When does it become real? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 01:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've seen the baby on ultrasound and heard the heartbeat. I can feel the top of my uterus easily and am starting to show. I've even felt the baby move a few times. Somehow it's still not real to me that I'm having a baby. : Anything I can do to help get it through my head?

Obviously this is my first baby.

Andrea...wife, SAHM to 3.5 yo DS and 1 yo DD.

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#2 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 01:37 AM
 
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This will be my 4th and it doesnt seem real. Sometimes I look at my kids and think "oh my goodness I cant believe you are here with me and your mine"!
With all my kids it took a while to sink in even though there was mounting proof!! I enjoy being pregnant and feeling the changes and obvoiusly I want more kids but sometimes its like watching a movie of it all.
It is a sureal experience to be pregnant. Try talking to your baby throughout the day, baby can hear you or sense the vibrations. It might make it a little more tangable.
Angela
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#3 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 07:09 AM
 
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i was just thinking about this - how this baby doesn't seem real, despite all the signs to the contrary.

my three-year-old DOES seem real, and i was reflecting on how that came about. it was a slow process, beginning with her kicks and hiccups, then holding her after birth, and really impressing her reality on me a few weeks post partum with the sleep deprivation.
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#4 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 08:38 AM
 
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#3 here, & it does seem real, yet. i'm hoping it'll kick in after my u/s next month. i think because i had a m/c last year, i'm sort of afraid to accept it? i don't remember feeling this way with the other 2?

Jenn, wife to John
Mama to Kayleigh (6), Ethan (4), Norah (1), & Charlotte coming 11.09
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#5 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 09:36 AM
 
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: to all the pp's. This is my second. It doesn't seem real. At all. With ds it seemed real until he was born. Then it was like I was walking in a dream or something.

It's normal.
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#6 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 10:32 AM
 
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Wow! I have been feeling the same way! I keep telling DH is this for real is there really a baby inside me. This is the third time for me. I am having a home birth which I why I am thinking it is not real.

my last 2 births were at the hospital..I had tons of blood work,ultrasounds, etc....so I was always reminded of being pregnant.

With my midwife she seems so much more like a friend than a doctor or a midwife at the hospital.....with my midwife it seems more personal and not oh yeah what was your name again let me look at the chart.

I heard the heartbeat and would you believe I told Dh I almost though it was a conspiracy that they have it prerecorded into the Doppler Let me just say he rolled his eyes on that one!!

I am not sure when it will seem real this time maybe once the baby jabs me good in the bladder !!!

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#7 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 10:51 AM
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I still often say to my 3 year old "Wow, I get to be YOUR mom?!" How lucky am I!

when you can poke your belly and know where the head is and where the feet are, that's when it starts to feel real. For me with DD, it didn't even feel real for weeks afterwards (but then, we had a c-section and I was stunned). You don't just become a mommy, you grow into it.

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Canadian mama to A (C/S May 2004) and R (induced VBAC Dec 2007) expecting #3 in July.  Currently obsessing over permaculture, photography and beekeeping.

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#8 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 11:10 AM
 
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It never seems real to me till I am holding a baby. This is my third and I am too busy with my other kids to really get involved with this pregnancy.

And now that I am not throwing up, I just feel fine and can get through my day without thinking about the pregnancy at all.

But this is the way it has felt before, so I know that all my mommy love and instincts will kick in as soon as I give birth.

Actually my son just kissed my belly and said good morning to the new baby and I was like "what new baby?" :

Frugal, food growing mama to my four loves

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#9 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 11:39 AM
 
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Every time I'm at the store, and I pass the beer/wine aisle and think, "I should buy a bottle of wine," I have to remind myself, "oh yeah, I'm pregnant . . ." And this with total strangers already reaching for my belly (who said you could touch me anyway?!)

I think it's real once the baby really starts moving. But I remember with my first, I kept saying for WEEKS after the birth, "this came out of my body." DH got sick of hearing it. But it was WEEKS before I stopped scrunching her up on my belly thinking about the fact that she had lived in there!
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#10 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 11:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by DoulaLMT View Post
Somehow it's still not real to me that I'm having a baby.
With my DS, it didn't feel real till the nurse handed me the baby. I was like, "Holy cow!! There was a REAL BABY inside of me?!" : Thank goodness I didn't say that out loud! I was totally shocked that there was really a baby, and he came out of ME!
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#11 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 12:13 PM
 
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It seems to become more and more real to me in stages. Now that I can feel some movement it feels more real than a month or so ago and I know it will feel even more real to me once I stop looking super fluffy and start looking more round. My youngest girl already talks to the baby like it's here. Good morning mom, good morning dad, good morning Rhiannon, good morning Jack (I hope it's a boy since we're all calling it a him or Jack!).
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#12 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 04:50 PM
 
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For me, my last pregnancy didn't feel real until about 2 months AFTER I had my baby. I was being a VERY good babysitter up until then, even breastfed and everything
Seriously, I kept thinking " God, when are your parents going to come pick you up? I want to sleep already!" :
Though, reality did kick in a few times before then, like a month before I gave birth and I realized I didn't have a clue what I was getting into, and when we were leaving the hospital and they actually expected me to take care of this teeny-tiny little human being :
I'm pretty good at denial and avoidance at times
At least its a little better this time. Now to convince my doctors and my dh that a homebirth is actually in my best interest :

waiting on the power of the three wolf moon. 
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#13 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 04:50 PM
 
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I don't know.. it doesn't seem real to me, either, and this will be my third (holy crap- 3!!). Maybe when we have the u/s? Or when I get those strong kicks that just take my breath away (literally ). I don't know..

~e, wife to my sweet T partners.gif, mama to my turtleman (8) , sunshine (6 vbac.gif), and monkey (2)
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#14 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 04:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by g&a View Post
You don't just become a mommy, you grow into it.

g.
:

waiting on the power of the three wolf moon. 
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#15 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 05:23 PM
 
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I think this pregnancy is more real to me than my first one, but not by much. With my first I still have moments of looking at her and not really believing that she's mine. Like, what am I doing with a baby and how did she get here? The first time we heard the heartbeat, I thought that would make it "real." It didn't. I thought maybe rhythmic gas or something. Even after the ultrasound.
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#16 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 06:27 PM
 
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With my first I still have moments of looking at her and not really believing that she's mine. Like, what am I doing with a baby and how did she get here?
With my first, I've gotten to where I know she's mine, but sometimes I wish it weren't so obvious that she's mine. Anybody want an adorable little terror? :

With this one, I'm re-entering, "oh sh!t, I'm pregnant. What were we thinking not using a condom that night!!!" I guess that means it's becoming more real, but not in a good way. . . .

A few kicks would make it more real. 2w4d till the u/s . . .
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#17 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 07:12 PM
 
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Every time I'm at the store, and I pass the beer/wine aisle and think, "I should buy a bottle of wine," I have to remind myself, "oh yeah, I'm pregnant . . ."
Ha! Last night my husband was drinking a glass of wine. As soon as I went to reach for the glass, it hit me "OH gosh, I forgot I was pregnant" just in time.

I keep saying to my husband "Can you believe we are going to have a baby?" Even though I have been feeling small movements, it is STILL not real to me.

I am guessing that it will really become real once those movements get really strong... Keep hanging in there....

mama tocoolshine.gif  andbikenew.gif3rdtri.gifdue in November

 

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#18 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 08:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I guess I'm not alone anyway!! It's funny....I think it's more real to my DH than to me, and he doesn't have the weird body things going on that I do as a constant reminder. I'm hoping finding out the gender and then actually getting a few baby things will help make it real. We'll see...

Andrea...wife, SAHM to 3.5 yo DS and 1 yo DD.

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#19 of 21 Old 07-30-2007, 08:07 PM
 
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you know, I think it's different for everyone! And maybe different w/ each pregnancy!

I had to laugh at the PP's condom comment. I was so sure I didn't want to end fertility on a bad note w/ a miscarriage, but as DD gets more firmly entrenched in the terrible twos and her brother has his own 4yo challenges dealing with anger and frustration I find my self thinking : "WHAT in the world were we thinking??? We WANTED more of this??"
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#20 of 21 Old 07-31-2007, 09:16 PM
 
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Hi there,

I'm expecting our 4th and though I really believe I'm pregnant (I've been hospitalized a few times for dehydration and now have home IV's) I forget that there's a baby at the end of it, like pregnancy and having a baby are two different things. The kicks are great and I talk to the baby but I know from how it was with my last three that it won't seem real until I'm holding my newest little one and pulling out a boob to feed them. And in that moment I'll cry and freak and be super happy and terrified all at once. With our third I looked up during a pushing contraction at my DH (who was catching) and said "OMG, we're having another one!?!" Then reality will slowly grow from there. Almost 9 years after the birth of our first in some ways I can't believe she's really here even! It's just so huge!

Jessica
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#21 of 21 Old 08-03-2007, 12:28 AM
 
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Yes!! feel the same, and it's also the 3rd for me.( THERE SEEM TO BE LOTS OF THIRD TIME AROUND MOMS IN THIS THREAD) i really want some movement, that i think will help. i also keep thinking this really isn't happening, i don't feel pregnant. well in january we will all know for sure.
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