Any other single papas? Any queer papas? Trans papas? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 07-11-2008, 04:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just lookin' to talk to guys about the challenges and joys of being a single parent.

Any other queer dads? Any trans dads?

While I don't have kids of my own yet, when I'm out with other people's kids, like the kids I used to be a manny for, people often assume I'm their dad, having a day out without mom.

It goes one of two ways, either I'm clueless or I'm sexy.

In scenario one, nothing I can do is right, there's always someone who's going to point out something ridiculous like the baby's left sock is higher up than the other one. That's my pet peeve.

In scenario two, I kind of like the attention I get from women who flirt with me, assuming that I'm a capable papa, wrangling three kids by myself - but then I feel guilty, I'm betting women don't find it very effective to borrow other people's kids to pick up. Men never try to flirt with me when I'm out with the kids. The rest of the time it's the opposite, and men are way more likely to flirt with me than women.

SPBC Finally a Papa! Elise Ember Soleil - 10/3/10 - 4:09 AM - 6 lbs 8 oz My daughter eats donor milk! Human milk for human babies!
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#2 of 3 Old 07-20-2008, 02:47 AM
 
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Queer. Trans. Kinda single...other dad and I are no longer together - up until now we had the most amazing coparenting arrangement conceivable since we live in the same building and still like each other, but that is sort of up in the air because he wants to move 2 hours away. Which sucks.

I've definitely noticed the clueless/sexy thing. Also when I'm out with the kids and accompanied by any woman (lover, friend, acquaintance I ran into the minute before), people assume that she is the kids' mom, and accordingly direct criticism at her if they feel the kids are underdressed, shouldn't be climbing that high, etc. The other day I'd been watching 3yo dd from a distance when some teenage girls decided she would hurt her feet climbing since she'd taken off her shoes. So they started asking dd, "Where's your mommy?" Dd pointed at me. Girls: "Oh, that's your daddy." (which is what my ex goes by) Dd: "His name is Papa." Layered confused assumptions. :-)

Oye Yemaya oloto
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#3 of 3 Old 07-22-2008, 03:33 AM
 
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Queer and married. (one year on August 1)

We've had the daddy/papa conversation too. Though around here mostly we just get "My kids call my father Papa." from people.

malesling.GIFMutant Papa to DD (12)hippie.gif and DS (2)babyf.gif, married to DHribbonrainbow.gif
If it looks like I'm trying to pick a fight... I'm not, I'm rarely that obvious.hammer.gif
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