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#1 of 9 Old 01-09-2007, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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whatis your favorite way to bond with little one? my dd is 15 weeks and dh is 22 years. he works all day 6 days a week and is always tired when he gets home so he never really get a whole lot of time with dd. what are some ways he can really feel like he is bonding with her. right now he feels like she will only tolerate him if i am there next to them both. he really wants to feel closer. what can we do? what do you like to do the most?

Trying to with SO my dd3 my ds 2 dss 7 dss 8 and 2 chinese creasted's
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#2 of 9 Old 01-10-2007, 07:22 PM
 
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Maybe he's already co-sleeping, but if not, I recommend it b/c among other benefits is a connection both will feel.

I enjoy bonding with DS at Lowes and HD . . .and feeding ducks. I generally do better if we have a task to accomplish together rather than open-ended, unscheduled time.
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#3 of 9 Old 01-14-2007, 07:27 PM
 
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I either work late or really early so basically whatever time I've got if it's in the day time I'll play with my daughter, give her some bellytime, or if I have other things to do I'll put her into our Maya Sling that way she still gets skin on skin contact if I can't give her my full attention. If it's after dark late at night I'll try to let the wifey get more sleep and I'll rock the baby to sleep, change diapers, sing off key to her and only wake the wife to breastfeed. Basically when I come home totally beaten at work it pretty much takes five seconds or less seeing my baby and I've energy to keep on keeping on. My baby is only 7 weeks old right now...
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#4 of 9 Old 01-17-2007, 02:37 AM
 
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I'm a mom, but my DH loved baby-wearing and co-sleeping. If he's open to it, you could pick out a sling/wrap/whatever together. I purposely bought very nuetral colors so that DH would be comfortable in it. He would start baby-wearing as soon as he got home from work. He also enjoyed getting them to sleep in the sling, and often he would just wear them there all night during the first few months. I think the biggest things for him were the close contact of baby-wearing and also that I just made sure that he knew that other than nursing, everything was a shared task. Not that I made him do everything, but nothing was off-limits- he learned to bathe them, put them to sleep, carry them, etc. as well as I did. We looked at it from the perspective that our kids were both of our responsibilities equally, and we felt like we were learning how to parent and bond with them together equally.
DH seemed to bond with my firstborn DD really quickly, before we left the birth center. He got to hold her first because I had some blood loss, so that helped. With my DS he seemed more tentative, and I was worried during the first day, but that night (at home, I had them at a birth center where you go home the same day), I went to sleep before the baby and at one point woke up because I heard him crying. When I came out of my room DH was smiling at him and stroking him and calling him a newly made-up nickname, so I knew that holding him in the sling and feeling DS breathing against him and all that is what it took for him. My kids are 3 and almost 2 now, and he is as close with them as I am.
Hope that helps.
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#5 of 9 Old 01-28-2007, 05:40 AM
 
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Definitely do the baby wearing thing. It is the closest we can really get to the kind of closeness of breastfeeding.

One thing I wish WE had done that some friends of ours did they called "daddy walking". When DS was upset, daddy would put him over his shoulder, pat and rub his back, and just walk around the house. It has taken a very long time for me to become an acceptable "soother", and still it usually has to be mom.

Also, get involved in the bedtime routine. I am the official "Reader of Books Before Bedtime," and it is really great! Or be the Bedtime Baby Bather.
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#6 of 9 Old 01-28-2007, 09:13 PM
 
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I never felt close to any of my kids til they were older, like 1 1/2. No big thing.
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#7 of 9 Old 02-03-2007, 12:24 PM
 
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I know the baby is young, but let him know that it is ok to rough house with her. I don't recommend the full service that a toddler can handle, but a good rolling around on the bed or pretend dropsies or any other gentle physicality is a great way to win the babes over.

Funny, it worked with my wife too!
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#8 of 9 Old 02-05-2007, 04:42 AM
 
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DH bonds by wrestling and playing. I wouldnt expect that a 15 week old would really want anyone but mama. Give her time, she'll come around.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

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#9 of 9 Old 02-10-2007, 05:35 PM
 
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When my ds was a wee little guy, I would have him spend a lot time iwth me in my lap on the burpee. Now I'm sure some people will think this sounds weird, but on Saturday mornings he would wake up early, like 5am, but still be fairly tired. So what I started doing was getting up with him, feeding him, and then I'd play video games while he slept in my lap with the burpee.

Plus dw was able to sleep in then. )
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