spent together.
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Old 11-08-2006, 05:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been checking this thread and will continue to. Thank you for any and all ideas/replies.
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Old 11-20-2006, 04:43 PM
 
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Here's what works for me:

Attention. Gentle attention.

When I come in from work, a hug, a kiss, a bright smile, "I'm so glad your home." Don't gush, but be genuine. Don't tell me about the sink clogging up, the mini-blinds that crashed to the floor, the ceiling fan that sparks when you pull the cord or how the kids spooned ice cream into the computer. If you want me to think romance, appreciation, love, then don't hit me with problems when I walk through the door. (If the problem is serious enough for that, I'd presume you've called the appropriate people to fix it. And if I'm "The Appropriate People", then tonight isn't a love/appreciation/romance night.)

Dress up. Inside and out.

You don't have to be wearing a formal evening gown, but a nice skirt/top or dress would be appreciated. Run a brush through your hair, brush your teeth and put on a little of that fu-fu water I like. Skip the makeup. That stuff looks awful and tastes worse. (And let's face it, if you're going for romance, at some point my lips--and perhaps my tongue--are going to be on your face. *blech* Makeup is awful!)

Oh, and don't forget the unders, hosiery and shoes. These may seem extraneous, but they can be key to making "the look" that changes you from "frumpy house frau" to "gorgeous love pet". My personal tastes aren't really important here--but learn what your SO's tastes are. (I like heels, stockings and "butt floss"--if anything there at all--with a non-nursing bra. I suspect I'm not terribly different than most, but check it out with him, to be sure.)

Aggression. Eagerness. Vocality.

If you're going to this much effort, then push it through to the end. While we're kissing, unbutton my shirt a bit. Give me a sly grin that says you intend a lot more. When I make an action, respond to it. Help me along. Show me what you like. TELL me what you like. Vocally express that you like it (we're talking without words, here, if you catch my completely non-subtle drift... ).

Most men (or at least the ones I'm (un)fortunate enough to be friends with) want their wives/girlfriends to take complete charge. They want to be "putty" in the ladies' hands. I'm a little different in that I want to be just as agressive (if not moreso), but I definitely want that to be mirrored and reciprocated by my ladylove.


Bottom line: think about how you like to be treated and treat him in much the same way. If you like it when he focuses his attention on you, dresses up nicely for you, wears his cologne, doesn't hit you with the troubles of the day, then slowly undresses you and is aggressive with you... well why wouldn't he want that same response from you?
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Old 11-29-2006, 09:31 AM
 
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Vellorian, that was a great little tutorial. I think Ive actually dreamed (fantasized?) about playing out that exact scenario, but its hard to coordinate childcare and getting both DH and myself on the same schedule since he works 10PM to 10AM 5 days a week. I do get about a third of that done on a daily basis, though.
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