Nursing Mamas, how are you doing? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 12:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So those of us that are nursing older babies/children, how are things going?

Right now Ds (2 1/2) is wanting to nurse a LOT, and my breasts are getting really sore I try to distract him sometimes, but there is a lot of me just dealing with it right now.

Has anyone else been getting the 'Oh gee, should you really be doing that while pregnant?'

Sandy, proud mama and henna artist. :
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#2 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 01:33 PM
 
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My 8 month old DS has been nursing NON-STOP at night and pretty much every twenty minutes during the day (for a moment or two). I think it's in large part because my supply dropped a few weeks ago, so he's not getting as much anymore. We're trying to convince him to take formula as well (especially because he's really not wetting enough diapers), but so far he'll only drink it if there's Cheerios mixed in... So he's probably getting way more solids than he should.

The ob/gyn I called when I first got pregnant told me I would have to wean. I asked her why, and she said, "Well, you'll want to nurse the new baby, won't you?" i said yes, but the "new baby" won't be here for another 8 months! My dad has also been after me to wean because he just thinks I'm doing too much. Whatever.
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#3 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 01:52 PM
 
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i got pregnant with #2 when #1 was 13mo old. i nursed her through the pregnancy, and not much long after (she was very demanding & it was her way or no way ....).

this time, i weaned. ds turned 2 is may. he was only nursing (ALL!!) through the night. getting up at least 6-7 times, adn not going right back to sleep. it has been 3 weeks today. he's doing great, although he's still getting up a couple times a night & needing help getting back to sleep. wish i could find a way around that.... :/

when i was nursing while pregnant last time, my mother in law was my main heckler. she was telling me i'd be too exausted, it wouldn't be fair to kayleigh, or the new baby, blah blah blah ... it was easy. it was just towards the end i started to get that annoying skin crawly feeling.

Jenn, wife to John
Mama to Kayleigh (6), Ethan (4), Norah (1), & Charlotte coming 11.09
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#4 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 01:53 PM
 
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Well, my nipples have gone from having to cringe and bite my lip while he latches on, to feeling like that the whole time he's nursing. In the mornings when he wakes up (I think he's mostly night-weaned himself!) he wants to nurse each side for at least 20 minutes, and is a royal mess the rest of the morning if I don't let him. Fun choices....

I'm so torn about what I want to happen---on the one hand, it would be lovely if he weaned soon an I had some relief from this pain. But on the other hand, I'd LOVE for him to still be nursing when the new one comes so that I might get a few moments of peace here and there, and to facilitate greater bonding between them. But in the end, I'll just let it progress naturally, I know.

I really can't tell what my supply is doing. I haven't been able to pump any quantity for well over a year anyway, so that doesn't help. I don't really hear him swallowing much, so that seems to be a BIG clue that there must not be much there. But he INSISTS that there's plenty of milk there, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on his part (or maybe just a taste IS enough for him, and he just wants to nurse after that).

He doesn't drink anything else other than water, and his water intake is WAY up. This is also clueing me in to a drop in supply. I sometimes worry about whether he needs more calcium, but I can't imagine giving him a vitamin for some odd reason. I'm afraid he'll start to think of it as candy or something. His diet is generally great, I just wonder if it's enough. My gut tells me he shouldn't need any milk after he's done with mama milk, but our society is so STAUNCHLY against that idea that it's hard sometimes.

Mama to DS 3/05 and DD 1/08
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#5 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 02:10 PM
 
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My daughter is 13 months old, and still nursong a lot. (I smashed my finge, forgive any typos.) I've been terying to distract her when i can with water or soy milk, because I'm SO sore and my supply is so low that it really hurts to nurse, but she still nurses 8-10 times a day plus at least 3-4 times at night. Blah. I'm pretty miserable, but I'd be more miserable if I forced her to wean when she's clearly not ready.

On another note, I'm STARVING! I eat more than I care to admit, and havrn't gained a pound yet. Its' getting ridiculous.
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#6 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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I am nursing my 14 month old. He is a really easy-going nurser so it really hasn't been an issue. He'll pretty much take it or leave it so if I don't feel like it, I have just been giving him something else and he is fine. So far I'm not sore or even sensitive so I guess I should be grateful. No one has said anything to me about weaning but I would imagine they are saying it to each other!! I am hoping that ds will keep nursing until after the baby is born so he can take care of any oversupply when my milk comes back in!

Katie
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#7 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 02:33 PM
 
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Mine get sensitive now and then and hes still nursing like crazy (14 months old). Mostly it doesnt bother me but some days MAN Im just like aghhhhhh!!! not again lol.. its sad.

What was hilarious was the other day at in-laws, dhs aunt was there and she asked if i was still nursing, I said yes (she has 4 kids ages 11, 6, 4, and 1) and shes like well, when are you going to wean, isnt that bad for the baby? I said no, I dont plan on weaning him, hes going to wean himself when hes ready and Im really looking forward to tandem nursing. Shes like what do you mean? I said, I mean, nursing them both... Im looking forward to it.. she just goes "ewww... what are you, like the jersey cow or something?" and turned and walked away!! WTH? LMAO.. what a dummy
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#8 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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About the toddler helping with oversupply and engorgement issues later on---I'm also hoping for this. I do have several friends, however, whose older children did not like the taste of colostrum. They stopped nursing for about a month before and 4-6 weeks after the birth, and wouldn't help with engorgement at all. Grr!!!

Mama to DS 3/05 and DD 1/08
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#9 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 08:04 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilylove View Post
...Has anyone else been getting the 'Oh gee, should you really be doing that while pregnant?'
I haven't got crap from people in years. I think it's because those who know me know they're wasting their breath trying to change me and those that don't are intimidated giving pregnancy/parenting advice to a woman with six kids.

The last time I got a comment was when we moved to a new neighborhood and someone asked since I was pregnant, what was the nursling going to do when baby came. I just looked at her blankly and said "I have two breasts and I'll have two babies. What's the problem?" <shrug>

No one's bothered me since.

As for the rest of you... well let's just say my momma bear hormones kicked in on your behalf.

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Originally Posted by Dov'sMom View Post
...My dad has also been after me to wean because he just thinks I'm doing too much. Whatever.
If my dad were to say that to me, I'd just say, "Well, Dad, you know no one else can nurse my son. If you think I'm doing too much you're welcome to come over and work in the garden, paint the baby's room, or help me re-organize my storage before the baby comes." :

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Originally Posted by simplehome View Post
...My gut tells me he shouldn't need any milk after he's done with mama milk, but our society is so STAUNCHLY against that idea that it's hard sometimes.
If anyone give you grief about it, you just tell them any baby that is so young as to *need* milk is to old to be off his/her mother's milk.

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Originally Posted by Tiffany_PartyOf5 View Post
...
What was hilarious was the other day at in-laws, dhs aunt was there and she asked if i was still nursing, I said yes (she has 4 kids ages 11, 6, 4, and 1) and shes like well, when are you going to wean, isnt that bad for the baby? I said no, I dont plan on weaning him, hes going to wean himself when hes ready and Im really looking forward to tandem nursing. Shes like what do you mean? I said, I mean, nursing them both... Im looking forward to it.. she just goes "ewww... what are you, like the jersey cow or something?" and turned and walked away!! WTH? LMAO.. what a dummy
I can think of many quips for the situation but they don't compare with the obvious level of ignorance combine with rude intolerance. For your sake I'm glad she's you aunt-i-l rather than m-i-l. Sheesh.

~BV
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#10 of 102 Old 07-17-2007, 09:26 PM
 
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Im glad to hear about others still nursing as well. Ds is about 15 months old and still going strong.
He nurses 9-10 times a day and has pretty much night weaned, which he has done on his own!!! We cosleep and he rolls away when he is done and if I snuggle too much he wakes up and wants to nurse but if I give him his space to sleep he will sleep all night. Hes gotta get the morning nursies or he is a grump though!

He is unvaxed so I hope to nurse at least until he is 2 but I would really like for him to be the one to decide when he is done, I just hope its not anytime soon!

My nipples dont hurt too bad,it doesnt make me snappy or my skin crawl but some days i do try to distract him when I know he wants to nurse when he is bored. He does headstands and pyramid gymnastics while trying to nurse and he is soooooo stuborn that its better just to distract him or let him do it instead of stopping him!!! He also likes to touch hhis head with his foot or try to make me kiss his toes which is cute but he needs to stay on task!

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#11 of 102 Old 07-18-2007, 12:41 AM
 
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Mine seem to have increased in pain this last week or so. It used to hurt just when he latched on but now it hurts the whole time. DH and I were joking last night that it is the baby trying to kick ds off. DS isn't really nursing that much right now - mostly just for naps and at night so it hasn't been that big of a deal. He does have a molar coming in so he has nursed a few times during the day because of that. But I suspect that will stop whenever the tooth is *finally* all the way through.

~~Mama to DS1 6/05 and DS2 12/07~~
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#12 of 102 Old 07-18-2007, 10:01 PM
 
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My dd is 32 months old and I think she is starting to wean. She will ask to 'erse' about once every other day now (usually only when upset) and it will usually only last for a minute or two.
The only person who has ever asked about dd nursing is my aunt, but she is a HUGE pro-nursing advocate and nursed her children until they were all 3 or so.

~e, wife to my sweet T , mama to my turtleman (12) , sunshine (9 ), and monkey (6)
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#13 of 102 Old 07-19-2007, 03:58 PM
 
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DD's 25 months old and nurses a few times a day, and if she wakes up, once overnight. It hurts like blazes and there is absolutely NO milk there. NONE. Not a DROP. But she needs that comfort and closeness, and I don't want her to lose her latch in case she wants to tandem with the new baby. So, there's lots of teeth gritting, especially overnight when she's half asleep and has a lazy latch, but we're doing okay for now.

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#14 of 102 Old 07-19-2007, 07:38 PM
 
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we're hanging in. i am a FIRM believer in CLW, and ds(25mo) shows no signs of slowing down. he's a demanding little fella, and i confess that at times, i wish he wouldn't "need" to nurse as much as he does, cause i find that often, he just holds my nipple in his mouth and suckles maybe once a minute. but if i try to remove him, he screams and screams, so i know he's not ready. fortunately, he gets a lot of nursing time overnight, as we cosleep (though we're trying to move the boys into their own space well before the baby gets here), so i don't know what that means for any eventual nightweaning, or if i even hope for that. he drinks water but refuses all other liquids, including old frozen bm (i can't express anything anymore).

the pain has decreased a lot in the last week or two, but i think that's in conjunction with the decrease in nausea, too. i seemed a lot more sensitive when i was sick all the time, and the nursing hot flashes were miserable.

i plan to nurse all the way through (who cares what anyone else says? my dh and my mw support me, and those are the only people i really need on my side). but i DO wonder how tandem nursing will work with a nursing toddler who is just so possessive of my breasts. we'll follow the children, as always.

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#15 of 102 Old 07-20-2007, 04:55 AM
 
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I have gotten many comments from my sister-in-laws each one with a different theory on why bf while pregnant is a big no-no...

s-i-l#1: OMG, ur still bf'ing! did you know that you are taking nutrition away from ur unborn baby -- I know u still wanna bf but ur hurting ur unborn baby.

s-i-l#2: that is so wrong u should wean the baby NOW. the bm is bad for him and it will make him very sick...Look at him he looks sick!

s-i-l#3: he is gonna drink up all the colostrum and that means u wont produce any milk for your newborn.

s-i-l#4: that is so selfish of u. u feel bad for ur 14month old and u cant wean him and u want him to bf with his new sibling...he is gonna drink up all the milk and then ur really gonna feel bad.

LOL!!!!!!

I just got sooo sick of them i am not going over to anyone's house nor am I inviting anyone over until after i have the baby... I just tell them the doctors know better than them and they said that bf will not effect my unborn baby in anyway and i am doing my older nursling a favor by not weaning him early and giving him a beautiful chance to bf with his new sibling.....so there!: :

but my breasts have completely dried up --- its so sad -- but ds continues to nurse during the day but not much...if he is distracted like the day we went to the swimming pool he did not ask for his milkies at all. I just pray and hope that he hangs on until the baby is born and that seems sooo far off.

Momma to GG (dd - 14 yrs old), Active (ds - 10 yrs old), Toon (dd - 8 years old), Olive (ds - 5 years old), Princess (dd - 4 years old) and babyboy.gif Keemo (ds - 24 days old)

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#16 of 102 Old 07-20-2007, 09:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It never fails to amaze me at what people will say to without having any actual knowledge behind it.
I've been lucky enough that my family and friends have only asked questions so far. Which has given me a chance to educate them. I'm sure there is some talking behind my back by a few of my ILs though. Oh well

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#17 of 102 Old 07-20-2007, 12:19 PM
 
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My son is almost 21 months and he nurses alot in the mornings and alot in the evenings. My boobs have been sore but I've been able to tolerate it. I have had to tell him no a couple times, but they've been when I knew he was just nursing for boredom or just because I sat down. I'm wondering what is going to happen when my colostrum comes in.

The only comment I received is that I'm prob so nausaus because I'm still nursing and maybe I should stop It was from my grandmother so I just chuckled
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#18 of 102 Old 07-20-2007, 12:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jennah_Gole View Post
I have gotten many comments from my sister-in-laws each one with a different theory on why bf while pregnant is a big no-no...

s-i-l#1: OMG, ur still bf'ing! did you know that you are taking nutrition away from ur unborn baby -- I know u still wanna bf but ur hurting ur unborn baby.

s-i-l#2: that is so wrong u should wean the baby NOW. the bm is bad for him and it will make him very sick...Look at him he looks sick!

s-i-l#3: he is gonna drink up all the colostrum and that means u wont produce any milk for your newborn.

s-i-l#4: that is so selfish of u. u feel bad for ur 14month old and u cant wean him and u want him to bf with his new sibling...he is gonna drink up all the milk and then ur really gonna feel bad.
Unless there are other icky-toxic reasons you don't want to be around you SILs (and with those comments it wouldn't be hard to imagine!), I'd smile sweetly and say, "With no working knowledge of human lactation, I can see why it would be so easy to believe such things. If you'd like to learn the truth you could hop on the internet and visit LLL, promom, or Kelly's breastfeeding pages. They're very clearly written."

I'm really not a jerk. I let most stupid comments go unchallenged BUT when people apply their ignorant assumption to my life, I will address their ignorance and give them an opportunity to shed it.

Quote:
but my breasts have completely dried up --- its so sad -- but ds continues to nurse during the day but not much...if he is distracted like the day we went to the swimming pool he did not ask for his milkies at all. I just pray and hope that he hangs on until the baby is born and that seems sooo far off.
Oh, I can feel for you. Fortunately for me, with each pregnancy my milk supply held out longer than the previous pregnancy. Getting the baby/toddler to sleep nursing without milk was the biggest challenge. We had to rearrange our lives a bit to make sure they had some good outside play in the afternoon before dinner or resort to a car ride to lull a little one to sleep. Except for my oldest child who took a bottle at 9 months (half-way through my pregnancy with his sister) all the children tandem nursed and I was actually nursing three during the first trimester of my fifth pregnancy.

Be encouraged. This time does pass... it may pass slowly, but it does pass. Having a nursing toddler means having your milk come in quickly without engorgement. I used to encourage my little one that the baby would come and babies always bring lots of milk for everyone. It became a mantra that got us through.

Take gentle care,
BV
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#19 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 12:06 PM
 
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it looks you have had some good experience...do you give ur toddler an alternate to breastmilk if your milk has dried up?
I mean ds drinks buttermilk and regular milk and likes cheese but you know its not the same to me as breastfeeding...He was chuggin down lots of milk and only takes a sip or two of milk and a bite or two of a cheese sandwich...just wondering if thats enough? I tried milk like Progress which is supposed to filled with vitamins and minerals and iron but truly it smelled nasty and he wouldn't even drink it...lol..i don't blame him.

Another thing i was wondering about was my ds usually wakes up about seven and then will jump on my breast and stay asleep for another hour or so...its just hard to imagine when i will already have newborn next to me how ds will fit in...and then i was worried about him constantly waking up the baby cuz he wants to nurse...should i be worryin about these things?

Momma to GG (dd - 14 yrs old), Active (ds - 10 yrs old), Toon (dd - 8 years old), Olive (ds - 5 years old), Princess (dd - 4 years old) and babyboy.gif Keemo (ds - 24 days old)

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#20 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 12:17 PM
 
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Luckily, we are moving in 5 days and wont be nearby her anymore yay!
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#21 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 02:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jennah_Gole View Post
Another thing i was wondering about was my ds usually wakes up about seven and then will jump on my breast and stay asleep for another hour or so...its just hard to imagine when i will already have newborn next to me how ds will fit in...and then i was worried about him constantly waking up the baby cuz he wants to nurse...should i be worryin about these things?
I have been wondering the same thing. Ds is the same way in the morning. I have found myself getting frustrated because I don't know how it is going to work. I keep telling myself that it is still a long ways away in "toddler days" and ds will probably be totally different by then, but what if . . . . .

~~Mama to DS1 6/05 and DS2 12/07~~
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#22 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 03:48 PM
 
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it looks you have had some good experience...do you give ur toddler an alternate to breastmilk if your milk has dried up?
Well, sometimes it felt like good experience... other times it didn't feel quite so good. These last four children will all be spaced about two years apart which has meant my milk has dried up when the youngest was 20-22.5 months old with anywhere from 1.5 to 3 months before the milk supply returned.

As they were already on solid foods, I didn't supplement them with any milk substitute. Cows milk is out of the question as mine are all allergic to it and many of us have had anaphylactic (sp?) reactions to dairy and other foods.

My first three were closer (had a baby, 1yo & 2yo) and I put my first on a homemade biodynamic fresh goat milk I mixed with some carrot juice at 9 months. He had intestinal damage and took time before he could handle solid foods.

Quote:
Another thing i was wondering about was my ds usually wakes up about seven and then will jump on my breast and stay asleep for another hour or so...its just hard to imagine when i will already have newborn next to me how ds will fit in...and then i was worried about him constantly waking up the baby cuz he wants to nurse...should i be worryin about these things?
I think a lot of the lengthy nursing sessions with older babies is about an effort to maintain and increase supply. Once the baby is born, the milk comes in fast with a nursing toddler (under 24 hours sometimes!), and my toddlers have drastically reduced the length of their nursing sessions.

~BV
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#23 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jennah_Gole View Post
Another thing i was wondering about was my ds usually wakes up about seven and then will jump on my breast and stay asleep for another hour or so...its just hard to imagine when i will already have newborn next to me how ds will fit in...and then i was worried about him constantly waking up the baby cuz he wants to nurse...should i be worryin about these things?
I was wondering this same thing. my 27 month old still nurses to sleep at naps and at night and wants to nurse when he wakes up in the middle of the night and in the mornings. what do you do when you are co-sleeping with two who are both trying to nurse? how does the co-sleeping with two children work? i posted this question on the breatfeading after infancy forum but no one responded. someone has to have experience with this.
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#24 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 04:38 PM
 
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Im completely lost as what to do when both babies want to nurse all night long lol.. I mean, I guess I could lay on my back and pray my boobs stretch far enough (ouch!) or lay on my back and let them lay on top? but the baby could really do that until head and upper body control are there? I dunno
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#25 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 05:22 PM
 
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Im completely lost as what to do when both babies want to nurse all night long lol.. I mean, I guess I could lay on my back and pray my boobs stretch far enough (ouch!) or lay on my back and let them lay on top? but the baby could really do that until head and upper body control are there? I dunno
I've done it with babies on pillows and me on my back in the trench between them. I've also laid to nurse toward the infant (partially between lying on my back and side) and had the toddler kneel on my back side and lean over to nurse the upper breast. I've also done funky positions in recliners.

As your youngest will be 2 1/2 when your baby is born, I can only imagine them both wanting to nurse all night long if the toddler is sick and the baby is also sick or going through a growth spurt. My 2 1/2 year olds were always more inclined to increase their solids during a grow spurt than to nurse all night like a young infant.

~BV
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#26 of 102 Old 07-23-2007, 07:14 PM
 
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thanks for asking and answering the question about 2 night nursers, mamas. i am in the same boat. while we are trying to get the two older boys to start sleeping in their own spaces (when they want to), just so that they don't associate that transition with a new baby, my 25mo comes back to our room between 1 and 2am and pretty much stays latched for the rest of the night, till 8 or 9. i would never dream of pushing him away, but i am really, really hoping that by the time the baby is here, i can reserve the all-night nursing for the little one. i'm quite nervous about this, actually, because the 25mo is a very intense little person, and nursing seems to be one of the few things to help him "reconnect" and find some peace. and at the same time, he has lately become very, very possessive of me/my boobs. i hope he will share come january.

and i'm very happy to hear that a return of milk supply usually translates into shorter nursing sessions for the older one. then my only problem becomes.... will he share?

i gotta figure that if women have been having and nursing children for all of these thousands of years, our kids aren't the first ones in this situation, and there is some natural, gentle solution.

good luck to all of us!!!
hcm

HCM- gentle, all-natural, unconditional mama to three boys (8,6,4) and new baby girl! baby.gif  goorganic.jpg bfinfant.gifhomeschool.gif

 

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#27 of 102 Old 07-24-2007, 05:06 PM
 
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It's been 2 days now since ds has nursed. He was just nursing in the morning for the last week or so. I picked him up from his nap today and asked him if he wanted to nurse while I was sitting down on the sofa. He started crying and crawled off of my lap!! I guess that was a no!! I am feeling okay with it. I feel better that it was his decision although I am sure that it was hurried along by my pregnancy. I wish we had made it a little longer for immuntity purposes but he is clearly not interested!!
Katie
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#28 of 102 Old 07-24-2007, 09:12 PM
 
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we are down to about 2 nursing a day.. none at night and id be okay if she stopped totally except that i know when baby comes ill wish she was still nursing and she still wants to nurse..so i will keep going. its hard. my body feels already so toired from this pregnancy and nursing is very wearing on me. i love nursing though as well, so its hard for me to say no.
anyways.. thats my 2 cents
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#29 of 102 Old 07-24-2007, 09:26 PM
 
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the past few weeks i have been having trouble getting ds to go to sleep. especially for nap time. ds nurses himself to sleep. lately it also seems like he is latching on lazily and it sometimes feels like he isn't putting it all the way in his mouth...so he ends up biting it. anyone else think maybe this is a sign that my supply is getting low?
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#30 of 102 Old 07-27-2007, 07:11 PM
 
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Hi, I'm new!

We've got an unplanned little one coming Feb. 20 (I'm just over 10 weeks) and I'm still nursing our 9.5 month old. In the beginning I was totally stressed out and I think I did have a reduction in supply, but it seems to have returned now. I'm still worried what will happen as it dwindles more and more, as my daughter won't take a bottle. When we first started trying, she sucked back two bottles of formula for my husband. After that... nada. Won't do it for my husband. Won't do it for Grandma (even after going 6 hours with no milk!). Certainly won't do it for the one with the working boobies (me).

Night time HAS gotten better recently and she has, miracle upon miracles, slept through the night three times in the past week. I woke up engorged, so I must still be producing well, right?

My midwife is supportive and I'm glad for that. Family? They still assume I'll be weaning because the baby has teeth now. But wait, she got two teeth and I never weaned. Now, apparently, I will do it when she gets her *top* teeth.

I'm returning to work in a few weeks (just went to talk to my boss about it... poor lady put on a good face when I told her I was pregnant, but I know she's already stressing about the idea... my previous mat leave replacement didn't work out at all). I'm starting part-time, 4 hour days, so she should be fine without me for then. When I go to full time I hope to be able to spend my lunches with her so she can nurse. I'm not looking forward AT ALL to the prospect of pumping. I absolutely hated it the few times I did it, and never got a decent amount anyway.

It will all be an adventure, surely!

ETA: and I just realized I'm a dolt who clicked on January, not February! Sorry!
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