Can I vent about something? kinda long - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 02:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok if no one wants to read this its ok with me just need to get this out. I have a friend who has been more or less not thrilled that I got pregnant again. She has a 18 month old son and has been trying to talk her hubby into another one for a while but he doesn't want to so i think she is jealous. But she says that I have no idea what I'm in for and I'm too young to be having 2 little ones in diapers at the same time and with my sons impending problems (we are not sure what his limits are going to be and he might not have any) I'm taking away time with him by having another baby so soon and that I'm not going to be able to give him all of my love and care with another baby around. I think she is totally nuts and she is basically calling me a kid, I'm 20 and she is 26, my DH is 22. She even told me to give my baby to a couple who can afford it and who wants to have another baby. I couldnt believe she even said it. Basically she thinks that we cant afford it and I'm going to hate it and that I'm going to complain to her about it and she doesn't want to hear it. She is a great friend and I really enjoy her as a friend because she knows a lot more than I do about being a mom and I look up to her and I have told her that but she wants nothing to do with me being pregnant again and I hate it, Its like Im suposed to not talk about it because she is jealous. Well I'm sorry for her because if we don't stay friends because of this whole thing she is going to miss out on having a great friend and having friends for her son. So should I just cut my losses and quit dealing with her crap thats stressing me out or should I try to make this friendship work?
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#2 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 03:31 AM
 
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IMO, someone who would say anything like that to you isn't really your friend to begin with!! A true friend is honest and supportive, not down right mean!!!!
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#3 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 03:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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see now thats what i thought but if i totally dont try to make it better there goes my last good friend in Michigan, Im going to have to travel for my son to have playmates or start a mommy group or something.
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#4 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 03:46 AM
 
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Elaina, I've given up a lot of toxic friends, and trust me, you WILL feel better. Perhaps you can find some people through FYT here?

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#5 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 03:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, its just really hard to find friends who agree with well more or less our religion, (most people i know have a bad impression of pagans) and that basiclly turns them against me and i got a kinda bad rep about it for some reason that I just dont get.
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#6 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 09:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elaina_Bell_19 View Post
She even told me to give my baby to a couple who can afford it and who wants to have another baby. I couldnt believe she even said it. Basically she thinks that we cant afford it and I'm going to hate it and that I'm going to complain to her about it and she doesn't want to hear it.


I'm sorry -but maybe not what you want to hear, but anyone who talks like that to you has no business calling you their friend. I'm sorry she's treating you like that. Walk away. Maybe she'll come around in a few months. Sounds like she is very immature. Those words are definitely said in anger and jealousy.

ETA: There are lots of unlikely sources to meet new mommy friends. I nervously gave up what the OP mentioned "toxic friends" and I was amazed about what great people came out of the woodwork when I was looking for it.

Dani, wife to Cullen - 9/2002, mom to CJ 11/2004, Billy 12/2007 and Nora 7/2009
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#7 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 11:29 AM
 
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Elaina, I've definitley run into problems with being openly pagan. But, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. One of my goals in life is to further paganism's ascent into the mainstream; I want our group of religions to be seen as a valid and normal choice, not something for freaks. Thus, I am "normal" enough, and I'm very very openly pagan.

Are there no circles or PNOs in your area?

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#8 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh Sunflwrmoonbeam thank you so much for saying that, I dont know a single person who feels the way I do. Im so sick of how our religions can be treated sometimes. And as for circles or PNO's I have no idea I never really went looking for them and have no idea to go about looking.
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#9 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 01:42 PM
 
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one resource is witchvox.com. You can search for local groups there. You can check to see if there's a pagan yahoo group for your area (search in yahoo groups). Other than that, it takes some time. I had a hard time finding other pagans and was so very very lonely. But I've since started my own group (www.apple-branch.org) and it's going well.

Ashley, Pagan treehugger.gif mama to E (6/09) and my beautiful hbac.gif baby T (4/3/12)
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#10 of 10 Old 05-11-2007, 01:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thats really cool, for a while I tried to start my own too but that was back in high school and it was really only friends who though the whole idea of bing a "witch" was cool. I will look into the yahoo groups thing. I love those things.
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