Need permission to be fixed? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 21 Old 01-29-2007, 12:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
JWSJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 76
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
In the state of NC a husband needs the approval of his wife to get a vasectomy. The wife has to sign a legal document agreeing to the procedure that is then given to the physician before the procedure begins.

Is this required when a wife wants to get 'fixed' or terminate an unwanted pregnancy also?

Honestly if it was the other way around I think a few women's organizations would be vocal about it. But I don't really know.
JWSJ is offline  
#2 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 03:19 PM
 
tropicalmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Los Cabos, Mexico
Posts: 144
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
IMHO, that's crazy!!!
tropicalmom is offline  
#3 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 03:24 PM
 
Yoshua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where I am
Posts: 4,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
it should go both ways....

If a man has to jump through that many hoops, if a married woman wants to terminate a pregnancy or get a hysterectomy or even get her tubes tied... she should also have to jump through that many hoops.




In my opinion it is ones own body and no one should be able to say weather the man or woman should be able to get a V or get her tubes tied in my opinion.

Partner to :Jessica(??) papa to Jake(7) and : Kaiya (2)
Yoshua is offline  
#4 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 03:29 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,043
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here they didn't require anything like that when DH got a V.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#5 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 03:32 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,043
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua View Post
it should go both ways....
or get a hysterectomy
That shouldn't even be on the list. I can't imagine a doctor denying a woman a life saving operation like that because her husband wouldn't sign off on it.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#6 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 03:35 PM
 
the_lissa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Posts: 13,253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it is ridiculous. A person's body is their own, and a spouse is not a parent.

Ideally, a couple should discuss big decisions like this, but it is not the doctor's business.

Jam 7, Peanut Butter 5, and Bread 2.

the_lissa is offline  
#7 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 04:06 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by JWSJ View Post
In the state of NC a husband needs the approval of his wife to get a vasectomy. The wife has to sign a legal document agreeing to the procedure that is then given to the physician before the procedure begins.

Is this required when a wife wants to get 'fixed' or terminate an unwanted pregnancy also?

Honestly if it was the other way around I think a few women's organizations would be vocal about it. But I don't really know.
Women's organizations did have something to say about it. It used to be standard practice that women had to have their husband's consent for any of these procedures, but it didn't go the other way around. Actually, at that time, a man was legally entitled to make his wife pregnant any time, whether she wanted it or not, no matter how hard it was on her body - and she had no medical recourse to spare herself from pregnancy.

I think that's sick.

I also think it's messed up that a man can't get a vasectomy without his wife's signature. I wonder why on earth this would ever have been put in place. Talk about going backwards...

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#8 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 05:39 PM
 
Girl In The Fire's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canarble Wagon
Posts: 1,041
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is it truly a law or is it something that individual doctor requires? When I told my doc I wanted my tubal he never once mentioned or asked for my husbands permission. Recently a co-worker had a baby and wanted a tubal after she delivered. The doc told her she needed her husbands permission and would not do one without it. The husband gave permission but becuase he is a control freak held it over her head and would threaten to call the doctor and revoke his permission when they got in agruments :Puke It shouldnt be legal either way, your body your choice.
Girl In The Fire is offline  
#9 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 05:44 PM
 
ashleyhaugh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 4,428
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
in the military you need your "sponsers" (the service member, your husband, lol) permission to get your tubes tied, but i dont know if it works the same way if the husband of a female soldier wanted to get a V, ive never known anyone personally in that situation

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
ashleyhaugh is offline  
#10 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 05:45 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,043
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What's to stop a married person from lying and saying that they are single?

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#11 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 06:01 PM
 
Marsupialmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 9,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It isn't legally requried but I had to sign for my dh....It was the doctor covering his own butt. He didn't want a law suit.
Marsupialmom is offline  
#12 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 06:34 PM
 
jakesmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 688
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's terrible and def , as a pp mentioned, a move backward in human rights. You shouldn't need someone else's permission (doc covering their liability or not) to do for your body what you think is best. Hopefully, you are ina relationship where the decision has been discussed and you've come to an agreement, but in the end it IS up to the person who owns the body whether or not to sterilize. ICk.
jakesmama is offline  
#13 of 21 Old 01-31-2007, 07:16 PM
 
MamaFern's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: surrounded by snowy mountains
Posts: 7,600
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
that is crazy.. i think that if you are in a relationship communication about something like birth control should be key, but if a man doesn't want anymore or any children, then he probably shouldn't have any and that is his right.

 

 

Quote:
Once in while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right....

 

MamaFern is offline  
#14 of 21 Old 02-01-2007, 02:48 PM
 
neetling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: safe in God's arms
Posts: 3,399
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I live in NC and am having a tubal after this pregnancy. My husband was not required to sign anything.
neetling is offline  
#15 of 21 Old 02-05-2007, 01:53 PM
 
Yoshua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where I am
Posts: 4,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla View Post
That shouldn't even be on the list. I can't imagine a doctor denying a woman a life saving operation like that because her husband wouldn't sign off on it.
Thing is though. Rights to ones own body.


Neither should be on a list required for someone other than you to sign off on.



I should be able to get a V as much as a woman should be able to get the preverbial 'tubes tied' as ones own wish.

Partner to :Jessica(??) papa to Jake(7) and : Kaiya (2)
Yoshua is offline  
#16 of 21 Old 02-05-2007, 03:13 PM
 
Sharlla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Springfield Mo
Posts: 12,043
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Totally, not having sex is just as easy as getting permanent BC if one partner was in disagreement. Although if I wanted more kids someday and DH went out behind my back and got a V, or even did it against my wishes, I would probably leave him. I would expect him to do the same if I did that to him.

Unassisted birthing, atheist, poly, bi WOHM to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wes (14) Seth (7) Pandora Moonlilly (2) and Nevermore Stargazer (11/2012)  Married to awesome SAH DH.

Sharlla is offline  
#17 of 21 Old 02-05-2007, 06:06 PM
 
Yoshua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where I am
Posts: 4,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla View Post
Totally, not having sex is just as easy as getting permanent BC if one partner was in disagreement. Although if I wanted more kids someday and DH went out behind my back and got a V, or even did it against my wishes, I would probably leave him. I would expect him to do the same if I did that to him.
That's fine.


I would say that if your husband felt the need to get a surgery behind your back there were larger problems at hand anyways.


A surgery like this should be discussed between a partnership, however it is ones own body and they should have the right to do with it as they wish. And if they wish a vascectomy that you don't want? Then that is also your right to leave them.


But it isn't your right (not you specifically Sharlla, general 'you') to tell your significant other what they can, and can not do with their body. Only tell them that you don't want them too, but the decision really IS up to them.

Partner to :Jessica(??) papa to Jake(7) and : Kaiya (2)
Yoshua is offline  
#18 of 21 Old 02-05-2007, 06:12 PM
 
Houdini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Searching for Jason Bourne
Posts: 4,067
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That's insane. My husband didn't have to sign anything for my hysterectomy to be done. The most the doctor said was discuss it.

Rebecca wife of Megan...moms to six crazy kiddos! Seth (15), Madison (13), Zachary (12), Trevor (12), Alex (10), and Nicholas (9)
Houdini is offline  
#19 of 21 Old 02-05-2007, 07:08 PM
 
ipfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 534
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That NC law is crazy. I'm shaking head in disbelief.
ipfree is offline  
#20 of 21 Old 02-05-2007, 10:09 PM
 
MovingMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Eastern North Carolina
Posts: 2,340
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleyhaugh View Post
in the military you need your "sponsers" (the service member, your husband, lol) permission to get your tubes tied, but i dont know if it works the same way if the husband of a female soldier wanted to get a V, ive never known anyone personally in that situation
It's not the sponsor's consent that is required, but the spouse's. And it's Tricare (insurance) that does the requiring. The military can't dictate the health care of a civilian.

My friend's DH just got a vasectomy, & she had to ok it. He's the military member in the family.

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

MovingMomma is offline  
#21 of 21 Old 02-10-2007, 05:31 PM
 
emptymug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 82
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That is a crayz law. Not surprising, but definitely crazy.

On the upside, at least it'll promote discussion of said V. On the downside, it makes getting a V for say Valentines Days less of a surprise for the wife.
emptymug is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off