Fathers who breastfeed!? - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-08-2007, 04:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I was researching Unassisted Childbirth, when I came across this page. Wow! Males not only can produce milk and breastfeed, they sometimes do. This was definitely news to me. I found it a tad strange and disturbing at first, but really it's quite awesome.

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/...s/milkmen.html

I remember wondering one time, when I was a teenager, why males even had nipples. Apparently there is a reason

Yay males!
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Old 12-12-2007, 02:05 PM
 
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Men do not have nipples for breastfeeding. Just because it's possible to do something doesn't mean it should be done.

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Old 12-12-2007, 02:11 PM
 
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Run! Run away from this topic! Trust me! :
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Old 12-12-2007, 02:27 PM
 
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Good idea!

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Old 12-12-2007, 09:18 PM
 
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Should something happen to me and there wasn't another woman to bf my ds, I'd love my husband to be able to.
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Old 12-12-2007, 10:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post
Men do not have nipples for breastfeeding. Just because it's possible to do something doesn't mean it should be done.
:


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Run! Run away from this topic! Trust me! :

knit.gifMama to reading.gif  and  babygirl.gif
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Old 12-12-2007, 10:47 PM
 
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I hope you are joking because if men(and apparently they can) nourish their children from their own bodies, then why not/ Maybe moms would feel supported and equal in this task of child rearing and children would have oppurtunities to have close relationships with both parents.
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Old 12-12-2007, 11:09 PM
 
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I'm also curious about the automatic rejection of this topic? "Run away" because it is skanky to you? "Run away" because conflict will happen? "Run away" because MDC will shut it down?

I'm also curious about the automatic "just because they can doesn't mean they should" thought...it wasn't so long ago that folks thought that just because women could do x they shouldn't because it's unladylike/men wouldn't like them/it would hurt their fragile uteruses...that makes me skittish of any automatic argument about which sex should or should not do ANYTHING, even something seemingly biologically determined. Heck, if we'd stuck with some people's ideas of biologically determined I'd never have gotten a Computer Science degree, been able to marry my same-sex partner, gone to seminary, or become a minister...

So...if you're opinionated enough to give us a one liner, how about spelling out where your views come from?
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Old 12-12-2007, 11:22 PM
 
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I'm also curious about the automatic rejection of this topic? "Run away" because it is skanky to you? "Run away" because conflict will happen? "Run away" because MDC will shut it down?

I'm also curious about the automatic "just because they can doesn't mean they should" thought...it wasn't so long ago that folks thought that just because women could do x they shouldn't because it's unladylike/men wouldn't like them/it would hurt their fragile uteruses...that makes me skittish of any automatic argument about which sex should or should not do ANYTHING, even something seemingly biologically determined. Heck, if we'd stuck with some people's ideas of biologically determined I'd never have gotten a Computer Science degree, been able to marry my same-sex partner, gone to seminary, or become a minister...

So...if you're opinionated enough to give us a one liner, how about spelling out where your views come from?
It's not a "one-liner" it's my opinion. Just because it can be summed up in one sentence doesn't make it a one liner. Wikipedia defines a one liner as this: "A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line".

I can't speak for her but I believe mamawindmill saw this reaction to my comment coming a mile away and that is why she said run.

I believe MDC has very different opinions about "male-breastfeeding" () it's not a taboo to disagree with it. It's interesting that nobody that's for it was responding to this in the four days it's been up to say "hoo-rah" yet I come on and say I disagree and suddenly people are interested.

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Old 12-13-2007, 02:06 AM
 
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havn't been on in a month or so so I just saw this topic...

I think this is an awsome idea. It's so cool that a man can step in and keep feeding his kids naturally if need be. And how many families are without women? Don't their kids deserve to drink "mama" milk too?

Sure it's "weird" but I'm totally for this one!


oh.... and by the way...

"hoo-rah"

Kris: "auntie" to W (7yrs)  and Z (5yrs)
 
→Waiting to start my own little family←
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Old 12-13-2007, 02:14 AM
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It's interesting that nobody that's for it was responding to this in the four days it's been up to say "hoo-rah" yet I come on and say I disagree and suddenly people are interested.
There was a discussion about this over on the lactivism board. Opinons seemed to be pretty evenly divided between "awesome" and "skeevy"
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Old 12-13-2007, 02:31 AM
 
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I've posted about this several times and have gotten a bunch of disgusted responses. I was surprised by this as I would love if my husband could breastfeed and I think it is a wonder of nature actually. It would give him a small taste, also, of what it is like to be a mother in that way. My brother...who was raised by three strong minded females...is the only guy I know who has agreed to breastfeed if neccessary.
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Old 12-13-2007, 02:32 AM
 
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Well, its not terribly surprising given that all fetuses start out anatomically female, then through a series of hormonal shifts in utero and during puberty develop male characteristics.

I think that its wonderful that in times of great need, *every* member of our species has the potential to adapt and provide for our infants.

I think people dislike thinking about the very fine lines that exist between the sexes, or more nebulously, the "genders" and their associations within our social millieu. Thus the "skeeviness" of such discussions. Which is sad, because such issues do need to be explored.
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Old 12-13-2007, 02:34 AM
 
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Run! Run away from this topic! Trust me! :
We've hashed this out before. I was right in the thick of it. It was ugly.

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Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post
Men do not have nipples for breastfeeding. Just because it's possible to do something doesn't mean it should be done.
In a nutshell, :
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Old 12-13-2007, 03:45 AM
 
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I've heard of this before, although I must have missed the past drama over it here.

I've been trying to convince my dh to lactate for a couple years now. He's not going for it, lol. I wouldn't necessarily want him to do it all the time, but wouldn't it be great for those moments when Mommy just needs some time alone! Those if-this-baby-doesn't-go-to-sleep-in-the-next-five minutes-I've-been-nursing-her-for-two-hours-already-my-head-will-explode moments.
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:04 AM
 
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i would have felt a bit sad to share...but still would have enjoyed not being the sole provider of milk for my kids.

being able to sleep through just one feeding...

i don't really get into gender roles, i'd be all for a man nourishing his kiddo with boob-juice.
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:28 AM
 
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I don't understand why this has to be a "gender issue".........To me this just proves that we are fearfully and wonderfully made....
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:37 AM
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Sorry, but that's just weird. There are some things only women should do...ever.
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:43 AM
 
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I don't know if I want to share that privelege with men. But it's kind of cool... file me somewhere in between awesome and skeevy....

Mama to my spirited J, and L, my homebirth: baby especially DTaP, MMR (family vax injuries)
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Old 12-13-2007, 04:55 AM
 
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Should something happen to me and there wasn't another woman to bf my ds, I'd love my husband to be able to.
: And what's more, he would!

Yes, it is a bit off-putting.. But really, if the choice were between animal/plant milk or Daddy's milk for my babe, I'd pick Daddy any day.
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Old 12-13-2007, 05:01 AM
 
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I don't understand why this has to be a "gender issue".........To me this just proves that we are fearfully and wonderfully made....
That it does...
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Old 12-13-2007, 05:58 AM
 
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I'm also curious about the automatic rejection of this topic? "Run away" because it is skanky to you? "Run away" because conflict will happen? "Run away" because MDC will shut it down?

I'm also curious about the automatic "just because they can doesn't mean they should" thought...it wasn't so long ago that folks thought that just because women could do x they shouldn't because it's unladylike/men wouldn't like them/it would hurt their fragile uteruses...that makes me skittish of any automatic argument about which sex should or should not do ANYTHING, even something seemingly biologically determined. Heck, if we'd stuck with some people's ideas of biologically determined I'd never have gotten a Computer Science degree, been able to marry my same-sex partner, gone to seminary, or become a minister...

So...if you're opinionated enough to give us a one liner, how about spelling out where your views come from?
I didn't express any views on the topic. We had a long, drawn-out, rather ugly conversation on this topic several months ago. It t'weren't pretty. This is one of those "it's not going to end well" topics.

But fine, ignore my warning and drive that car right off the cliff!
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Old 12-13-2007, 09:31 AM
 
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its cool. dh couldnt handle it, tho. kids would love it.

 http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Wise-Woman-Fertility/182752565080597
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Old 12-13-2007, 09:53 AM
 
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I think if the body has the right parts, why not? Like a PP said, we all started out as females, biologically, and it seems that at least somemen have this functionality, which does make sense. Saying they can't use it if they want to seems kind of sexist to me, like women are doing to men what they used to do to us ("sure you've got legs like us, but you're no good at running, so you can't play sports).

Some women have small breasts and nipples and still breastfeed, so I can't see that it's a size issue. And I have coarse dark hair around my nipples, does that make me too "manly" to breastfeed? Why should women hog this amazing experience, if there are men who can and are willing to do it to?
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Old 12-13-2007, 11:46 AM
 
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Uggh, we did NOT all start out as females. From the moment the sperm hits the egg, our genetic code has written on it whether we are XX or XY (or something else in rare cases). Just because our sex organs' development doesn't start to differ until a certain point and happen to resemble female genitals more than male genitals does NOT mean we were all female.

There's nothing "natural" about male breastfeeding. If men were meant to breastfeed, their breasts would fill with milk after birth (and yes, someone women don't experience that, but it's exceedingly rare). It would also be common in other mammalian species (it occurs occasionally but it's most certainly not common). I'm not saying people can't think it's cool, but not use whether or not it's natural as a stepping stone to make your opinion more valid or open-minded than someone else's.

There's nothing sexist about noting biological differences between males and females. I personally don't like male breastfeeding because I happen to think mothers are unique and fathers have their own special roles, which apparently means I hate feminism and equal rights, judging by how this conversation usually goes.

Quote:
I'm also curious about the automatic "just because they can doesn't mean they should" thought...it wasn't so long ago that folks thought that just because women could do x they shouldn't because it's unladylike/men wouldn't like them/it would hurt their fragile uteruses...
We aren't talking about socially constructed determinants. We're talking about biologically constructed determinants. Saying men can't breastfeed or be pregnant is not even on the same level as saying women can't wear pants. It IS biologically determined, whether it offends peoples' sense of equality or not. Being equal does NOT mean being the same, and I frankly don't view women as nothing but men without dicks. Men and women are, overwhelmingly, different from one another on a biological level.

That said, if you want your male partner to breastfeed your kid, fine, it's none of my business. Not wanting your dh to stick his boy tit in your kid's mouth doesn't make you a bad person.
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Old 12-13-2007, 12:12 PM
 
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I agree with CherryBomb!
Furthermore, I question the verity of some of the reports on the original link-- induced lactation is (from all I have read) very difficult even for women (when they adopt, etc)-- the idea that man, by "positive thinking" could induce true lactation within a week.... I don't know. It seems fishy to me.
Also, there are obviously no scientific studies on the long-term effects on the man or the child. I know that I am *still* feeling not quite hormonally "myself" 8 mos into breastfeeding. What must the effect be on men?

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Old 12-13-2007, 12:51 PM
 
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I agree with CherryBomb!
Furthermore, I question the verity of some of the reports on the original link-- induced lactation is (from all I have read) very difficult even for women (when they adopt, etc)-- the idea that man, by "positive thinking" could induce true lactation within a week.... I don't know. It seems fishy to me.
I totally don't buy it.
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Old 12-13-2007, 01:10 PM
 
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Some women have small breasts and nipples and still breastfeed, so I can't see that it's a size issue. And I have coarse dark hair around my nipples, does that make me too "manly" to breastfeed? Why should women hog this amazing experience, if there are men who can and are willing to do it to?
Why shouldn't women hog this amazing experience?

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Not wanting your dh to stick his boy tit in your kid's mouth doesn't make you a bad person.
Thank you for the belly laugh this morning. I needed that. Oh, and ITA.

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I agree with CherryBomb!
Furthermore, I question the verity of some of the reports on the original link-- induced lactation is (from all I have read) very difficult even for women (when they adopt, etc)-- the idea that man, by "positive thinking" could induce true lactation within a week.... I don't know. It seems fishy to me.
Well, don't you know, men do everything better than women, so why not add breastfeeding to the list? I know two people who adopted and tried to induce lactation, unsuccessfully. They both had previously breastfed children and yet it still wasn't happening. But yet I can hook my DH up to the pump and in a week he'll start squirtin' milk? Riiiiggghhht.

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Old 12-13-2007, 01:12 PM
 
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I didn't express any views on the topic. We had a long, drawn-out, rather ugly conversation on this topic several months ago. It t'weren't pretty. This is one of those "it's not going to end well" topics.

But fine, ignore my warning and drive that car right off the cliff!
Well, we're human and need to figure things out for ourselves!

Personally, I can't keep up with all the boards and all the topics, so often I've missed something and it's actually really useful for someone to post the kind of summary of what I have missed. So, thank you!
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Old 12-13-2007, 01:41 PM
 
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Dh's nipples are so hairy, I'd be afraid they would've choked or gagged my babes. Personally, i hate hairs in my mouth...

Sahm mom to three lovely girls, and happily married to a great, sweet guy
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