DW wants to take me to the vet to get tutored! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 05-02-2003, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi All,

The title of this post refers to a Gary Larson Far Side cartoon where a dog is leaning out a car window telling his friends where he is going.

Anyway, I guess I might be getting neutered soon, and was just wondering if there are any experieces, thoughts or suggestions that could be shared.

In case there are few neuterable folks reading this, feel free to ask others about their thoughts, which then could be shared second-hand.

Cheers,

pb
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#2 of 25 Old 05-02-2003, 03:00 PM
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From the partner of a neutered man, I say,

"YEE HAW, BABY!"

It is absolutely amazing how a little snip makes such a huge impact. All that lovely, non-worrisome, any where, any time fun.


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#3 of 25 Old 05-02-2003, 11:09 PM
 
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As friends with a man who had it done twice (and has the third child to prove it : ), get checked for fertility afterwards. At least once!!
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#4 of 25 Old 05-14-2003, 02:11 AM
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I'm still waiting for Moon's experience to happen here....:

But I'm glad to be "neutered." I wrote a story about it three days before I went in the first time (I had to go through public health and there was a red-tape snag which made me wait six more months before I could get the next appointment... grrr). DW got all weepy at me over the story and I had to explain that it was just my way of passage-ing myself into this new "unleaded" phase of life. She read it again and was relieved. (I think )

Anyway, my men's circle did some ritual work around the event and that of course made it less stressful for me. I'm extremely body-aware and I did some meditation and breath work before I went in. Locals never work on me and seven hits of lidacaine [SIC] later proved to the docs that I indeed knew my body well (they thought I was a wimp until all that anesthetic wasn't doing anything). I told them to do their duty and I meditated through it and it was fine. It hurt a lot less than I'd anticipated and even though my recovery took longer than the average dude, I do not regret it nor was it as bad as I had prepared myself for. The hardest thing the week or so after was not doing all my normal physical routines (being a SAHD who can't lift totally sucks).

The worst part was the 10 week "check." If you have a private doc, you probably won't have the embarassment of the absolute lack of facilities to.. you know, collect a specimen for testing with any sort of dignity. You have to test negative twice before you're "licensed to thrill" again.

Tip for post op: frozen peas. They're shapeable in just the right way and stay cold longer. Also, Gramicci pants (gussetted crotch) are god's gift to neutered males.

Welcome to the Passage, man!
Dov
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#5 of 25 Old 06-06-2003, 04:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, it's a done deal. I am sitting here with a bag of frozen peas doing their job.

It went pretty well. I asked to keep the two short strands of spaghetti the doc cut off. He said I was the first in 20 years of snipping to ever ask for them. They are in the freezer right now.

The only bad thing is I have to wear this dumb plastic cone around my neck for the rest of the week. Did anyone else have to wear one, or is my wife playing a joke on me?

pb
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#6 of 25 Old 06-07-2003, 09:59 AM
 
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Baahaawwwwwww!!!!!
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#7 of 25 Old 06-09-2003, 03:32 PM
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I guess I wouldn't have my husband get a vasectomy.
I would really look at the longterm health consequences before going ahead with the surgical procedure.
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#8 of 25 Old 06-09-2003, 06:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by papabliss
I asked to keep the two short strands of spaghetti the doc cut off. He said I was the first in 20 years of snipping to ever ask for them. They are in the freezer right now.
And what in the world are you going to do with that? Soup? Plant it under a tree?

Lol!
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#9 of 25 Old 06-09-2003, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Actually Yea, I do plan on planting it.

We have a nice collection of biohazards buried at my mol's place in the mountains of Montana. I think my former parts will fit in nicely with the other souvenirs we have brought home from the hospital.

Probably just more coyote chow, but what was the doc going to do with them? Landfill?

Cheers,

pb
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#10 of 25 Old 06-09-2003, 11:50 PM
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Here's hoping my experience.......(if you'll pardon the pun)........bears out for you.

Corn works as well as peas.
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#11 of 25 Old 06-10-2003, 05:22 AM
 
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wow man, i can never see my self dong that. you definelty soudn like you are ok with the whole sittuation. i have freinds that have it done. most of them love that fact they do not have to worry about it. the other felt, yes like a dog. but they all where glad when they start to test their new upgrade. but i still think i can never get that done but only time will tell. have fun!!!
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#12 of 25 Old 06-10-2003, 12:48 PM
 
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While I was pregnant with #2 son, we had planned for DH to get "tutored" but then I read something online that gave me pause:

http://www.dontfixit.org

The stories reminded me that, before I had a c/section, I thought c/s was "just another way for a baby to be born" ... not a significant medical event it itself.

So I'm wondering, Dads ... have any of you had any of these sorts of pains/problems? I certainly don't want to sign DH up for a lifetime of, well, "blowouts" (to use their term) and the potential chaos that could occur from that.
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#13 of 25 Old 06-11-2003, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi,

I did some research prior to the decision and discovered many of the topics brought up in the article you posted. I do believe that an elective surgery of this kind holds risks, however, up until now, I have allowed my wife to assume all the risks (birth control pill, childbirth, breast feeding infections, etc.) and after study felt like the risk associated with a vasectomy were acceptable.

Additionally, I discovered that several of the concerns brought up in the article have not statistical foundation in later research. To add personal evidence for that, once I started talking to friends about vasectomies, it seemed like everyone and their dog had had one except me. Among my extended family and friends I found zero complaints, problems, health issues, etc. including my father who had one decades ago.

Thanks for the information, but like many risks in life, I may choose to take the risk, but I want to minimize the number of surprises that could await me.

Cheers,

pb
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#14 of 25 Old 06-11-2003, 05:01 PM
 
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Thanks so much for posting this. My DH desperately wants to get 'fixed' after #4 is born and I am profanely (is that a word?) against it. I don't know tons of people who have had it done. I do however know one woman whose husband had it done after having #4 with wife #1. His 'issues' were immediate in that sex was no longer pleasurable. Sex was 'ok' and he ejaculated but never again felt an intense climax. Less than a year after he had his vas he had it reversed hoping to achieve the feeling he had before but it never came back. He got a divorce and married my friend, they decided to have children but because of his previous vas his sperm couldn't make the trip and they ended up with invitro, seems like the worst of both worlds.
I have read everything at dontfixit.org and have required DH to do the same before making his final decision. I suppose you could say that it is all anecdotal or there is no scientific proof but so is the link between silicone breast implants and auto immune diseases and vaccines and autism.
We practice NFP and our little one due in October is a surprise using that method. I won't take bc pills so DH sees this as the only way for us.
It makes me and it makes me
Not to mention the Catholic guilt!
Keri

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#15 of 25 Old 06-14-2003, 06:53 PM
 
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When I went in for the C-Section for DS3, I wanted to have a tubal, but, as I didn't sign the consent form 30 days in advance, no dice. Of course, I thought about going and having it done, but my OB told me I've had enough trauma to my uterus and to let DH take the hit. Well, neither of us has had anything done and we are seriously considering number 5. Number 5 will be the last and I will be sending DH to the vet to get tutored! The risks for me are much higher than for him. Thanks for all the info, gentlemen. You are extremely helpful!
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#16 of 25 Old 06-14-2003, 11:11 PM
 
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kerikadi,
T but your latest and greatest is due on my birthday and i totally agree w/your and - thankfully my dh wouldn't consider a vasectomy. we are also catholic and it's not so much the guilt as i am just happy to what GOD will be giving us and i just want to be open to life. it just feels like the right thing to do.

i can understand and am not getting down on anyone that believes it is the right thing for their family to do otherwise, but i'm glad that this is one of the few areas in which dh and i agree.

also, one of my best friend's dh's just had it done (:LOL i'll have to tell him about the peas) but he's only 30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yikes, it just seems so young. oh and she's catholic : too. guess she's one of the "pick and choose" catholics though. apparently the infamous "catholic guilt" is not an issue for her.

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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#17 of 25 Old 06-15-2003, 02:52 PM
 
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Leighanne,
Thanks for your post It's nice to know others know how I feel.
I guess technically I am more Catholic than DH. He is an only and had planned on having one child. I already had 2 when we met & married so he had planned on adding one. We have used NFP since marriage and it worked great until we decided we were ready to 'start trying' well, we got pg that night. This time around my cycle returned WAY too fast and we started charting again. My signs are very reliable even though I am not able to temp because I still have a night nursling We were using the 5 day rule but then I ovulated 1 day early. At first I thought we would be safe with 4 days but nope We know this baby chose us and are very excited but the babes will only be 16 months apart.
DH was raised that children are a burdeon and his dad had his vas to make sure there wouldn't be any more burdeons He doesn't feel this way but his family certianly does.
I would love to be open to what God has planned for us. However, it is very obvious that includes a great deal of fertility.
I worry that I will be mad at DH if he makes this decision and that I won't have sympathy or understanding if there were any complications. As his spouse I feel I need to support him in everything he does but I can't support this
He hasn't done his research yet and we haven't talked about it in a while. He has mentioned it when he was talking about someone else having it done and I just get real quiet and he changes the subject.

I hope I can come to terms with this.

Keri

P.S. It's nice to see another Catholic here - I don't think there are many of us on this board.

 Keri wife and Mama to  Cory 17,  Brendan 15,  Kerianne 8,  Avery 7,  Lilia 3
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#18 of 25 Old 06-16-2003, 11:26 PM
 
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sorry - thread hijacking!

kerikadi-there was a thread awhile back in finding your tribe for catholic mamas, it kind of died out, but you can search for it. there's more of us than you think

i agree too that being open to what GOD gives us is a frightening prospect. i've already got 3 pgs that were the result of just doing what comes naturally, no charts, no ttc, no nothing.

still, getting "neutered" as the OP implies doesn't set well w/me where human beings are concerned either.

: guess i have no point. just trying to chat it up w/kerikadi

just like a woman, march into the dad's forum and start chatting it up w/another mama...

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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#19 of 25 Old 06-27-2003, 05:21 PM
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While respecting the don'tfixit.org site author's personal experience, there are factual errors in his claims and he writes as if having a vasectomy WILL in all cases result in all those nasty problems. That's not a legitimate way to argue or support one's case. He employs the fallacy of what is true for one will always be true for all others. Anecdotal evidence is still evidence, just like "scientific proof," but when evidence is miscast by using this fallacy, the argument it purports to support becomes less credible, not because of the evidence itself but by its misuse.

The counter arguments I read during my decision making process were more factual in nature and lacked conspiratorial shadows. I would hope mamas would not allow their inquiring husbands to stop at don'tfixit.org as the only counter argument source.

lucimomster asked about problems: I had post-op pain for much longer than almost every other guy I've talked to about it. But so far that was the only problem I have experienced. My "functioning" has actually improved (probably as a result of less stress about getting pregnant), but that's probably more info than ANYONE really wants to know about.
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#20 of 25 Old 06-27-2003, 06:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dov
...when evidence is miscast by using this fallacy, the argument it purports to support becomes less credible, not because of the evidence itself but by its misuse.

lucimomster asked about problems: I had post-op pain for much longer than almost every other guy I've talked to about it. But so far that was the only problem I have experienced. My "functioning" has actually improved (probably as a result of less stress about getting pregnant), but that's probably more info than ANYONE really wants to know about.
Dov, thank you SO much for looking at that site with a critical eye for me. I appreciate your taking the time to do it, and to write a (definitely not too long!) post in response.

I also appreciate your honesty about your post-op pain ... and the areas of improvement, too! Personally, I'd be hoping for similar improvement in DH's case, for both our benefits!

DH had surgery to remove bone spurs on his big toe last fall, and he's still got pain that sometimes leads him to say he wished he never had the surgery..... as a result, neither of us is hurrying him off to the urologist for The Big Snip. But now that I've read your response, I'll look further into the matter.

Thanks again!

Luci
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#21 of 25 Old 06-12-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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I know most of you know this but being "Tutored" (Castration ) is nothing like getting a Vasectomy. In a Neutering/castration of the medical term both testicles are removed and the patient is not only sterile but has little to near no Testosterone. This creates a guy with zero sex drive, probably mental and energy issues and in most men lots of symptoms that look like depression.

Vasectomy is just snipping the tubes that supply sperm. The testicles still work and even continue to make sperm. It just can't get out. I had mine done with a gadget called the Vasclip (No longer available?) that makes it possible to keep the spermatic cord intact. It just "clamps" it shut. Quick recovery and I really don't know why they are not still in biz...
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#22 of 25 Old 07-18-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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Google says the vasclip has a 25% failure rate.

Finally pregnant with #1 and #2! Due September 9th, 2014 
   
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#23 of 25 Old 07-22-2008, 12:32 AM
 
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Be prepared that you might be in pain for the rest of your life and feel like your testicles are going to fall off...DH is miserable since his vas. You definitely need to be 100% researched and positive you want to do it.

Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
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#24 of 25 Old 07-22-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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I have to say I agree 100% with Dov's post. ANY surgery can have negatives and should be considered carefully. I DO NOT agree with any kind of castration, where the testicles are actually removed, but all that is done for a vasectomy is a cutting of the tube. DH had it done after our second and final child...he was 31 at the time. He left for his appointment and returned home so quickly I thought it had been cancelled, but it was a quick procedure. He was sore for about 2 days but was glad of the excuse to take a couple of days off work and sat around with the bag of peas. He felt fine and has had no problems with pleasure or org since. It has actually enhanced our sex life, as neither of us is afraid of getting pg and can be wild and spontaneous no matter where we are. If you do decide to do it, make sure you use a reputable urologist and meet with him/her a few times to discuss any fears or concerns pre-vas.
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#25 of 25 Old 07-23-2008, 08:39 AM
 
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As one who is snipped, sometimes I have pain. I've also gone back for checks to make sure. It has been documented that they *can* reconnect.
I sure hope that doesn't happen.
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